If you could compare them, whose kids...

Avatar for cmpat
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Registered: 02-21-2003
If you could compare them, whose kids...
43
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 10:03am

If you could compare them, whose kids do you feel are better off (academically):



  • kids of stay-at-home moms
  • kids of working moms
  • no difference


You will be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 5:10pm
I completely agree that the minus side can be cumulative. As for the plus side, I find most of those studies plain silly, to be honest. I do not believe in building genius babies. As far as I see it, the Hippocratic Oath works pretty well for parenting too, first of all try not to do any harm and if something seems broken see if you can fix it.

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
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Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:07pm

I've been a wohm for almost 19 years. I have 3 kids and one sd.

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Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:31pm

Well, Dylan isn't my only high needs, spirited, gifted child. That goes to Erica. Fortunately, my sister had one older than Erica. But without Erica's added problem of bipolar (her manic stage is extreme anger), OCD, and social anxiety. I learned a lot from both of them. And now, both Joy and Erica are reaping the benefits of what I learned. Both of the them have high needs, spirited, sensitive gifted children. We're beginning that it's genetic. And that frightens us.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

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Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 7:35pm

I could not choose one of the 3 answers. While I can't say there is no difference, I also do not think there is a direct relationship between work status and academic performance that would make it possible to choose one work status as being better.

In favor of SAHMs: I think infants, toddlers, and preschoolers learn better with more direct attention and with teaching methods creatively designed for them. I think a SAHM is more likely than a day care worker to come up with ways to teach the ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, animals that her child responds to. Compared to a WOHM, she is going to have more direct, one-on-one interaction with her child on a daily basis during a period when the child is awake, alert, and eager to learn. Also, I think when a mom is home with her kids all day, it is almost impossible not to put some effort into thinking up games and activities for the kids to do (at least, when I was home for several months, either during summers while I was in school, or on maternity leave).

I think school-aged children who are having difficulty or who have unique learning styles or learning styles that are not as conducive to the typical classroom can benefit a great deal from having a parent who is able to be home after school to help with homework, available to meet with the teacher on a frequent basis, or have more free time around the kids' school schedule to help (compared to a WOHM who may have to do cleaning and errands in the evenings).

In favor of WOHMS: I think as a group, there are fewer uneducated WOHMs and more graduate degrees among WOHMs (based on the theory that uneducated mothers are less likely to have the earning potential to cover day care costs, or in the absence of that, the attachment to a career that would motivate them to continue working even if they could not cover day care costs, and that highly educated women are less likely to drop out of the workforce because of student loans or feeling compelled to use the degrees they worked for >4 years for). I do acknowledge that there are many very well educated SAHMs, I am simply hypothesizing. Anyway, higher education levels among mothers are good for the kids' academic potential, I would think.

I think in the older toddler/preschool years, there is value to the day care environment. I have found value in having specialists in early childhood education teaching my children. I have found it useful to have them evaluate my children and tell me where they are ahead or behind. My children seem more motivated to learn things that the other kids in their class know, and when they are moved up by age, that means they are learning from kids who are 6 months to a year older than them. It takes some of it out of my hands. by the time they started the standard preschool stuff, these kids are not learning to sit still, line up, raise their hand, they have those down, they are learning the actual stuff the day care teachers are teaching them (Spanish, reading) at a younger age than many of our similarly aged friends/family.

In the middle school/high school year, I think girls who have mothers who work are less likely to take the MRS degree route. In other words, less likely to blow off studies with the idea that they will not need it after they find a good husband. Though I believe (hope) that this is less true today than it was when I was that age, because most women are having professional careers before they have kids instead of going from high school to motherhood.

Then there is the value of the second income for the particular family. The second income may allow them to live in a better school district, pay for a private school or tutor if there are problems, save for college, provide more financial security, better health care, better nutrition, all of which are tied to better academic outcomes.

So I guess my point is that while I believe work status can have an impact on a particular family based on their individual circumstances, I do not really believe it is possible to make such as a statement as to say children of WOHMs are better off academically.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 7:59pm

i can't tell where your opinion is..do you think cognitive development or delay is connected to a parent's working status?


my child who is on an IEP

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 1:57am

Yay! And a new generation of arguments was born: "I WOH so I have a prayer of winning a couple arguments when they turn 13."

;)

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Kitty

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"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 2:58am
ROFL, exactly, although I never stood much of a chance in that department.

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 9:59am
I don't think children's cognitive development -- especially in the early years -- has anything to do with the parent's work status (and I thought that's what I said). I was a wohm when my kids were little (went to work when they were 8 weeks old), both Andrew and Jenna have high IQs and do well in school -- when they do all their work, LOL!
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Registered: 06-16-2010
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 10:18am

My 6 y/o is a better lawyer than I could ever be. Good thing I didn't waste any money or time

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 10:24am

Yeah, I was quite disillusioned the day I realized why Moms everywhere pull the "Because I said so" card--it's because our only other option is "Oh, yeah?!?"

*facepalm*

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Kitty

Proud member of the Rainbow Poop Debate Squad

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************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .