Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:09pm

bordwithyou wrote:
"I don't see the advantage of a dilettante getting a second degree so late in life." The advantage is that I am having fun, learning new things, challenging myself. If it weren't fun, I wouldn't be doing it.

Now that's selfish!  In that case, I'd be ensuring my kids actually went to college.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:11pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;savcal2011&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;  It's normal to find out about the age of appliances and major structures in a house, and of any major renovations, but cosmetic changes? No. &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&lt;span style="text-decoration:underline; font-size:medium"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I've never understood the whole "buy a house and gut it (or even just one area, such as the kitchen) down to the studs" thing.  If the house I buy isn't livable, as is, when I buy it, I'm not buyinig it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That's **exactly** what I've been saying about parents who leave a house to their children in their will.  No one's going to buy a dump.  So, just do the repairs and actually gift something.  I don't understand why boardies here want to leave their kids with an unsellable mess to clean up.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Unsellable mess makes me laugh, but good point. </p><p> </p><p> </p>

Yea jams, I was laughing too...I love thardy's fiction, I'm telling you...she should write a book!  You guys rock in the fiction department!

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:11pm
"I'm still leaning towards poured concrete and a mix of mediums, perhaps stainless or soapstone?" That is my issue with granite. It's OK, but everybody and her sister has granite. I want something less generic. That's why I am thinking copper.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:13pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">chestnuthooligan</em> wrote:</div>&lt;&gt;My father paid 5K for his current home. It's not updated at all. It is worth 500K as a possible teardown as its beachfront. He has a kitchen that works for him. It's his choice and I don't care.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>What an ungrateful wretch to leave you with such a mess! </p>

He can always donate his house to charity.

But through intestacy if no will, the children would have to handle any mess (not that his house is a mess since it's marketable.)  Or the bank/town can sell it at public auction after the necessary paperwork and time limitations pass. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:13pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Sure it's funny, we're at that point about my dad's house..  He did manage to invest about thirty grand a couple years ago for a composition roof but the interior is very very dated, Lol.  Is it worth the expense or do we just place it out there and hope for the best kind of return (rhetorical)......  Generally an updated house is more sellable than one that's not bord. </p>

Well according to thardy and morty, if he doesn't...he isn't taking care of you and your siblings needs.  Perhaps you should respond to some of those posts? No?  Didn't think so.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:15pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Sure it's funny, we're at that point about my dad's house..  He did manage to invest about thirty grand a couple years ago for a composition roof but the interior is very very dated, Lol.  Is it worth the expense or do we just place it out there and hope for the best kind of return (rhetorical)......  <strong>Generally an updated house is more sellable than one that's not bord</strong>. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>So true.  Someone can roll the dice.  But for the last few years, it's been a real Buyers' market so I'd rather not risk it for the sake of my kids.</p>

You know, if I had to live on the edge as you described instead of being comfortable and relaxed in one's home...I can see that.  I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through rough times, thardy.  I wouldn't wish your experiences as described on anyone, that is tough, never knowing if and when one is going to have to move at a moments notice.  Tough times thardy, I'm sorry.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:16pm

I am not seeing why if someone inherits a house it makes any difference how much it sells for.  Whatever it sells for is a profit for them.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:17pm

Well, you know what they say about mortgage brokers...  But I hear you, you are in the drivers seat with cash - my sister about gave her house away when the seller offered her cash for it, and she had done an incredible amount of updates to it in the almost 20 years they lvied there.  Likewise, our house in Texas that we sold to a buyer that offerd us 250K in cash several years ago..  You shoppers scare me, Lol but I hand it to you in saving and spending wisely.     

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:17pm

bordwithyou wrote:
"I don't see the advantage of a dilettante getting a second degree so late in life." The advantage is that I am having fun, learning new things, challenging myself. If it weren't fun, I wouldn't be doing it.

Some people don't understand that there are different types of fun bord...

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:17pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;chestnuthooligan&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;&amp;gt;My father paid 5K for his current home. It's not updated at all. It is worth 500K as a possible teardown as its beachfront. He has a kitchen that works for him. It's his choice and I don't care.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What an ungrateful wretch to leave you with such a mess! &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>He can always donate his house to charity.</p><p>But through intestacy if no will, the children would have to handle any mess (not that his house is a mess since it's marketable.)  Or the bank/town can sell it at public auction after the necessary paperwork and time limitations pass.  </p>

Huh?  My father has a will

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