Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
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Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:02pm

Expression of condolences are another case in which a thank you is appropriate. Having said that, it is also one of those occasions in which a bit of grace should be extended to the grieving party. And I've never gotten a thank you for attending a wake. Thank you for flowers, a meal provided, memorial donation made, yes. Writing a thank you for showing up simply is not done around here. 

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:03pm
[Laptop was needed for school--typing reports and doing powerpoint presentations. That started in third grade--pretty sure that's when he got the laptop, ninth bday in 3rd grade. I'd say 90%-95% of his peers have their own laptops. It may not be a need where you are, but it is here. Particularly since my computer is used for school and DH's is used for work. So DS got his own for HIS schoolwork. I'm guessing he'll have tablet by the time he's in high school...although I'll likely just upgrade my own iPad and give him my current one. Again--not necessary, but totally awesome to take notes and infinitely more portable than a laptop. Yeah my younger one does not need a laptop yet. We have a home computer and an ipad he uses and can use my oldest's laptop if needed. [He doesn't need a cell phone next year. He wants one. As I recall, I survived until the ripe old age of 22 or 23 w/o one, so it's not like he couldn't survive without one. But it will make his life easier and make my life easier, so he'll get one. But I don't pretend he needs it. He doesn't. It isn't any more of a necessity than his X Box.] I was 28 when I got my first cell phone lol. I was told that everyone in the 4th grade has one AND they bring it to school. Sorry, not needed IMO and IME and a waste of money. Middle school was when my oldest got one and when we felt the need for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:06pm
Ok, I tried breaking the paragraphs down to being able to read it and it still is not working (and I am on a regular computer not an ipad).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:09pm

Regina-do you ever put your name and address in a book at a wake?

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:09pm

I think strict, conservative and helicopter are three totally different terms and parenting styles. Sometimes they overlap. Sometimes they don't.

My definition of a helicopter parent is one that "hovers" over their children - physically and emotionally.   They rarely let their cihldren out of their phsical presence. They don't let their children have any indpendence or responsibility.  They will do almost anything to remove any obstacle, danger or unpleasantry from their children lives.

Examples:

  • -- A parent of a HS kid that calls the history teacher to demand an explanation of the B on the child's last test grade.
    -- A parent that accompanies their 10yo to a "drop off" birtday party
    -- A parent that refuses to allow their ES child to go on teh field trip because they'd have to ride a bus
  • I am very very far from a helicopter parent.

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:12pm

[quote. He wants one. As I recall, I survived until the ripe old age of 22 or 23 w/o one, so it's not like he couldn't survive without one. But it will make his life easier and make my life easier, so he'll get one. But I don't pretend he needs it. He doesn't. It isn't any more of a necessity than his X Box.</p>[/quote]

LOL. I was 42 when we got our first cell phone one that was shared by the 4 or us still living in the household.  I think I was 44 when I got my own phone but still shared it some with DD3 because she did not have one.  It was not until she got one when she was 16  and I was 46  that I had my own real not shared phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:14pm
I just told my dh today that we all survived without them for so long. Now it feels like you left your arm at home when you forget it. lol.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:17pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
I agree. It is just sad that these kids won't know anything else but computers in the future. The post offices will eventually close. No hand written letters. They have lost how to communicate with the outside world the way we do.

I won't mourn the loss of the post office.   I think there is much more room for "conversation" with the internet, cell phones ,and texting than with letters.  Letters take weeks in order to have a back-and-forth conversation.  With electronic/digital media, it can be done in minutes.   It gives people more time to form bonds, imo.  

I hear sometimes older or more conservative folk kvetching about "how you can talk with strangers on the internets".  In reality, it isn't much different than a pen pal.  And pen pals were something that were highly regarded 40 years ago. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:19pm

BeaArthurisMyReligion wrote:
<p>The best thing my mother did for me was make me make my own phone calls.  If i said "what time is the movie" she say "call the theater and find out" if I said "I wonder if the library has this book" she'd say "call the theater and find out"  When I was graduating from high school (back in the dark ages) I was selected to give a speech and I had recently heard a speech by the mayor contrasting differences between a certain year and the current year and I wanted to structure my speech to contrast differences between the year my classmates and I were born and the year we graduated. my mother said she would not support that until i called the mayor and asked her permission to use the general theme she had used.  The conversation I had with the mayor was one of the best I can remember and I will never forget how supportive she was of me and how impressed she was I had made the call myself.  </p><p>in my line of work we employ alot of college interns and its amazing how paralyzed so many of them are by making a phone call.  no you can not email them , no you can not text them, pick up the phone and call this restaurant and see if they will donate to this event...   the look of terror on their faces is astonishing</p>

 

The Girl used to not want to call anyone about anything, talk to clerks, order her own food, etc.  Having a job in which she interacts with the public has greatly increased her comfort to do those things. She is much more independent in that regard now. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:25pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
I just told my dh today that we all survived without them for so long. Now it feels like you left your arm at home when you forget it. lol.

Yes, that is true but one reason they have become more of necessity is because as more people have them pay phones have almost disapeared. As I stated in my post I shared my phone with my kids, if they went to a football game or a movie  there was no way to call me to be picked up (or in the case of an emergency) because those places no longer had pay phones. 

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