Helicopter Parenting

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
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Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 5:29pm
Wow Greeneyes that is crazy lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 5:26pm
I have seen those pre-printed ones, but I think they are tacky. We sent handwritten personalized notes to everyone who had done something nice for us when my Mom was hospitalized/died. By that I mean things like watching my niece so my sister could be at the hospital, helping with transportation, making phone calls, sending flowers, srnding cards, making donations in my mother's name, etc. We had a thank-you luncheon after the funeral and we also gave away my mother 's bell collection and dozens of framed photographs at the luncheon. Mom had over a thousand bells, most of them gifts from people at the funeral. We made veneer pieces with the bells and pictures of Mom through the years with friends and business associates and asked people to take those home as our "thank you" for supporting us through the process. But I certainly did not feel obligated to send a ersonal thank you note to everyone who had just shown up at the service and luncheon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 5:21pm
Coming in late and hopefully this thread hasn't gone too far off course!! But...a very good example of helicopter parenting, IMO, is a co-worker of mine whose children are now 19 and 17. As long as I've known her, she has called her kids dozens of times between 2 and 5 to remind them to do homework, do whatever chore she needed, take their medicine, feed the dog, etc. etc. The kids started ignoring her calls when they hit high school, which enraged her. A few times a week she leaves work to go see what they are doing. Those poor kids. Several years ago, when the youngest was 13 or 14, she called the nanny (yes, she had a nanny for two teenagers) to remind her that "Joey" and "Susie" needed to take naps. NAPS!!! I can't even. I've met both kids many times. They are both normal, bright teenagers, perfectly capable of remembering to do homework. This woman also micromanages her department, but I won't go into that. What it boils down to is that she is the one with the issues, and I'm not sure if she believes everyone around her is a total dunce or if she is afraid of giving up control for a second. Or if she has memory issues.

Shaking my head at the things grown women get their panties in a wad about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:49pm
http://www.zazzle.com/funeral_sympathy_thank_you_card_cross_dove-137438358320229828 I am pretty sure the funeral home gives them to you in most cases.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:45pm
It is possible Regina it is a regional thing. These are not hand written thank you's. They are pre-printed from the funeral home and then signed from the family on the bottom of the saying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:43pm
Yes, I agree with you Savcal about the cellphones. For us it is middle school when there is no longer bus service for them and they can and will have after school activities and going out with friends more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:42pm
Very true. I could count on my one hand how many pay phones I have seen in the last few years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:41pm
True but many companies will have to "get with the times" then as I still send some bills out in the mail as they don't do it online. I think I would miss the cards though, something that future generations will never know, getting a card in the mail from someone for a bday, holiday, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:40pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
<p>Regina-do you ever put your name and address in a book at a wake?</p>

Every visitation I go to. But I don't recall ever getting a thank you for showing up. Nor would I expect one. And I know I did not write a thank you to every single one of the hundreds of people who showed up when my mother died. I wrote thank yous to the ppl who sent flowers. I wrote thank yous to ppl who made memorial donations. I wrote many thank yous for food and assorted other kindnesses during that time. I did not send every person who attended her wake a thank you note. I'd have been six feet under myself, buried alive in thank you notes.

That may very well be a regional thing, Hazel. It simply isn't done around here. The book is simply a reminder of those who attended. It was tremendously helpful when my mother died b/c my sister was on bedrest and her doctor did not allow her to attend Mom's visitation. So at least she had a record of who was there--I certainly couldn't have remembered everyone.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 4:26pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Regina...same here. No need to have a phone before middle school.

My determination for the purchase of a cell phone is not age or grade level. It is when my kid spends time (more than 10 min or so) outside the presence of an adult-with-phone/radio-access.  So when The Girl, at age 12 started riding the community (not school) bus to her private lesson, she got a cell phone.  When we got rid of our landline, The Boy, at age 11, got a cell phone.  

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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