Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:42pm
And how would my not taking classes help my children decide what classes to take or whether to take them at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:43pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p>I'd love to have a butcherblock countertop.  But it creates a huge maintenance and cleanliness issue.</p><p>For now, until we have the funds to really do it right, we're looking at painting the current laminate countertops.  It would provide an inexpensive short-term facelift. </p><p>And, again, I love the look of tile. Something like these would work well in the overall feel of our house.</p><p> </p><p><img width="620" height="465" src="http://www.highlandsranchtile.com/tile_countertops_denver_co_installer.jpg" /></p><p><img width="506" height="256" src="http://www.sharp-floors.com/uploads/images/kitchen-tile-countertop.jpg" /></p><p> </p><p><img width="600" height="400" src="http://www.boyertile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/kitchen-counter012.jpg" /></p>

Pretty.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:47pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">emptynester2009</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium"&gt;I am not seeing why if someone inherits a house it makes any difference how much it sells for.  Whatever it sells for is a profit for them. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Not always.  A house can be a loss to an estate.  For instance, it's underwater because of the market.  Also, it's been a Buyers' market for years, there's a broker's commission, there are real estate taxes to be paid until the will is probated, a willing buyer found, negotiations, inspection, a closing held, etc.</p><p>No one here said a surviving spouse <span style="text-decoration:underline"><em>has</em></span> to gift her children her house.  But we were discussing that if she does, there are ways of doing it right, without an estate taking a loss.</p>

I worded that wrong,   I should have said  any profit is a profit for them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:49pm

bordwithyou wrote:
And how would my not taking classes help my children decide what classes to take or whether to take them at all?

A full-time job and pursuing a second advanced degree are too time consuming when your sons are at a time in their lives when they need guidance about college.  You of all people have invaluable expertise in that area, I think you could take off a year or two until they find the right college paths for themselves. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:51pm

emptynester2009 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;emptynester2009&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium"&amp;gt;I am not seeing why if someone inherits a house it makes any difference how much it sells for.  Whatever it sells for is a profit for them. &amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not always.  A house can be a loss to an estate.  For instance, it's underwater because of the market.  Also, it's been a Buyers' market for years, there's a broker's commission, there are real estate taxes to be paid until the will is probated, a willing buyer found, negotiations, inspection, a closing held, etc.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;No one here said a surviving spouse &lt;span style="text-decoration:underline"&gt;&lt;em&gt;has&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt; to gift her children her house.  But we were discussing that if she does, there are ways of doing it right, without an estate taking a loss.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p><span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium">I worded that wrong,   I should have said  any profit is a profit for them. </span></p>

Oh.  That's true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 10:58pm
I'm taking one or two classes a year. I'm not reading more than I would normally read, or writing more than I would normally write, it's just more directed and for a different purpose. I need thirty units for this new MA and I have completed 12, with 3 in progress. I'm in no hurry. The kids are all right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 11:14pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I'm taking one or two classes a year. I'm not reading more than I would normally read, or writing more than I would normally write, it's just more directed and for a different purpose. I need thirty units for this new MA and I have completed 12, with 3 in progress. I'm in no hurry. The kids are all right.

Obviously your choice.  I couldn't do it with children your sons' ages.  Nor would I get an advanced degree for fun so late in life.

And it kind of debunks your whole theory that Morty was the one frivolous with her money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 11:30pm
I didn't say Morty was frivolous with her money. I said that I'd pay outstanding bills (like a mortgage) with "extra" money before I'd spend it on stuff I hadn't planned on buying, which is part of our different philosophies about money. I was very careful with money for many years. Now we are fortunately in a position where we are able to spend money just for fun on things we want to do, and I am enjoying doing that. If getting another degree would not be fun or profitable for you, then I can see why you would not do it. But there are a lot of people far older than I, who decide in their 60s or 70s to go back and get the degree they always wanted vs the one they thought they should get for practical reasons. And more power to them!
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:12am
So what's the difference b/w you spending money to go to school for fun and morty spending money on a cruise for fun?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:14am
"So what's the difference b/w you spending money to go to school for fun and morty spending money on a cruise for fun?" I didn't say there was one.

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