Moms who know better than you

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:55pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswiffeelee</em> wrote:</div>I think kids remember both but it is usually the things out of their ordinary day that kids enjoy that they remember the most and ask to do again and again. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I don't know that I agree.  I do think that kids will remember the out of the ordinary. I do think they'll remember the expensive.  But I also think that often times - maybe even more often - the things that are the really meaningful, long lasting memories are the everyday things.</p><p>For instance, one of my fondest memories of my dad and me is that I used to pretend to fall asleep on the floor in the living room so that he'd carry me upstairs to bed.  I loved the feel of being all sleepy in his arms.  (I later found out he always knew I was faking ... but he enjoyed it too, so he played along.)  Another great memory (which happened quite often) is of my parents sitting around the fireplace singing and playing guitars.   And of my dad asking "Quick! Who is this?" everytime a Moody Blues song came on the radio.  And of my mom singing the absurdly wrong lyrics to so many songs. </p><p>I remember our Disney trip. Sure.  But I remember those things above much more often and much more fondly.</p>

You're mistaken if you think young kids know or even care if a trip to Disney costs money.  There must be some reason so many people spend the money to go to Disney every year.  You might be, but I don't think you are the only smart person in the entire world.  We all have fond memories of our parents and childhood.  But at some point, the family going to church FREE every weekend gets a little dry.

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Registered: 07-09-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:56pm
In my family, everyone does everything together all the time and it is TOTALLY free when we do it.

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Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:56pm

1. I didn't say you said they all did.

But you said I thought they did.

2. You haven't been able to give any examples of where they didn't.

I did, go back and re-read and then you can show PKA too as she can't find them.

3. You've disagreed with all examples anyone else has given.

No, I disagreed that they were all TOTALLY free.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:58pm

Such a shame that you can't experience a little discomfort so that your kids can enjoy making memories in the snow with you.  I'd think a parent should sacrifice at least that much. 

Why? People are different. I am sure you would not sacrifice some of the things I do for my kids also. 

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Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:59pm

Because the freebies which do involve the whole family sure do dry up by the time kids are tweens

Very true.

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Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 3:59pm

<<Not really, I enjoy walking around my neighborhood. There are trees there and I get to look at everyone's homes.>.

 Couldn't you do that with your kids and/or dh and make memories?

Ummm...I do. lol.

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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 4:00pm

<<You're mistaken if you think young kids know or even care if a trip to Disney costs money.>>

I didn't make any statement about whether or not young kids care or know if Disney costs money. So there's nothing for me to be mistaken about.

<<There must be some reason so many people spend the money to go to Disney every year.>>

Because they want to and because they enjoy it, I presume.  Which is, of course,  not incongruous with anything I've said.

<<But at some point, the family going to church FREE every weekend gets a little dry.>>

Going to church isn't something I particularly remember from childhood.  And since my family doesn't go to church, your comments are a bit misplaced (if they are directed to me.)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 4:02pm

Going to church isn't something I particularly remember from childhood.  And since my family doesn't go to church, your comments are a bit misplaced (if they are directed to me.)

I do because it was something we HAD to do. It was "free" (in the sense) and it was a memory but not something that I would say I enjoyed doing every.single.week.

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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 4:03pm

<<But you said I thought they did.>>

 

Your words indicate that you think so. But you didn't actually say so. I'm inferring.

 

<<I did, go back and re-read and then you can show PKA too as she can't find them.>>

 

I dont' remember them either - but I might go back and look later.

 

<<No, I disagreed that they were all TOTALLY free.>>

How can you disagree with something I never said and never implied.  There is no way you can logically infer that from my posts either, because I've repeatedly mentioned cheap ones, and I've repeatedly acknowledged that there are things that cost money. Even memory-making, enjoyable things that cost money.

 

My point has ALWAYS been that there are multiple opportunities for free activities that one could do with family.   (note the general use of the noun "one".)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 4:04pm

mortyswiffeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Homecoming to watch hours of football (none of my kids are even allowed to play that inherently dangerous sport) which my kids do not enjoy watching, just so DH could enjoy watching a game and so we could spend 18 minutes watching the oldest kid play in the marching band is neither fun nor a bonding family experience.  And as I've said, as a taxpayer, it's certainly not free!!</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Well I have to disagree with you there with the hours of watching football and I don't even have a kid on the team lol. This is something my ds and I enjoy to do together. My dd would rather go to hang out with her friends or talk (which is a big NO NO for me when I watch football lol). BUT....even though our games are free to go to, there is still things I spend money on. Is this a memory for my ds and I, yes. Is it a TOTALLY free memory, nope as well as many other things we do together. </span></strong></p>

Ermahgerd.  My children hanging out with tweens costs money too!  Obviously, Halloween.  'Nuf said.  But recently a half day from school meant I had a car full of children and I sure wasn't going to try to decipher what kind of lunches each would want.  So, off to the local burger place.  THAT was a lot of money by the standards of people who think everything can be gotten free!  Home to my house, our tennis court, our trampoline, other "toys."  I know some day their pals' moms will do the same (as they've done in the past too). 

But really, to have a gaggle of kids over to our house on a half day for cheese sandwiches, no snacks and playing cards for FREE??  Not gonna happen!

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