consequences

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
consequences
59
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 5:25pm

Watched a t.v program the other nite that a mother described consequences and bad behavior = additiobal chores/ house work. yard work ect..for her child. For instance, you kick your brother, you may dig a hole to plant the trees or rack the leaves. She does not take away privelages unless it fits the crime example, problems with cell phone use, you lose your cell phone, but walking a very fine line, b/c taking away a cell phne can create problems for the parents when they need the child to have the phone for saftey issues, communication issues ect.

Have been having a on going discussion about this with other friends about how they view this..

Productive, positive, good, bad, unproductive, negative ect...

What do you think.

Only had a sec to post sorry if it is confusing..

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 6:16pm
I dont use the word "grounded" either but my kids do... I also dont use the word "punish" we say there will be a consequence for your actions. My kids will say to their friends I cannot play, I got in trouble so Im grounded. Go fiqure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 6:43pm

ONe of my dd's friends got her phone taken away for some calls she was making with her phone late at night. Thing is, on the day they had the discussion and gave her the consequence of taking the phone away, they let her keep that the rest of that evening, then took it the next day. I thought that was odd, if my kids lose something, it is happening right then, lol

Taking away tv, computer, phone definately effect my kids. So sometimes the consequence is to lose all electronics.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 7:16pm

taking the tech away effects my kids but iam looking for more of a effect. lol When I take the phones away and their computer rights for a period of time and then they have to have a phone and have to get on the computer I would not be following thru even if the phones are limited to mom,dad and 911 and the computer to school work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 7:30pm
I understand. My kids would only need their cell phone at school though, so once they got home, they'd have to give it up. It would make my 14 yo very sad to have no FAcebook or texting! : )

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 8:13pm
Personally, I don't think that punishment is synonymous with consequesnces.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 8:38pm
I agree with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:01pm

I see nothing wrong with that example.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:21pm
I remember being grounded for something during TV's "Shark Week". I can't remember what I did, but I definitely remember being really upset that THAT was the week I couldn't watch any television.




















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:40pm

I found out recently that our library has a program for kids where they can "read down" library fines.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:49pm

This is a new idea for us. We started the allowance earlier this year. Before the allowance, Dylan had to work off his debt by dong extra chores. I got to thinking about it and decided that working off the debt wasn't giving Dylan the same message as handing over cold hard cash would.

The allowance (he gets $6 a week, every 2 weeks) isn't tied to chores and, outside of paying for expenses he incurs, he is free to spend it how he wants. But when it's gone, it's gone. I don't do payday loans.

His chores are taking out the trash and the recyclables to the containers, feeding the dog at dinner time (dh feeds her in the morning), cleaning up the dog poop, keeping his room neat, doing his laundry, and generally helping out around the house.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett