Invitation Ettiquette - Kids Party

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Invitation Ettiquette - Kids Party
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:10am
For days now, my dd5 has been talking about an upcoming classmate's birthday party.

Last night right before bed, she opens the front pocket of her backpack and whips out an invitation. She's five, when I asked her how long she had had it, she didn't really have an answer. There was a number for an RSVP, which I've already called and left a message for a call back this morning.

The party of course is today at 5 o'clock just down the road from me at a pizza parlour/arcade. The problem is that my dh is working until at least 6, and my SIL, who is weeks away from her due date has been so miserable, I am not even going to ask her to take ds4, even for an hour.

So, I'm left with little options here.

This is dd5's first invite to a school friend's party. Should I just show up without rsvping with an extra child in tow? I'm thinking I could take ds and just sit seperately and order our own little pizza. He's just four though, I have a feeling he will want to intrude on the birthday festivities....


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:21am
I should add too that the only other option is to drop dd5 off for an hour and come back. I'm a little leery of this, although I should not be, as we have been to this particular pizza place tons of times in which dd was very well-behaved at, and also, the child's mother is the classroom's room mother. I've met her at a few things, but didn't really get a chance to really talk to her much, so I have no idea if she would be put out by something like this!
Avatar for jbnick
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:59am
I would try to call the mother a little bit closer to the party and tell her what happened.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:09pm
Now keep in mind that I've only been a mom for less than 2 years and have never thrown a b-day party for children. :)

But if I were the hosting mom, I wouldn't mind it if you came with your ds4. If you just called and told me the situation, I'd probably ask you what would work out better for you -- to come with ds4 or to drop your dd5 off for an hour until your dh got home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:41pm

Parents have called me to rsvp for a party and asked to bring a sibling along due to the same reasons and have asked if I minded that they would be there, they usually stated that they would be


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:58pm

One of my clients threw her dd a party at a pizza/arcade (yucky chucky's) and people brought siblings, they just sat aside from the party.


Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:14pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:43pm
I would take the kids to the party and order separately for the younger one. I sometimes have to have all my kids with me when I take the kids to birthday parties. If the party is something like pizza or an arcade or bowling then I just pay for my other kids to do the activity and/or buy them their own food. It takes some work but the other kids get the ideas about not being part of the birthday party. It will be a PITA at first but if you get them used to the idea they will come to enjoy going places and spending time with you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 5:48am
This happened for one of the kids invited to my DS's party. One of the moms called, said her son wanted to come but she couldn't bring him without lugging her 3 other kids and asked what other classmates would be coming. She worked it out with a mom who was coming anyhow to give her son a ride and keep an eye on him a bit too.

Not all people throwing bday parties for kids this age expect a parent to stay through the whole party, BTW, esp. if the party is in a private room.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 9:25am
I wanted to thank you all for your advice.

I am so glad I just took ds along with us. It was a twin birthday party and each of them only got to invite one friend from school. I could see the relief sweep over mom's face when we walked in the door, the girl's parents were thrilled that we came and were very welcoming to having ds there as well. After my ds had a small 'incident' and a small quiet breakdown, they even offered to bring dd home so she could stay for another hour to make the most of the girl's birthday. (Just a minor incident with ds... someone took his plate for cake and he couldn't handle that... *sigh* .... he clammed right up and put himself to sleep quietly.)

So, as usual, I just stressed over what turned out to be nothing. I just had no idea ya know, as far as I knew I was walking into a birthday party with tons of kids, and I didn't want to be the only *rude* one that showed up without rsvp and an extra kid!