I could use some experienced moms help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
I could use some experienced moms help!
91
Sun, 08-22-2010 - 10:49pm

Okay I need help, bad.


Savannah is 2, she will be 3 in November.

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 10:41am
Yes, I just wondered how people actually got the kids to sit, stand, go to another room or whatever. IME, kids do not obey in an anger situation.

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 12:03pm

No they don't. And making them do so just prolongs and escalates the situation and give more attention to the behavior than warranted. Talking to them after wards when everyone has had a chance to calm down about the behavior that led to the time out is important as well. Erica, for a long while, would come down stairs and say "I've stopped crying. Now can I have/do or not do (whatever caused the blow up)?" The answer would still be no and back up stairs she went. Just because she stopped her behavior didn't mean that she could do or not do what caused the behavior in the first place. It's no wonder that Dylan can't get away with anything; I had Erica first.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 12:21pm

We've only recently gotten it to work.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 12:44pm
Right, but how did you get her to go up the stairs again? Did you carry her?

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 12:45pm
Yes, I can see how that might work better.

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:11pm

I told her. If she didn't go back up stairs, I held her hand and took her. That happened maybe once or twice. With her personality, we had to be very rigid in dealing with Erica. No get out jail free card, no warnings, no being merciful this time. Our behavior toward her behavior had to be the same the first time and every time. And that was with every thing--bedtime, meal times, pick up time, when we ran errands, took a nap, had school, etc. Our whole life was on a set schedule that could only be changed for events that happened a few times or only once a year--holidays, birthdays, etc. And those, she knew in advanced. We would talk about them and point them out on the calendar so she wouldn't be blindsided by them. Absolutely no last minute lets go to the park. At least not if I could help it. And when those times did occur, I knew that I would be hear about it the next day through her behavior. And we didn't go anywhere the next day. If something was already planned for the next day, I turned down the spur of the moment event the day before.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:15pm
I am certainly feeling the double whammy!
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:19pm
OK, thanks for explaining. Dd never went willingly, so sending her to room almost always involved carrying her and then holding the door closed (we had no locks).

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:20pm

She mostly does it when my attention is not 100% devoted to her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:21pm
So when I put her into time-out should I not say anything?
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