How do you deal with rude people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
How do you deal with rude people?
14
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 12:50pm

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 1:36pm
First thing. Never let her know that she's gotten under your skin. After that, I really don't know what to say. Count to 10...call when you can to talk to your dad and avoid the WITCH until someone throws a bucket of water on her.

Not much to go on but I hope this helps.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 2:02pm
Ugh...what an unpleasant situation. I really do not have any suggestions. I am just angry for you. You are dealing with so much and there she is acting childish and playing games. Stupid person. I hate dealing with manipulative people. I can not stand it!

I am sorry.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 2:02pm
You really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You really cant say anything becuase you have a "tense" relationship with your Dad and he has allowed this person in his home and in his life. I would try to communicate more via letters, email, and visits with your Dad. Avoid speaking to her on the phone but continue to be civil to her as long as she is in his life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 5:09pm
Buy your dad a cell phone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 5:17pm
First suggestion - Record some of these phone calls. (please know that I am suggesting this with the assumption that it is not illegal in your state. PLEASE check on this first!)

Second suggestion - Have a little "talk" with the little witch. Explain to her that, while your father is very grown and perfectly capable of deciding who he lets freeload off him, YOU aren't going to sit by and watch her drain him for every penny he's worth. Explain to her that you realize your father and her mother had a very meaningful relationship, but that doesn't make her your father's daughter. He doesn't *owe* her anything. She is grown and needs to get off her lazy *ss and start supporting herself. Get her good and mad. Get her cussing and calling you every name in the book. RECORD THIS AS WELL.

Third suggestion - NOW talk to your dad. With evidence of the phone calls and "talk", where she isn't being the perfect little angel he seems to think she is, explain to him that, while you will love him and support him no matter what, this woman is no good, and she is only using him. Show him that you have his best interests at heart here. Get him to really sit down and THINK about all that he has given these people, and what they have done to prove they'll ever do anything other than take, take,take from him. If he cares to open his eyes, he'll see that he's being taken for a ride, and hopefully put a stop to it before they put him in the poorhouse.

If, after all this, he still sees her as a victim, I guess you could either stop going to his house at all (which I really don't think you want) or stay away while she's there.

I know my suggestions may be a little extreme, but then, I'm the type of person who would've driven over and popped her in the mouth had she hung up on me like that, so... consider the source when considering my suggestions. LOL --->Dawn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 5:28pm
Wonderful suggestion!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 8:36pm

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:29am
I think I'd try this. Its what polite people do.

Her "Hello"

You "Hi, this is Melissa. How are you guys doig?"

Her "Fine"

You "May I speak to my Dad please?"

Her "No he's not here"

You "Any idea when he'll be back"

Her "Nope"

You "Ok, tell him I called. I'll try again later. Thanks".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:27am
That's what I do...I have a similar situation with my stepmother's family. Assuming they let you get past hello, it works. Some days they don't though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:47pm
Well I think the next time you talk to you dad you should ask if she told him you called. IF he says yes, tell him well I am surprised, because she hung up on me. If he says no tell him you didn't think so since she hung up on you. This can open up the conversation of how she has been acting lately with the phone. Hopefully this will lead into a conversation about the situation as awhole. Don't get too emotional or attack her, or at least too much.

Leesa

Leesa

I'll hold my head high
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it Hell
I'll take on t

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