Helicopter Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Helicopter Parenting
520
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 6:56am

In an effort to move on from the other thread, Lol......  What is helicopter parenting IYO?  Do you see it only at school or in other settings as well?  What does it look like?  Provide examples if you can, Thank you. 

 


 


Pages

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:32pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
I feel the same way. I don't consider some people I speak to on a regular basis a friend either. I do consider my dearest friends the ones I do things with and enjoy speaking in between these events on a regular basis. Ones that do things together year after year. Some I might only see a few times a year. I still consider them friends. I don't consider every person I work with a friend either. I see them and are friendly with them but I don't have a desire to hang out with them after work. Same thing with some of my kids friends parents.

Contradict yourself much?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:34pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Yes Chuckie Cheese, Laser Tag, Pet Store, Science, Amusement parks, etc. These last until at least the end of elementary school IME. I understand it is not the same everywhere.

We did those, but mostly early elementary school with the exception of the amusement park.  My older son went to a party there, that one would have bothered me if there was a separation of adults and kids, but I'm thinking larger type amusement park, not local.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:35pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I agree, Sav. I spend a lot of time with perfectly pleasant people, but there is no intimacy or vulnerability in our relationship. My friends are those with whom I can open myself up with nearly unreservedly. It takes a long time for an acquaintance to be a true friend. Perhaps this indiscriminate use of the word "friend" explains some of the posts I are where people post about all the crazy, offensive things their "friends" do. My response to those posts is always, "Why do you have such obnoxious friends?"

Yes. You've stated it very well here.  Particularly the intimacy and vulnerability statement.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:36pm

 

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
lol Jam. I understand things are different all over the place and that is why I said IME and explained why things are done the way they are. Never insisted they didn't work that way anyplace else. lol

I think we are all in agreement that it's a regional thing, not an individual thing...right?  It's simply not the norm around here to go to kids birthday parties much past 1st grade unless their is a specific reason and socialization isn't one of them.  It's clearly a regional thing.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:36pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>It's an individual thing not regional thing. </p>

I disagree, clearly things are done differently in different regions of the country.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:37pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I agree, Sav. I spend a lot of time with perfectly pleasant people, but there is no intimacy or vulnerability in our relationship. 

I will say, however, that there are a few people that I work with or have met in various social circles that I think I could be truly friends with ... but  we've just not had the opportunity to explore that further.  And as much as I might like to pursue it further, my life is rich enough, so I don't feel like I'm missing out. Kwim?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2013
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:39pm
Understood. I truly, truly care for my friends and I know the feeling is returned. I don't think it makes a difference if it is 2 friends or 20. I feel there is always more room in my life for new friends and I try to mix the old and the new friends and luckily it was been a success so far.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:39pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">pumpkinangel</em> wrote:</div>  Your kids parents or the kids friends parents?   But same for us, we just didn't attend the kids birthday parties because usally they were kids birthday parties and not adult/kid birthday parties.  I don't know if it's because we had other things at those ages (sports, church, school, community, etc) or what, but there hasn't been any connection between birthday parties and socializing with out kids friends parents.  It's pretty standard here for drop off birthday parties, it is not a reflection on the parent at all here.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I've dropped off if no parents stay.  I stay (my oldest is in middle school) more often than not because home parties generally have an adult table and buffet.  A different menu/tables for the children's food.  I don't know if it's regional as I don't think I live near Hazeleyes.</p><p>Don't you think the more quality time you spend with the other kids' parents, the better friends you become?</p>

Yes and no.  I agree that more quality time with other kid's parents is good and we become better friends, I just don't think a kids birthday party is the place to spend quality time with other parents.  I think a birthday party for a child is about the child, not an opportunity for me to have social time with other parents.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:40pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
No, Jam it has nothing to do with being helicopter-ish, ever (at least for me and the ones I am close to). It is more about the proximity of home and time of party, etc. Also, most parents know each other and see each other at other parties for years. As they get older, people do leave and come back but usually only ones that have other things they have to run to (maybe for another child) or leave close to the party.

Do you see each other at places other than these birthday parties?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 10:41pm

hazeleyes2013 wrote:
Jam-I think it is a individual thing too and not a regional thing as I have seen parties on TV from other regions of the U.S. and know other people living in other states all over that do parties quite similar to my region.

But you just said that you know people do things differently in other places...now people all over do parties quite similiar to your region?  Why the flip flop?

PumpkinAngel

Pages