Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:31pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Well, you know what they say about mortgage brokers...  But I hear you, you are in the drivers seat with cash - my sister about gave her house away when the seller offered her cash for it, and she had done an incredible amount of updates to it in the almost 20 years they lvied there.  Likewise, our house in Texas that we sold to a buyer that offerd us 250K in cash several years ago..  You shoppers scare me, Lol but I hand it to you in saving and spending wisely.     </p><p> </p>

Cash is always good!  Congratulations on selling your house. 

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:34pm

I'd love to have a butcherblock countertop.  But it creates a huge maintenance and cleanliness issue.

For now, until we have the funds to really do it right, we're looking at painting the current laminate countertops.  It would provide an inexpensive short-term facelift. 

And, again, I love the look of tile. Something like these would work well in the overall feel of our house.

 

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:34pm

chestnuthooligan wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;savcal2011&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;div class="quote-author"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;em class="placeholder"&amp;gt;chestnuthooligan&amp;lt;/em&amp;gt; wrote:&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;&amp;amp;gt;My father paid 5K for his current home. It's not updated at all. It is worth 500K as a possible teardown as its beachfront. He has a kitchen that works for him. It's his choice and I don't care.&amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;lt;/blockquote&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;What an ungrateful wretch to leave you with such a mess! &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;He can always donate his house to charity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But through intestacy if no will, the children would have to handle any mess (not that his house is a mess since it's marketable.)  Or the bank/town can sell it at public auction after the necessary paperwork and time limitations pass.  &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Huh?  My father has a will</p>

I'm sorry, but what are you asking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:34pm
"Given that we've grown up in the house my dad still owns I'd hate to see it just torn down... 500K for a teardown?" My mother's house in California is the same way. She paid 13K for it. It's nothing special. The land it's on is worth ten times more than the house. Right now one of my sisters has it rented out to a guy who does routine maintenance but it's not worth putting any upgrades into. Whoever buys it is going to tear it down and put in a McMansion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:35pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>"I'm still leaning towards poured concrete and a mix of mediums, perhaps stainless or soapstone?" That is my issue with granite. It's OK, but everybody and her sister has granite. I want something less generic. That's why I am thinking copper.</blockquote></p><p>Ick.  Poured concrete countertops probably just mean support beams would be needed in the floor below.</p>

Not really, granite and concrete counter tops weigh about the same.

I'm not crazy about PW but she does a good comparasion on many countertops choices.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeandgarden/2009/03/countertops-a-comparison/

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:36pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>"I'm still leaning towards poured concrete and a mix of mediums, perhaps stainless or soapstone?" That is my issue with granite. It's OK, but everybody and her sister has granite. I want something less generic. That's why I am thinking copper.</blockquote></p><p>That's the first I've ever heard granite referred to as "generic", Lol.  There are more expensive rock patterns over others but generic sounds stale to me, like laminate. </p>

its just really overdone I think.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:37pm

bordwithyou wrote:
<p>How is getting a degree for fun more selfish than going on cruises, which is something you recommended that I do for fun, Thardy?</p>

I didn't recommend you go on cruises.  I don't, so why should you get to?  I said it would be selfish for me to pursue another advanced degree when my children were in need of direction with their own college careers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:38pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
Given that we've grown up in the house my dad still owns I'd hate to see it just torn down... 500K for a teardown?

I'm with you on the house I grew up in, my parents are still there and I would hate to see it gutted or torn down.  I like the changes they have made over the years but I could easily see someone wanting to come in and toss the wood floors and butcher block counter tops for granite and "new" wood floors.  Heartbreaking to say the least, I get that.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:39pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">emptynester2009</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium"&gt;I am not seeing why if someone inherits a house it makes any difference how much it sells for.  Whatever it sells for is a profit for them. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Not always.  A house can be a loss to an estate.  For instance, it's underwater because of the market.  Also, it's been a Buyers' market for years, there's a broker's commission, there are real estate taxes to be paid until the will is probated, a willing buyer found, negotiations, inspection, a closing held, etc.</p><p>No one here said a surviving spouse <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em>has</em></span> to gift her children her house.  But we were discussing that if she does, there are ways of doing it right, without an estate taking a loss.</p>

I'm thinking of my parents house and they also paid very little for the house numerous years ago and it's worth much more, but I really can't see that those are unusal costs to selling a home.  

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:40pm
When I moved back to Oklahoma, the house I grew up in (well, one of them - from when I was about 2 to 9) was for sale. And within my price range. If I'd landed a job in that town (it was one of the towns I was jobhunting in) I would have seriously considered buying it.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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