Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:51am
"Sorry, I didn't even realize I did that." No problem. It's easy to do something like that inadvertently. Thanks for fixing it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:53am

I wasn't suggesting anyone give up vacations in order to pay extra on a mortgage. We were talking about unexpected money in the form of bonuses, gifts, etc. if I had already budgeted for a vacation and my parents surprised me with five hundred bucks to pay for airfare or whatever, I would put that the five hunted I had already budgeted toward bills, and thank my parents profusely. That is how we paid a ten year mortgage off in three years.

That is great. I don't mind having a mortgage as it is good for us at tax time (NO, I am NOT going to get into THAT discussion lol). Again, our habits are different as you would rather save then have a balance of spending and saving. If I only saved, I would not be able to have the memories I have and I think that is more important than having a ton of money in the bank just sitting there. IMO life is about making memories and looking at a bank account is not something I would consider making a memory for myself, my family and my friends. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:54am

"Sorry, I didn't even realize I did that." No problem. It's easy to do something like that inadvertently. Thanks for fixing it

No problem. I wouldn't do that on purpose as I wouldn't want it done to me Laughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 9:59am
I don't think you have to spend a lot of money to "make memories." We've been all over the world with our kids and done lots of unique, fun, incredible things, but lots of our memories revolve around very simple things we've done together. We've always aimed for a balance between spending and saving too, although I suspect our definition of "balance" is different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:05am

I don't think you have to spend a lot of money to "make memories." We've been all over the world with our kids and done lots of unique, fun, incredible things, but lots of our memories revolve around very simple things we've done together. We've always aimed for a balance between spending and saving too, although I suspect our definition of "balance" is different.

I agree that you don't have to spend a lot of money to make memories but mostly everything takes money. I still will stand behind the idea that it IS just money and it comes and goes but memories last forever. My mortgage WILL be paid off someday, I am not worrying about that now. I have emergency savings, savings, retirement savings, pay all my bills on time, etc, etc. Everything works out and not sure what you consider "balance" when you prefer to only save. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:10am
I don't, and never have, preferred to "only save." That is something you made up in your head years ago and have continued to believe, even though it is both false and illogical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:19am

You just explained in this thread a few times that you would rather take any extra money that you might received from any source to pay a bill or extra to a bill. I don't remember hearing you say you would go and make a memory with that money. 

It has always been that you would either save the money or pay a bill. If I am wrong, please explain. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:31am
We have always budgeted money for fun and entertainment and travel. It's just that when we get extra money, our first thought is paying down bills or meeting savings goals rather than how to spend it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:56am

[quote=thardy2001]<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>I'm taking one or two classes a year. I'm not reading more than I would normally read, or writing more than I would normally write, it's just more directed and for a different purpose. I need thirty units for this new MA and I have completed 12, with 3 in progress. I'm in no hurry. The kids are all right.</blockquote></p><p>Obviously your choice.  I couldn't do it with children your sons' ages.  Nor would I get an advanced degree for fun so late in life.</p><p>And it kind of d

I'm curious thardy, you have been very supportive of Jam's going back to school for a degree, why aren't you supportive of bord as well?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 10:57am

jamblessedthree wrote:
I'm not looking at my dad's house as what is in it for me, We've been talking about putting it on the market for several years and I hope somebody can see the value in it like there once was when we lived there. It needs updating, I don't think it should be sold as just a dump emptynester.

I totally agree with the first part, unlike Morty...I don't see my parent's house as in what is in it for me and I hope my children see whatever house we have at that point in time the same way.  

PumpkinAngel

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