Marriage equality argument

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Marriage equality argument
213
Tue, 03-26-2013 - 8:21pm

So the sole argument against marriage equality is that marriage is for procreation? Where exactly does that leave menopausal women? Or men with ED? Or the infertile? 

I can not believe we are STILL having this discussion in 2013. I have noticed that it is generational though--many of boomers I know are against it. Gen Xers like myself and younger are generally in favor...

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 1:00pm

DH buys family coverage through his work, Yes. We don't prove we are married though, The number of dependents pretty much qualifies that. Uncle Sam could do that too. And if a tax auditor was really concerned whether there were 5 of us here they could knock on our door to check, Big government at work and all.

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 1:00pm
"Do stop cherry picking posts and taking them out of context." ---------- If you are talking to me, I quoted your entire post. Are you now saying that you do NOT see marriage as one of those entitlements empoverishing the federal government?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:58pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>And furthermore, The federal government is already broke and that's b/c too many people take advantage of entitlements!  I hope drastic changes get made by the time my kids are ready to make decisions for themselves, Marriage doesn't need to be one of those entitlements.</p>

What, are you now saying that no one should have the right to get married?  That people getting married is what's breaking the government?  What entitlements should people give up: Social Security?  Veteran's benefits?  Socialized education?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:56pm
Do stop cherry picking posts and taking them out of context.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:54pm

And furthermore, The federal government is already broke and that's b/c too many people take advantage of entitlements!  I hope drastic changes get made by the time my kids are ready to make decisions for themselves, Marriage doesn't need to be one of those entitlements.

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:54pm
"And furthermore, The federal government is broke and a lot of that's b/c too many people take advantage of entitlements. I hope drastic changes get made by the time my kids are ready to start making such decisions for themselves, Marriage doesn't need to be one of those entitlements." ----------------- Jams, I am sorry, but you are not making any sense. How on earth is marriage an "entitlement" that costs the government money? If that were true, then you are guilty of taking advantage of it yourself, and if you had integrity you would hurry up and divorce in order not to burden the government.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:50pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>There are no automatic freebies I get as a married woman! And no, You are wrong that I can walk in to any hospital b/c I'm his next of kin, No more than you would if your dear spouse was dying!</p>

On this one, you are objectively wrong, Jambles.  You are considered your husband's next of kin, and you could be called upon to make life or death decisions for him someday.  If the government did not recognize the "fictive kinship" of marriage (there is no blood relationship, then that right would go to his parents.  Wouldyou want your mother-in-law deciding when to pull the plug on your gravely-ill husband because the state didn't recognize your marriage?

Neither does Katie.

I am assuming that your husband carried you and your children on his health insurance at work.  He has that right because of a little piece of paper issued by the state that says you are married.  Do you really think you deserve that right more than Katie does?

If your husband dies, you have some right to property that you have acquired together just because you are married.  Otherwise, your mother-in-law could swoop in and take what she wants.  Do you think Katie and Kelly shouldn't have that same right to secure tenure of property they've jointly acquired?

I could go on.  And on.  And on.....

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:49pm
Bea, thanks for outlining all that. It is hard for me to understand how Jams could not be aware of all this.
Avatar for BeaArthurisMyReligion
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:48pm

No.. you are wrong... if my wife and I are travelling in a state that doesn't recognize our marriage (which is 41 of them teh last time I checked)... and one of us is ill or in an accident, the hospital staff may not legally recognize us as the next of kin.. period.  and if you want me to trot out stories of friends this has happened to I'd be happy to.   You understand that the federal government does not think i'm married even though I have a legal marriage certificate form the state I live in right?  you do get that right? that every year I have to file my taxes as a single person.. you get that right?

my friend D. is married to her wife A. They have a child that A carried and gave birth to. D adoped their son through costly second parent adoption b/c the federal government doesn't give same sex parents automatic parental rights.   D works in a state that recognizes marriage equaliy. When she files her state taxes there she files married, head of household, one dependent.  When she files her FEDERAL taxes she checks single with no kids b/c the federal government does not recognize her either as being married or a parent.  If you REALLY can't see all that you do "get" by virtue of being in a heterosexual legal marriage ... I .. just.. I just don't know where to go from here.    you say you love me , but you are ok with the fact that I could be barred from my wife's bedside,  that if i were to die she would have no claim on my social security, that anything I left her she'd be taxed on as if I left it to as tranger.. but if your husband died anythign he left you would be consider a gift within a legally recognized marriage.  The laws are not fair Jams.. they hurt families like mine every day.    If you really think that's okey dokey then that makes me terribly terribly sad.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 12:43pm
"There are no automatic freebies I get as a married woman! And no, You are wrong that I can just walk in to any hospital b/c I'm his next of kin, No more than you would if your dear spouse was dying!" ------------- It is not a "freebie" ! And yes, you most certainly can make medical decisions for your spouse if he is incapacitated, and you most certainly can inherit him without onerous taxes etc, etc, etc Surely you know that, no?

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