iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 11:55am
I have been lurking here for awhile and I was wodering if anyone here would be able to help. I am a working mom (I have also been a stay at home mom) and I have recently gone back to school. I am doing a paper on work/stay at home debate and I was courious if I asked a few questions/survey if anyone would like to participate? My major field of study is social work. I have posted to other boards so I am not a stranger to the ivillage community.

I will not use your name or personal info in my paper. Anything I use will be more genralized or group linked. My main focus in this paper is to try and better understand why this issue can be such a painful topic for moms to discuss and why we tend to have such strong disagreements on the subject.

Like I mentioned before, I am working but I have also stayed at home with my childern as well, so to choose a side that I most identify with is hard for me because I really see both sides of the coin on this.

To start with:

What is/was your main reason for working/staying at home?

How do you think the other side of the coin feels toward your decision?

If you work, how much do you pay in daycare?

How many children do you have?

What do you think are the disadvantages and advantages to your decision?

Was this a decsion you made on your own or did your spouse have an active role?

If you could switch places with a working/sah mom would you? why or why not?

As a woman, do you think that society just "expects" women to be the caregiver of the family and that is why we are hard on ourselves and eachother?

What do most of your friends do (woh/sah)?

How much of your decision is/was finances driven? How important do you think that is (financially speaking)?

If anyone does not feel comfy posting their responses on the board please email me:

looneymommy3xs@hotmail.com and for the subject put woh/sah debate (this way I will know who you are and you won't be junk email :)

That also goes for anyone who would like to share thought or general comments on the questions I have asked, you can email me as well if you are not comfortable.

I have all my research materials but I thought speaking directly to moms about this would be an added benefit to the paper and will help me better explain our thoughts and emotions. Personally, for me, I would ahve never gone back to work but it was financially necessary (for a time anyway) but having worked in the past also, it was not hard to do. When I have the chance again, I will go back to being a sah mom. I have 3 children and I just make my decisions based on what I think is best at the time. I cannot say that I feel any one side of this is wrong. We all do what we feel is best. I have had days where I thought, "gee I'd love to be at work" and now I pray for the sniffels so I can stay home with them. The hardest part is being stay at home when most of your friends work. Finding that adult contact is important to sanity.

Thanks fo all your help.


mom to ethan 2, breanna 3, and cody 7.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:57pm
I will send you some responses tomorrow via your e-mail. Good luck on the project.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 2:40pm
Are you still looking for information for your paper? Let me know!