consequences

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
consequences
59
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 5:25pm

Watched a t.v program the other nite that a mother described consequences and bad behavior = additiobal chores/ house work. yard work ect..for her child. For instance, you kick your brother, you may dig a hole to plant the trees or rack the leaves. She does not take away privelages unless it fits the crime example, problems with cell phone use, you lose your cell phone, but walking a very fine line, b/c taking away a cell phne can create problems for the parents when they need the child to have the phone for saftey issues, communication issues ect.

Have been having a on going discussion about this with other friends about how they view this..

Productive, positive, good, bad, unproductive, negative ect...

What do you think.

Only had a sec to post sorry if it is confusing..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:35pm

That, to me, is just a benefit of the "grounding." You're grounded, no TV, no computer, no going out. Since you're home, make yourself useful and paint the fence.

If the kid was home anyway, without being grounded, I'd say the same thing.

Kevali



Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:50pm

Okay, i would not make my kids help me "paint the fence" evey time they are sitting at home( just a example, not like we paint the fence everyday...lol) They have to do their daily chores, but they also get to have their time, free time. Sure, they help me with extra household duties but they do not help me pull weeds every time they are doing their own thing on their own time.

But if they get mouthy about doing their chores, instead of getting to have their free time on the computer when their done with your chores they can pull the weeds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 3:51pm

We've done the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 4:02pm

I can't form a coherent sentence....I've tried to respond to this three times and deleted it, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 4:07pm

We give our kids an allowance, and it's not tied to chores.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 4:58pm
That's what I do too.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 5:29pm

6 year old lost library book,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 5:31pm

LOL` that a good question...im not sure what i mean. lololol.

Okay, when you "ground" a child they may lose some or all privileges. Then they may sit around the house accomplishing nothing all day other than their normal daily routine. What have they learned? I would prefer they do something productive and learn, "if I don't follow the rules i will be spending my free time sweeping the deck." It also may teach a child a sense of accomplishment. I know when iam done cleaning the house, as much as i dont enjoy cleaning the house i feel very productive once iam done.

I don't know, the taking privileges away is just not giving me the result as much as it use to when they were younger. My boys have to have their phones at certain times and have to do work on the computer, there is no getting around it. We are not huge TV watchers so they could really care less if i take this away. I have to reamin consistent, it is key for me. If I take the phone away but give it back to them only when *I* need them to have it means to me Iam giving in.

i thought if they break the rules during free time (which could be computer or texting on the phone) they have to do something productive. I remember when my oldest was about 9 he told his brother he was a idiot. I made him write 25 times i will not call my brother names. It stopeed the mouth.

Iam totally on the fence about this b/c i do not want it to have a negative impact..."relating poor choices to work" we all have to work and that does not mean we made poor choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 5:34pm
Okay that makes sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 5:42pm
LOL, grounding.