Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
520
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:48pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>That's nice, And we have a president in office who will keep things pretty affordable at least until my oldest starts college!  Bless them all. </p>

Then how come I keep reading about state (and private) colleges increasing their tuition?  How is he keeping it pretty affordable while the colleges are raising their tuition?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:50pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Since parties are usually only an hour and a half at that age and many are not close to home, it just makes sense to stay.

Oh, I thought it was about socialization?  If one has to drive 30 or so minutes to/from a party then it would totally make sense to me to stay, not worth driving back and forth.  But those sound like different types of parties than when my kids were little, regional thing I'm sure.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:53pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
It depends on the location of the party and many times the relationship to the parents. The youngest child mostly though more than the teenager unless it is a different circumstance.

I agree, family parties and very close friends are that way with us....but the average kids party, I don't stay.  We just had a small party for my youngest here at home, no parents stayed.  Thank heaven since it was an overnighter!  My birthday boy did all the invites and so forth as well, I was simply the chef and dish washer, lol.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:54pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>I agree Marla, But we live in a messed up world nowadays, Parents taking out parent loans and other things to help their kids through college, Why stop there?  I wonder if Professor's experience with parents was like that when she was in school back in the day...</p>

I think there is a difference between helping a child through college as in financial help and helping a child through college as in talking to the professors on behalf of the child.  Financial help with college isn't heliopter parenting while talking to professors is helicopter parenting.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:58pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
No, we have always been close to our kids parents, especially when they were younger. In daycare we were very close to the parents and still to this day do things with the parents with and without the kids.

Your kids parents or the kids friends parents?   But same for us, we just didn't attend the kids birthday parties because usally they were kids birthday parties and not adult/kid birthday parties.  I don't know if it's because we had other things at those ages (sports, church, school, community, etc) or what, but there hasn't been any connection between birthday parties and socializing with out kids friends parents.  It's pretty standard here for drop off birthday parties, it is not a reflection on the parent at all here.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:59pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>I don't know either, Just an attempt to understand why a parent would want to know everything about the schooling they're paying for too, Add a communication problem b/w parent and child and you've got....  a hot mess</p>

I think that you are blending two different issues. A parent wanting to know every thing about their child's schooling has nothing to do with whether or not they are paying for it.  That is a dynamic that began in that family long before the child was in college.

I am one of those "messed up" parents who took out parent loans for their children's college education.  We did so because during the years DH was active duty Air Force our income was too low for us to save for their education and after he retired our income was too high for them to qualify  for need based help.  We did not have the saving to help but could easily afford the loans (which we paid off last year, yeah).

  Even though were we paying for some of  we never felt the need to know all about their schooling.  I don't think I ever saw one of their report cards.  The only time I heard about a grade was when they discussed it with me which usually meant they were very happy to get the grade and wanted to share it or got a grade lower than they desired and wanted to vent. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 4:59pm
I never said it was all about socialization. Yes, some are more social than others but again, many parents are friends so they don't find the need to either go home or find someplace to waste time for an hour and a half. I don't think it is regional but the entire situation at hand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 5:08pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>I'll take that you disagree with how others tick.  My circle of freinds include SAHMs, WOHMs and dads too, I can appreciate other dynamics b/c I listen to their stories,  My aunt never had time to get bored, She was always running and her husband was a CEO which  meant a lot of weekend commitments, black tie affairs, etc too.  I don't think her house lady lived with them but I do remeber her company at her kids' (my cousins) weddings, She was indeed like part of their family.  My mother was probably that more stereotypical SAHM or what was called housewife back in the day, She was always doing for us and others and instilled in us the value of family and tradition. </p><p>What do happy children look like to you?   </p>

I can't appreciate or see value in a messy house. I just can't. And Rollmops--if having a housekeeper makes you happier, then I'd call that a worthwhile investment. I wouldn't rule one out if I worked...

Jam, happy kids? Depends on the kid. Depends on the culture. I don't think there is some sort of standard recipe that guarantees happy children. Nor do I want my kid to be happy all the time. I think learning to deal with disappointment is a valuable and necessary skill for adulthood.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 5:10pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
I never said it was all about socialization. Yes, some are more social than others but again, many parents are friends so they don't find the need to either go home or find someplace to waste time for an hour and a half. I don't think it is regional but the entire situation at hand.

No you didn't it was all about socialization but you did state that was a reason for the parents staying and implied that to not stay meant one wasn't social and wasn't friends with other parents.  I don't think the two go hand in hand and I do think it's very much regional because if parents stayed at parties for up elementary to teenagers (if they weren't family parties) it would be quite different than the normal of dropping off.  Unless I was officially invited to a childs party outside of the home at a speciality place, I would most likely decline unless the parent needed help with the party, which of course I would glady be of help.  But yea, I would find something else to do during that time as would the majority of parents that I know, so I think regional.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 5:13pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>That's nice, And we have a president in office who will keep things pretty affordable at least until my oldest starts college!  Bless them all. </p>

If you believe that, I've got some oceanfront property to sell you. In the Midwest.

The President does not determine college tuition rates. Surely you know that, right?

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

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