Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:33pm
"It might sell but for much less than you COULD get for it. Do you know how much your house is worth right now?" I've got a pretty good idea. It's not something I think about on a daily basis. It's irrelevant. Our house is nowhere near our largest investment.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:37pm

Sure it's funny, we're at that point about my dad's house..  He did manage to invest about thirty grand a couple years ago for a composition roof but the interior is very very dated, Lol.  Is it worth the expense or do we just place it out there and hope for the best kind of return (rhetorical)......  Generally an updated house is more sellable than one that's not bord. 

 

 

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:42pm

One must also consider the balance between the size of the mortgage and the increased value due to renovations. There is something to be said for a structurally sound house in good condition that is fully paid for vs a completely updated, modernized house that's mortgaged to the hilt. (Of course there is a lot of gray in between)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:49pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Sure it's funny, we're at that point about my dad's house..  He did manage to invest about thirty grand a couple years ago for a composition roof but the interior is very very dated, Lol.  Is it worth the expense or do we just place it out there and hope for the best kind of return (rhetorical)......  Generally an updated house is more sellable than one that's not bord. </p>

So true.  Someone can roll the dice.  But for the last few years, it's been a real Buyers' market so I'd rather not risk it for the sake of my kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:52pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswifeelee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Some just find peace and move on....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;<strong>You just don't get it and I understand. Many don't.</strong>&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I believe she fully understands but imagines we're supposed to forget what she said about her own family and acquaintances here years ago.  </p>

Well no, but I would hope you would remember it honestly and not in the createive fictional spin you like to put on most things.  I never said my family was perfect, far from it actually....is honesty really too much to ask for?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:55pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswifeelee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;blockquote&gt;Why would you be JUST content with things? Don't you ever want MORE and try to ACHIEVE that in your life?&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;But why do you think that equals a nicer kitchen?  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:small"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;That is ONE of the things as she has indicated it could use an upgrade. It sounds like she has thought about it before.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Yep, Bord did mention her kitchen needed an upgrade.  That to me sends off warning bells because I need my homes to be sale-ready when the time comes.  I am not going to delay structural and superficial necessary upgrades until the days before I list one of my homes.  That would be ridiculous and unduly expensive. </p><p>Now if she doesn't have the money, that's another story entirely.</p>

What's going on in your life that you need a house to be sell ready and as you said earlier, at a moments notice?  I can't imagine living on the edge like that, do the kids know what they might have to move at a moments notice?  How scary, hope everything is okay!

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:56pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I didn't go back to school for my doctorate to make more money. I did it to be able to have a life that I enjoy. And I do enjoy my life. Goal attained. I'm working on another advanced degree for no reason other than the sheer joy it brings.

I don't see the advantage of a dilettante getting a second degree so late in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:58pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswifeelee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Maybe, but it also depends on what one's assets are, shouldn't tie up all of your funds into one asset, in this case a house.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Please explain.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;<strong>There is absolutely no way that I would tear up my 100 year old wood floors to put in pergo or even "new" wood floor, because well the quality isn't the same.  </strong>I remember when someone wanted us to put siding on our house, I laughed the guy right out of my front yard...who would do such a thing to an older house, lol.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;It all depends as I agree with the floors as I have all original hardwood floors. We did update the windows and siding and it has been very energy efficient for us so it was totalling worth it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>OMG, whoever said that about 100 year-old hardwoods is seriously deluded!  Lots of old hardwood flooring is nowhere near as nice as some of the stuff on the market today.  If we had taken that attitude with our over 100 year-old house (3 floors of some of the most gorgeous hardwood), I bet we wouldn't have replaced entire rooms with hardwood, rebuilt chimneys, pointed, and installed our solar panels.  It's like pretending that no one over the course of the 100+ years made changes, lol!</p>

You took out your original hardwood floors?  Yikes, how bad of shape were they in to replace them with new ones?  I'm so sorry, what a loss for the home.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:58pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
There's a whole lot of value in replacing laminate with granite... Not just for looks either.

I agree.  The difficulty cleaning alone, no fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 9:58pm
"Generally an updated house is more sellable than one that's not bord." Yeah, if I'm ever gonna sell the house, I'll be sure to upgrade if it needs it in the three-five years before we decide to sell.

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