The Empty Nest

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
The Empty Nest
29
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 11:02am
Whether you work or stay home, how do you expect your lifestyle to change (if at all) once you get the kids out of the house and/or you are done paying for their educations? Will your work status change? Will your spouse/partner's work status change? Will you start hounding your kids for some grandkids or will you become a world traveler?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 12:53pm

As a semi-empty nester (all adult children but not all completely out of the house) I am loving it.

"how do you expect your lifestyle to change (if at all) once you get the kids out of the house and/or you are done paying for their educations?"

We are still paying for their education but our day to day expenses have gone way down. Our day to day lifestyle has not changed much. I do find myself not pinching pennies as much as I did when we were supporting 5 people. I splurge on more expensive items at the grocery store and when DH and I go on vacation we splurge on more expensive hotels.

Will your work status change?

My work status has not changed but my work hours have. I started working in my current job when DD3 was in 4th grade and it really worked well in balancing our work and family. It was a company in its infancy that grew every year. So I was able to work around her work schedule and work more hours as she aged. Eventually by the time she was a junior/senior in high school I was working full time. But over the last couple of years things have kind of leveled off and although I would like to work a full 40 hours every week most weeks I get in about 35-38.

Will your spouse/partner's work status change?

No having been the primary wage earner most of our married life he is pretty much stuck having to work until retirement.

Will you start hounding your kids for some grandkids or will you become a world traveler?

Neither, am in no hurry for grandkids. Have already done some the world traveling. Medical issues make it hard to do now. But am doing more regional traveling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:10pm

From your mouth to God's ears -- here's what I plan to do

1) move. Get out of the city I'm in an dbuya tiny condo down town in the a cool city on the coast.

2) hopefully by then I'll be working for myself in my own business and will be able to work from anywhere

3) travel to all the places I couldn't afford to earlier

4) good lord no I'm not going ot be hounding for grandchildren

5) oh yea I'll probably shout something like "free at last free at last thank God almighty I'm free at last" from the rooftops

8 years til college
4 years after that
I figure 12 years tops till I can make my dreams come true...

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:19pm

LOL, oddly, I would kinda like grandkids, I think anyway.

This is coming up pretty shortly for us. We have a year or two to go.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:23pm
I hadn't thought of the daily expenses going down, but it makes sense. We have money set aside for dd's college years, but we will probably try to cover it out of regular cash flow, so I keep having in the back of my mind that the expense will remain considerably for many years to come.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:32pm
The last two are not mutually exclusive. I'm perfectly able to hound Voldemort for grandkids while traveling the world, thanks to Facebook ;)

************

Kitty

Photobucket Photobucket

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 4:54pm

How much you day to day expenses go down can depend a lot on how much you are still contributing financially to children when they are adults.

Our grocery bill went down when they went to school (since they came home in the summer it went back up again for those months).

We no longer paid allowances, so that was money that stayed in our pocket.

No longer had all those little expenses that they needed money for here and there (school field trips, meals they have to eat out because of school commitments etc).

School supplies for college were a lot cheaper than school supplies for elementary-high school.

Once they graduated high school their clothing became their expense, lot cheaper to cloth 2 people than 5 people.

I have noticed that change gradually over the years but the biggest changes have been over the last couple of years since DD2 graduated from college and DD3 graduated from high school.

Since we paid their cell phone and auto insurance bills while they were in high school/college as they graduated from college that was more money that we got to keep in our pockets.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 3:36am
LOL, that's true, but that is because Voldemort is mature enough to let his mom be his facebook friend ;). I have to say though that it is very brave of you to press for grandkids, his being Voldemort and all.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 3:41am
Yes, I am pretty sure ours will go up, however, when dd goes to college. She will be in another city and possibly another country and we will cover all her expenses, except maybe pocket money. Since dorms are unknown here, that means rent etc. OTOH, we won't have to pay car insurance. There is no reason for her to have a car.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 8:04am

Right, during the college years the total expenses do go up. The OP was talking about the empty nest, after college. Which is when the expenses really go down.

Even though we are not completely there yet since we have 3 DDS and have already seen 2 of them through college we are starting to see the financial benefits of the empty nest. It is much less expensive for us now with only one DD in a college than it was when we had 2 DDs in a college and one in high school. Which was the point that I was trying to make in my OP, even though our nest is not completely empty at each stage that it gets emptier we see the financial benefits.

Since you only have one DD you will not see that total financial benefit until you nest is completely empty.

The other point that I was trying to make was the day to day household expenses go down as a child goes to college and the household gets smaller. A few examples using totally random numbers. A family of 4 spends $150 a week on groceries when they become a family of 3 it only costs them $120 a week. A family of 4 goes out to eat once a week and spend $60, they become a family of 3 and only spend $45. A high schooler has an after school commitment once a week that runs all evening so they have to eat their dinner there costing $5. The kid graduates from high school and that expenses goes away. If you add all of those little savings here and there together it can add up to a couple of hundred dollars less per month being spent on day to day household expenses. That is a couple of hundred dollars per month that can be used for those extra expenses that are caused by college.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 8:07am
I think the first real appreciation I had for the change to empty nest was how easy laundry day suddenly became. It was like WHOA!! LOL.

************

Kitty

Photobucket Photobucket

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

Pages