Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
520
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:22am
Sorry, yes WAHM's and this IS IME and not a general sweeping opinion of every SAHM and WAHM. WOHM's could also do the guilt thing as I have seen that. I feel I don't have that guilt thing as much as other WOHM's.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:21am

Insane.

I keep a close eye on DD's food intake b/c of her allergies. She generally makes her own plate, but I closely supervise. And I nearly killed SIL at Thanksgiving when she made a salad w/the allergen that could kill DD in it. No one at the kid's table got served that salad. Kid's life isn't worth a stupid salad, kwim?

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:20am
Messaging Jam. We used to use ichat at work. It is the same as messaging on facebook.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:19am
True we won't know the effects for many years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:19am
Yes the phone is a hard thing with this generation. My youngest has the hardest time talking on the phone and it just doesn't make sense but then again, they don't use the phone for much anything more now but texting. It bugs us to no end as I want them to be able to communicate in any means. I do tell them to "google" things now though when they ask me things as I want them to know how to figure it out themselves and if can google and then call, that is what they need to do. Google for things is like the phone book when we were kids so I don't see a difference. I also like it for something I am not 100% sure I would tell them about either as in our older ages we don't remember everything. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:19am

Etiquette dictates that thank you notes are only necessary if the gift-giver did not attend the party or see you open the gift. I do not make them send thank yous to everyone that attended a party and watched them open the gift. It's nice, but per Emily Post, it is completely unnecessary to send a thank you note when you've thanked someone in person already. When MIL sends a card w/cash through the mail though? MIL gets a thank you. Or the kids don't get the cash.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:18am

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Yes I feel like I am a bad mom because I am not that mom on top of my kids all the time. We were just at a family dinner the other night and I was basically "told" by another family member to get my child their dinner (buffet style, fill up your plate). Ummm...the child is 9 years old and if the child can fill up their plate at home every night for dinner, why wouldn't they be able to do it outside of my home? [snipped].

I had a similar experience at a family Thanksgiving years ago.  John was 18, which mean he was not just full grown but had graduated high school the year before and in college.  My brother and SIL's kids are 10 and 13 years younger than John, so quite a bit younger and my Mom said something to my SIL about them filling the boys' plates (because they were at another table nearby and the space around the big table with the food was limited).  Once we adults sat and began passing the food, one of my sisters refused to pass any food to John because "I thought the parents were filling plates for their kids."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:15am
I do the thank you notes still too and AFTER the party not at it, as a generic thank you. lol I am actually talking to my oldest right now too on facebook from a sleepover. lol. We message in other rooms too if she wants me to see something online. It still keeps you bonded with your child and to let them know they can tell you anything at any time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:14am

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
It is crazy. I have a friend who is upset that once the kids get to middle school, you can't just drop in and see them or bring them something. Really? Why would you want or need to do that? Maybe it is because she is a SAHM and I am tending to see the SAHM's and WOHM's not being able to let go of their kids as much as the ones who did when their child was an infant or toddler in daycare. It was VERY hard to do that but it showed them some independence and that you don't need mommy every step of the way.

Oh yes, clearly helicopter parenting is limited to those poor SAHMs (and WOHMs? I think you meant WAHMs, so you should probably proofread before you make disparaging, inaccurate, and sweeping generalizations of entire parenting populations) who don't have anything in life but their children. Except that this SAHM sent the kids to preschool at age three, church nursery before that, bible study childcare for both starting around age 2 and a host of othercare situations in which we were separated. And our school doesn't allow "drop in" visits. I enjoy the occasional lunch w/the kids at school, which both love and I've found to be an excellent way to get to know their friends. But that's hardly limited to the SAHMs or WAHMs, I've seen plenty of WOHMs and WOHDs up there lunching w/their kid over the last six years.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 11:13am
Wow is all I can say but that is not the first time I have heard someone say they or their husband does not cook. Don't they get tired of eating out so much? lol

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