etiquette and meal choices for weddings

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
etiquette and meal choices for weddings
12
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 10:47pm
I just don't understand what the deal is here. Could someone PLEASE explain to me what could possibly be rude about putting a "reply" card in with a wedding invitation? I think I heard one or two people say it is. Further, what on Earth would be rude about offering 2 or three meal choices on that reply card for the guest to check prior to mailing it back.

I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

And does anyone else, besides me, think all these "etiquette" rules are WAY too relied upon? Personally, I don't care if I ever follow "etiquette.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 3:02pm
But you ARE paying for having the choice. Quite a bit. Those items are not at all similar in cost, so if the caterer is presenting it as a flat fee, he is pricing up. If chicken costs him $6 per portion, and steak costs $10, he charges you on the basis of $10 and hopes like h*ll that most of your guests choose the poultry. (Not your cost, that is his materials cost, for the entree and the veggies. Overhead and profit margin are added on to get your price.)

The caterers are making a LOT of money by offering that so-called same-price choice. Pass on it, and suddenly your cost per serving for the less expensive food choice goes WAY down. (If it doesn't, go find another caterer, because that one is ripping you off.)

As I said before, I will take religious dietary restrictions into account if I have invited someone of a faith that practices such restrictions. If you have a medical issue and make that known to me in advance, I will ask the caterer to accomodate it. Otherwise, have a sandwich before the wedding, because I'm serving what I'm serving, and if you don't want it, then no one will force you to eat it. I'm also a picky eater, but I don't see why a hostess should have to be responsible for my likes and dislikes; if I dislike what is offered, I do without. It's my bed, and I'm the one who should lie in it.

When someone is kind enough to invite me to his/her wedding, I'm honored. I accept for the pleasure of sharing in their happiness. I do not give a thought to what they will or will not be serving, or even whether or not there will be alcohol available. I may give some thought to the possibility of dancing, but only because I'll want to wear suitable shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 9:55pm
You totally missed the point, which was that if I'm paying 100 bucks a head, I'm paying 100 bucks for you whether you order steak or chicken. I was replying specifically to where you implied that the hosts gave a good gosh darn what you ate: "I have heard horror stories of couples who weigh the value of a gift given against the value of the meal eaten, but until I heard about these cards, I couldn't imagine how they possibly kept track of that. Now I know." Just pointing out that your meal choice doesn't make a difference to them - you cost the same to invite no matter what you ate.

 

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