Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
519
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 9:55am

It's not that I'm incapable of understanding, Jam. I don't need your sympathy. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate for me to say I don't agree with your designation of her as a SAHM. If someone SAH and is so busy that s/he needs a nanny and housekeeper--they're not really SAH. They may not WOH, but they're not a SAHM either. Professional volunteer, maybe? SAHM, nope.

IME, the majority of SAHMs SAH to be with their children. That's what my mom did. And well before we married, and again after we married and evaluated where we were in our professional and personal lives DH and I had many, many conversations and decided I would do the same. His job is supporting the family externally (earning income). My job is supporting the family internally (running the household and maintain the day to day operations of family life). Using that definition of SAH (which is common, IME), your aunt wasn't a SAHM. She may not have WOH, but she wasn't a SAHM.

FWIW, I also have no patience for those SAHMs who claim that their kids are happier b/c their houses are a hot mess. How a sticky floor = a happy child really is beyond my scope of understanding. Housekeeping is hardly rocket science.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 9:59am

We have basic cable, Like 20 channels and the package we pay for includes landline and internet, It's ok. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 9:59am

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Some people dont watch a lot of TV. We are a TV family and I grew up with it too. There are many things on cable I enjoy though and couldnt get rid of it. I actually cancelled some premium stations that were free for awhile though as they were not worth the money for us. The $100 a month for cable, internet and phone is worth for us, at least right now. In the future we might do something different, who knows.

The older I get, the more I loathe tv. I'll watch the occasional DIY or HGTV show (DS and I enjoy watching those together) and DH loves to watch sports. But I would much rather read or interact socially than sit passively in front of a screen for hours on end. I don't even watch tv when I work out--again, I'd rather read. Just not a big fan...

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:02am

Regina, when my grandmothers had kids they SAHed. It was not to be with their kids. It was because it was not really deemed proper for them to do anything else. They both had help, including nannies. So I think it really depends on the circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:05am

Silence of the Lambs was on amc the other week, Looove Anthony Hopkins!  We watch tv, My kids still like disney now and then, I confess to being a news junkie and DH likes his sports.  We get enough with basic cable. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:19am

Isn't that more of a generational difference, though? I have a dear friend who graduated from college in 1972. She was a teacher and a very good one, but has often said that she got into education b/c in her socioeconomic circle at the time, if you worked, you were either a teacher, a nurse, or a secretary. I recognize that isn't the case for every woman graduating from college in 1972. But it was the case for her. Those societal expectations really aren't in play anymore...there isn't the expectation that women will SAH once they have kids. Generally speaking, those who do, chose to do so. And it isn't just women, my BIL is a SAHD. Likewise, there isn't the expectation that women will only WOH in certain careers, either.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:22am
Gina, I have to admit, when I go into an ill-kept home, I always kind of wonder "What's wrong here?" Squalor is linked to unhappiness in my mind, not happiness. Illness? Depression? ADHD? Addictions? I know a lt of times it is "None of the above," but that is my first reaction.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:24am

I'll take that you disagree with how others tick.  My circle of freinds include SAHMs, WOHMs and dads too, I can appreciate other dynamics b/c I listen to their stories,  My aunt never had time to get bored, She was always running and her husband was a CEO which  meant a lot of weekend commitments, black tie affairs, etc too.  I don't think her house lady lived with them but I do remeber her company at her kids' (my cousins) weddings, She was indeed like part of their family.  My mother was probably that more stereotypical SAHM or what was called housewife back in the day, She was always doing for us and others and instilled in us the value of family and tradition. 

What do happy children look like to you?   

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:29am

I like a pretty clean house but I let my kids be kids too, Sometimes I catch soda cans where they shouldn't be, Lol. 

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:35am

Regina, certainly some of it is generational and you are right that it is not controversial for women to work most places in the West at least. But there are other circumstances that can play a role too.

For example, it is difficult in Greece to get occasional baby sitters. Either people have grandmas or else they have live-ins. So if you have a heavy social schedule and no grandma, you may end up with a live-in nanny simply for that reason.

As for housekeeping, I have a good old-fashioned Greek husband. He does not clean.He simply doesn't, ain't never gonna happen. He will do many other things, so it seemed counter-productive to divorce him over this. OTOH, my resentment at being the only cleaning person in the house was leading in that direction. Instead we hired a cleaning lady. Do we really need her? Objectively, no, but to stay married, you bet! It takes all kinds, and the older I get, the less it exercises me.

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