consequences

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
consequences
59
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 5:25pm

Watched a t.v program the other nite that a mother described consequences and bad behavior = additiobal chores/ house work. yard work ect..for her child. For instance, you kick your brother, you may dig a hole to plant the trees or rack the leaves. She does not take away privelages unless it fits the crime example, problems with cell phone use, you lose your cell phone, but walking a very fine line, b/c taking away a cell phne can create problems for the parents when they need the child to have the phone for saftey issues, communication issues ect.

Have been having a on going discussion about this with other friends about how they view this..

Productive, positive, good, bad, unproductive, negative ect...

What do you think.

Only had a sec to post sorry if it is confusing..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:56pm

I haven't heard of that program. Our library has a cans for fines every Dec. where you can bring in nonperishable food, disposible diapers, and other items and pay down library fines that way. The items are donated to the local food bank.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 5:03am
when my kids are corrected/sent to their room/a privlege gets taken away/whatnot, i just call it what it is, i think the consequence speaks for itself.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 5:09am
there were some programs forbidden in our house growing up.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 8:12am

i think it is a fabulous idea. So if dylan did not do his chores or only some of his chores there would be another consequence he would still get his allownace. right?

i just recently read this...

"a teenagers allowance should be enough to cover lunches at school as well as non-necessities with regard to clothes & shoes (example, just because they want them, not because they need them) and even a portion of necessities like shampoo, deoderant, etc."

I also recently read "parents are putting their children's allowances on reloadable Visa debit cards/gift cards ("allowance cards""

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-mlthetalk?ice=iv:mb:mbc:featured

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 8:17am

understood, and i do the same, in some sitaution, in talking to my kids or having a family meeting we will tell them what we expect and what will happen if they do not follow thru.

Example, Iam giving my 13 year old some new found freedoms, this is new to him so i have to go over the guidelines and what we expect from him and what will happen if he does not follow the rules. "there will be a consequence for your actions."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 8:19am

You and Mappers are giving me some fantastic ideas to bring up at the PTO meeting. :) Our school does not do anything like that and i think the "read off" is spot on and the donations too. :) One benefits the kids and the other a family in need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 8:27am

Here is where we differ, the consequence may be staying home and pulling weeds. The benefit is for all involved. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 9:49am

But they call it grounding, so they believe that is what it is?



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 10:02am
The usual consequence of him not doing his chores is that he can't do anything else until they are done. There are times when he is asked to do something so I can do the next thing. If he doesn't do his, I can't do mine. Picking up dog poop and taking out the kitchen trash/recyclables is done before Dylan eats breakfast (his idea). So if he wants me to cook breakfast, he must do those chores first. No TV/computer (other than for school) until his usual chores and school work are done. And he reminds me of the same rule. I also shouldn't be on the computer when I should be sewing or doing my chores. So it's mutual.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 10:10am

Dylan's schools over the years has had can food drives, old jeans drives, and sweater/sweatshirt drives for the local homeless shelter/food bank.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett