Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
519
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:12pm
If you see someone at many school functions and such and talk to them then most likely you will now them on a personal basis. Unless they are introverted, most people will get personal with you if you see them all the time. Why did you say you have 3-4 closest friends then? It sounds like this is who you mainly see and go out with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:14pm
I think some people are calling people "friends" that I would call acquaintances or just "people I am friendly with." Friends are people I know, trust, and could call at 3 am if I need to. Not just folks whose kids have the same teacher as my kid does.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:20pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
If you see someone at many school functions and such and talk to them then most likely you will now them on a personal basis. Unless they are introverted, most people will get personal with you if you see them all the time. Why did you say you have 3-4 closest friends then? It sounds like this is who you mainly see and go out with.

Your definition of personal differs from mine. 

Do you understad the use of superlatives? If one had 10-20-30 close"est" friends then the "est" is meaningless.  I have 3-4 close"est" friends.   Those are not the only friends I have. Again, the use of superlatives comes into play.

I do mainly go out with my closest friends. That's because they are some of the most important people in my life. Why would I spend more time with people other than my closest friends? 

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:21pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I think some people are calling people "friends" that I would call acquaintances or just "people I am friendly with." Friends are people I know, trust, and could call at 3 am if I need to. Not just folks whose kids have the same teacher as my kid does.

yes, yes and yes.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:23pm
Possibly but I consider a friend someone I spend time with, speak on a regular basis. I have many friends who I could call at 3am or at least I would hope I could as we are all close like that.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:25pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Possibly but I consider a friend someone I spend time with, speak on a regular basis. I have many friends who I could call at 3am or at least I would hope I could as we are all close like that.

Wow. The word friend has a much higher place of honor in my life. There are many, many, many people I spend time with and speak with on a regular basis. Doens't mean they're friends.  I'm "friendly" with a lot of people; doesn't mean they are friends.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:28pm
No, I understand you would spend your time with closest friends but then sometimes doing that maybe you miss out on meeting new friends who could possibly be friends with your old friends. This is how our group is so large and I am very lucky that I can get all different types of people together who I know from different places and they can all get along.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:31pm
I feel the same way. I don't consider some people I speak to on a regular basis a friend either. I do consider my dearest friends the ones I do things with and enjoy speaking in between these events on a regular basis. Ones that do things together year after year. Some I might only see a few times a year. I still consider them friends. I don't consider every person I work with a friend either. I see them and are friendly with them but I don't have a desire to hang out with them after work. Same thing with some of my kids friends parents.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:31pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
No, I understand you would spend your time with closest friends but then sometimes doing that maybe you miss out on meeting new friends who could possibly be friends with your old friends. This is how our group is so large and I am very lucky that I can get all different types of people together who I know from different places and they can all get along.

Nah, I'd rather dedicate my time and energy to those that I truly, truly care about.  Just more meaningful for me.   I want them to feel special, and to feel special in return.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:32pm
I agree, Sav. I spend a lot of time with perfectly pleasant people, but there is no intimacy or vulnerability in our relationship. My friends are those with whom I can open myself up with nearly unreservedly. It takes a long time for an acquaintance to be a true friend. Perhaps this indiscriminate use of the word "friend" explains some of the posts I are where people post about all the crazy, offensive things their "friends" do. My response to those posts is always, "Why do you have such obnoxious friends?"

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