Helicopter Parenting

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
520
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 

 

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Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 6:03pm

just_another_marla wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">"Drinkable, enjoyable ... but definitely cheap."</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">I would say that this is a fair assessment. If my husband and I both enjoyed the same wines, it would be cheaper to open a bottle and share. I prefer semi-dry/dry reds and he favors whites. My favorite bottle runs $23, his $17. I was running into weeks where we'd open $40 worth of wine on Saturday night, each have a glass or two, remembering on Tuesday or Wednesday to pour a glass, but mostly forgetting, and then pouring it down the drain once we turned it to vinegar. Pouring wine down the drain makes me cry. So while we still treat ourselves to our favorite stuff, it's also not having that stupid pressure to finish the bottle. My husband is making an effort with red wines, so hopefully in the future there will be more opportunity for us to share a bottle of wine. For now, the fancier boxed stuff works out well for the occasional glass. It's also awesome for relatives who don't give a shit about wine. They get to pretend they fancy for not drinking Coors for once, and I could care less if they want four glasses of it because it's $18 for the whole damn box :)</span></p>

This is my favorite reasonably priced wine.  It retails for about $20.  When it's on sale, my liquor store guy gives me a heads up, lol.   http://www.michaeldavidwinery.com/wines/7-deadly-zins/

And this is my favorite inexpensive wine. Retails for about $9.  http://www.fronterawines.com/v2/nuestros-vinos/carmenere-2/?lang=en

And this is one of my fave "I don't buy it often because of it's price" wines. http://cart.bloyal.com/Seghesio/WineShop/WS/red2/ZOV09C

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 5:35pm

<<Go ahead, judge me. It's so freaking economical, though, seriously. >>

Na, no judement on box wine, I'm just not a fan of sweet white/blush wine unless it's a dessert wine of some type.  I can't drink the sweet stuff, I also don't like sweet mixed drinks, sweet beer or sweet hard cider.  I like the dry stuff but not too much oak.  It sounds like I'm a picky wine person, but really I'm not, lol.

 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 5:24pm

"Drinkable, enjoyable ... but definitely cheap."

I would say that this is a fair assessment. If my husband and I both enjoyed the same wines, it would be cheaper to open a bottle and share. I prefer semi-dry/dry reds and he favors whites. My favorite bottle runs $23, his $17. I was running into weeks where we'd open $40 worth of wine on Saturday night, each have a glass or two, remembering on Tuesday or Wednesday to pour a glass, but mostly forgetting, and then pouring it down the drain once we turned it to vinegar. Pouring wine down the drain makes me cry. So while we still treat ourselves to our favorite stuff, it's also not having that stupid pressure to finish the bottle. My husband is making an effort with red wines, so hopefully in the future there will be more opportunity for us to share a bottle of wine. For now, the fancier boxed stuff works out well for the occasional glass. It's also awesome for relatives who don't give a shit about wine. They get to pretend they fancy for not drinking Coors for once, and I could care less if they want four glasses of it because it's $18 for the whole damn box :)

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 5:10pm

Speaking of helicopter parenting, Time just had an article about it: 

Hover No More: Helicopter Parents May Breed Depression and Incompetence in Their Children

From the article  -

Their answers showed that helicopter parenting decreased adult children’s feelings of autonomy, competence and connection. In turn, feeling incompetent led to increased reports of feeling depressed and dissatisfied. “These parents have the best intentions,” says Schiffrin. “They are being involved to help their child be successful. But as we know from the previous study, that high level of involvement is stressful for parents and it is not benefiting the kids. It’s actually harming them.”

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 2:28pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>"<span>Go ahead, judge me. It's so freaking economical, though, seriously."</span></p><p><span>. .</span></p>

Oh, I have been known to drink boxed wine.  I used to drink it quite a bit actually.   And I still would ...e xcept that if it's in the house, I drink it. so having that much wine available at the twist of spigot would not be good for my willpower nor my waistline.

however, even when I drank/drink boxed wine, I wont' call it *good*.  Drinkable, enjoyable ... but definitely cheap.   (like Manwich)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 2:25pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">reginageorge2005</em> wrote:</div>  I said that dropping off is normal in MY AREA (that line about it happening during my childhood 10 minutes from where I live now). Which would support our claim that it is, in fact, regional. Can you point out where I clearly said otherwise? </blockquote></p><p>Sure.  Page 42, today.  Your 83rd post.  You clearly said it is not the norm:</p><p>&lt;&lt;I really love how you all completely dismiss what you've been told by ppl who live in the same region whose experiences mirror one another. But since you brought it up, I don't recall any parents sticking around at my bday parties when I was kid, either. <strong>So this whole drop off thing must not be a new phenomenon since it was happening in the 70s and 80s. And I was born and raised 10 minutes from where I live now.</strong>&gt;&gt;</p><p>I think you've run into some confusion. ;)</p>

 

No, I think you have issues with reading comprehension. She clearly says that dropping off is not a new phenomenon.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:39am
My kids got cell phones when the convenience for me outweighed whatever issues I thought might arise by them having one. The youngest ones had one to share, it was the "home phone".
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:32am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Ok, Those wine buckets look kinda fun actually.</p>

I was thinking the same thing, lol...except that the bottles are empty! What gives? ;)

Shaking my head at the things grown women get their panties in a wad about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:30am
Outside of the helicopter issue, I don't think there is anything wrong with parents having lunch with their M/Sers. Our schools here actually encourage it, and the M/Sers seem to enjoy is. There are probably at least two or three parents (a lot of dads) in the lunch room during every lunch hour. There is one parent who is there several times a week....now I think that's overkill, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:14am

I am late to the game, and only about ten posts in, so the subject has probably changed by now.  I have been accused of helicopter parenting, when my kids were little.   I admit, that I hovered a bit.  :)  But, my kids have always had chores, and are responsible for their own school work, and relationships, etc.  We are in the beginning stages of enrolling my oldest into college next year, as a highschool Jr.  One of the things that husband and I have discussed is that said child will be responsible for their own grades, communications, everything except writing those checks.  I would be lying if I said that doesn't bother me a bit, but husband reminded me that our highschoolers are already responsible for all of that.  My kids have been dressing themselves since before they were two, they cook dinner at least once a week since about the age of 12, they do their own laundry starting at about 14, but started helping with the family laundry (and could run the dryer) before they were 6.  I am not a student, I don't do homework, the kids to their own.  They make their own lunches for school, and about half time, they fix their own breakfast.

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