Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:18am
I'm not looking at my dad's house as what is in it for me, We've been talking about putting it on the market for several years and I hope somebody can see the value in it like there once was when we lived there. It needs updating, I don't think it should be sold as just a dump emptynester.

 


 


Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:22am

I digress.  I thought there was something different about how you saved and spent, Your spending really isn't that different after all. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:26am
What I said earlier was in the context if getting a bonus or a gift of extra money you weren't expecting. I would put that extra money toward paying down bills. Morty said she would buy something she wanted but didn't need with it, or put it in savings. I don't have any bills to pay down anymore, our savings goals are all met (although we continue to save and invest about 20% of our income), and so now we have more money to "play" with. This is what we worked for for thirt years in my case and forty in my husband's case, so yeah, we're enjoying it.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:33am
Those tile countertops are pretty in look but they'd be tough to maintain to me, gunk in that grout all the time, bleh. We actually had tile counters when we lived in Indy, they were blue and so were the cabinets, Lol. I think that's the only time I had a "blue" kitchen.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 8:41am
I agree about time and grout maintenance. One of the things on my "to-do" list this summer is regrouping the tile in our bathroom. The tile was out up 30 years ago and still looks god, but it's definitely time to regrout. The tile is a warm light brown and I am thinking of using chocolate brown grout this time. I'm tired of bleaching white grout.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:38am

"I didn't say Morty was frivolous with her money. I said that I'd pay outstanding bills (like a mortgage) with "extra" money before I'd spend it on stuff I hadn't planned on buying, which is part of our different philosophies about money. I was very careful with money for many years. Now we are fortunately in a position where we are able to spend money just for fun on things we want to do, and I am enjoying doing that." 

That's great. Glad I didn't have to wait as long as you did to do that though. That is why I believe in saving and spending so I can enjoy my life at the same time. You never know how long you will live.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:40am
1). I have never not enjoyed my life. Luckily, I don't need a lot of "things" to be happy. 2). Please edit your post to remove my first name. I don't use it on this board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:42am

<<Where did I say anything about paint colors? I am talking about major renovations.>>

I'm not and haven't ever been and explained that to you more than once...we haven't had to do any major remodels in my home, it's sound and only cosmetic changes, very similar to what bord was talking about in her kitchen.  You are comparing your need to have major remodels, down to gutting rooms to a cosmetic changes.  Apples to oranges morty.

Changing out appliances are not remodels? Didn't you just say you have done this in the other thread? 

<<They didn't have the money when they lived in the house to do so.>>

So they put you in a bind when you were young, bummer.

No, as we bought the house when I was about the age of Bord's older child.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:43am

1). I have never not enjoyed my life. Luckily, I don't need a lot of "things" to be happy.

I don't consider vacation a "thing". It is an experience and I wouldn't give back those memories to pay more to my mortgage or have money in the bank for ANYTHING.

2). Please edit your post to remove my first name. I don't use it on this board.

Sorry, I didn't even realize I did that. Fixed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:49am

I wasn't suggesting anyone give up vacations in order to pay extra on a mortgage. We were talking about unexpected money in the form of bonuses, gifts, etc. if I had already budgeted for a vacation and my parents surprised me with five hundred bucks to pay for airfare or whatever, I would put that the five hundred I had already budgeted toward bills, and thank my parents profusely. That is how we paid a ten year mortgage off in three years.

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