Gifting Etiquette?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Gifting Etiquette?
50
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 3:19pm

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was a bit taken aback about a conversation with her MIL.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 1:22pm
I asked my friend and she said this wasn't anything that MIL has done before, and doesn't ask them what they want. It sounds like SIL made a remark about it to the MIL.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 1:25pm
I like your game, that sounds fun :)

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 1:30pm
My parents and my MIL are totally into making sure things are pretty even with all the grandkids. My parents get the boys the Hess toy trucks every year and do send the check for the excess amount, and it works out well. My MIL is pretty nutsy about it (but in a good way) that they all have the same number of presents. After having my FIL (they've been divorced for a long time) play favorites with my kids, I much prefer the gifts being even. It's more obvious on their birthdays, but if you are going to send more money to my oldest and usually totally forget about my youngest son's birthday, than I would just prefer you just send them each a card or nothing at all. It's not about the money, it's about showing favoritism.

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 1:32pm
I have a hard time with my in-laws also, they tend to buy whatever they need. I have given them gift cards to Woodcraft and my MIL's favorite sewing store. They both like to purchase big ticket items from those types of places and will save up the gift cards for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 4:33pm

i don't normally buy stuff for teachers at the end of school years (aside from donating to a whole class gift or money for a luncheon) but DS' first grade teacher was amazing and his first grade year was a wonderful one, i got her a g/c to one of the local stores and my son signed his name to it, my only regret is that it wasn't for something more personal like starbucks, she did/does drink coffee.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 4:40pm

except occasionally restaurant gift cards to couples. I kind of feel like I'm giving them a nice dinner out together.

that's a nice way to think of it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 4:45pm
i suppose, Lol. but not all gift giving is stuff we'd normally buy for ourselves anyway and that's what i meant.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 5:03pm
my friend was talking to me from her cell phone inside a dept store the other day, she was running down the list of stuff she still had to buy - rather expensive stuff i might add. i asked if she sticks to a budget and what she said is what she spends on one she spends on all of our kids because that's fair, frankly, i don't share that same sentiment. my kids get the same number of presents under the tree but i do not spend the same amount on each one of them, that would be impossible to me because their likes and interests don't cost the same.

 

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 5:17pm
I do the same with my own kids, I figure it all evens out over time. I just hate it with my FIL because it's becoming very noticeable to them when the oldest gets a $25 check on this birthday, and several months later my twins only get $10, and the youngest doesn't get anything on his. It's just so blatantly different, that it really bothers me. I'd just rather he send them all the same amount or nothing. His family is pretty notorious about it though, did the same thing with my dh and his sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 5:29pm

I think it depends on the recipient.

When my dh and I were younger, his grandparents always gave us gift cards to the grocery store and we appreciated them a lot! Between passing dishes, travel costs, and even meager gifts - we were always stretched thin. It would be an awkward gift for my MIL though.