consequences

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
consequences
59
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 5:25pm

Watched a t.v program the other nite that a mother described consequences and bad behavior = additiobal chores/ house work. yard work ect..for her child. For instance, you kick your brother, you may dig a hole to plant the trees or rack the leaves. She does not take away privelages unless it fits the crime example, problems with cell phone use, you lose your cell phone, but walking a very fine line, b/c taking away a cell phne can create problems for the parents when they need the child to have the phone for saftey issues, communication issues ect.

Have been having a on going discussion about this with other friends about how they view this..

Productive, positive, good, bad, unproductive, negative ect...

What do you think.

Only had a sec to post sorry if it is confusing..

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:14pm

My initial thoughts are this....Chores, by their very nature need to be done by everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:12pm
I do this,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 10:24am
Or stay home and clean out the fridge?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:54am

Maybe it depends on the kid, but I don't know of any kids for whom this would be very productive. My kids are still young, but the older one is old enough to do some basic chores. We try to maintain the teamwork attitude, that we all live here and we all need to pitch in. If the kids break a rule they either get something taken away (TV or computer privileges, for example) or a time out (the younger one is only 2 and only responds to being removed from a situation).



Your example of kicking the brother? That would be

Kevali


 Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:54am
You got it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 5:45pm

Yes, it make perfect sense, I should have been more clear, additional chores. It is not a punishment a consequence. Isnt their a difference? To me a punishment is a penalty for wrong doing. A consequence is cause and effect a result, something that follows as a result of bad behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 5:51pm

I have heard parents claim it has been very productive with their older children, I have also heard it is corporal punishment and will teach kids to hate work.

I should have been more specific, I did not really mean this for very young children.

"we all have to live here we all have to pitch in" Right, what iam trying to say is giving a additional chore as a consequence.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 5:58pm
I don't think that I have ever assigned chores as a punishment but have used them as a distraction. More of a spur of the minute thing than anything thought out in advance. Kid's being bratty, I'm folding laundry. "Why don't you help me fold this laundry". Sometime all that is needed to stop bad behavior is giving them something else to think about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 6:15pm

Great point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 6:25pm
So i ask, if a kid is at home stewing b/c they lost their phone/computer/ability to hang out with friend whatever because of their bad behavior, poor choice, would it be more productive to give them something to do to keep them busy?

Pages