Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:01am

mortyswifilee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">"I didn't say Morty was frivolous with her money. I said that I'd pay outstanding bills (like a mortgage) with "extra" money before I'd spend it on stuff I hadn't planned on buying, which is part of our different philosophies about money. I was very careful with money for many years. <strong>Now we are fortunately in a position where we are able to spend money just for fun on things we want to do, and I am enjoying doing that." </strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>That's great. Glad I didn't have to wait as long as you did to do that though. That is why I believe in saving and spending so I can enjoy my life at the same time. You never know how long you will live.</strong></span></p>

Why do you equate spending money with enjoying life?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:06am

<<Changing out appliances are not remodels? Didn't you just say you have done this in the other thread? >>

I don't think so, it's not super complex or anything.  Now if I was moving it from one space in the kitchen to another and had to change the counter top or changing fron electric to gas and so forth...perhaps but taking out an old applicance and putting in a new one is not something I would consider a remodel, more of a replacement.  When we replaced the frig a couple of years ago, it took me longer to research and decide exactly what I wanted than it did to install the thing.  

<<No, as we bought the house when I was about the age of Bord's older child.>>

So how is it that when you bought the house with an undated kitchen at that age it wasn't a burden but if Bord doesn't update the kitchen at the same kid age, it is a burden?  


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:08am

mortyswifilee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I wasn't suggesting anyone give up vacations in order to pay extra on a mortgage. We were talking about unexpected money in the form of bonuses, gifts, etc. if I had already budgeted for a vacation and my parents surprised me with five hundred bucks to pay for airfare or whatever, I would put that the five hunted I had already budgeted toward bills, and thank my parents profusely. That is how we paid a ten year mortgage off in three years.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That is great. I don't mind having a mortgage as it is good for us at tax time (NO, I am NOT going to get into THAT discussion lol). Again, our habits are different as you would rather save then have a balance of spending and saving. If I only saved, I would not be able to have the memories I have and I think that is more important than having a ton of money in the bank just sitting there. IMO life is about making memories and looking at a bank account is not something I would consider making a memory for myself, my family and my friends. </span></strong></p>

Why are you memories tied to spending money?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:20am

I totally agree with the first part, unlike Morty...I don't see my parent's house as in what is in it for me and I hope my children see whatever house we have at that point in time the same way.  

Wow, that is a really horrible thing to say. I never spoke ONCE about my parents house at.all. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:25am

Why do you equate spending money with enjoying life?

You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:28am

<<Changing out appliances are not remodels? Didn't you just say you have done this in the other thread? >>

I don't think so, it's not super complex or anything.  Now if I was moving it from one space in the kitchen to another and had to change the counter top or changing fron electric to gas and so forth...perhaps but taking out an old applicance and putting in a new one is not something I would consider a remodel, more of a replacement.  When we replaced the frig a couple of years ago, it took me longer to research and decide exactly what I wanted than it did to install the thing.  

Gotcha

<<No, as we bought the house when I was about the age of Bord's older child.>>

So how is it that when you bought the house with an undated kitchen at that age it wasn't a burden but if Bord doesn't update the kitchen at the same kid age, it is a burden?  

It wasn't a burden (I don't think I used that word) to me but it was definately something that I wanted to get done as soon as I could.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:29am

Why are you memories tied to spending money?

I didn't say they were "tied" to money but there is not much that is free. Most things that you do require money. 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:32am

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why do you equate spending money with enjoying life?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?</span></span></strong></p>

But SAH is all about mom and WOH is to provide the things for her kids that wouldn't happen if she didn't work...  The question is a very odd one, Lol. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:32am

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I totally agree with the first part, <strong>unlike Morty...I don't see my parent's house as in what is in it for m</strong>e and I hope my children see whatever house we have at that point in time the same way.  </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Wow, that is a really horrible thing to say. I never spoke ONCE about my parents house at.all. </span></span></strong></p>

I didn't mention your parents house in that comment either, I was talking about my parents house.  When I spoke of you, I was referring to your many comments about bords house and how she should update her kitchen so it wouldn't be a burden on her kids and for...I think you said, resale value for the kids when they pass.  Yes, I thought it was pretty horrible of you to say to bord, too.  Your comments were not cordial or kind, at all.  They were pretty tacky, actually.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:35am
"You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?" Memories can be made baking cookies together, raking leaves together, having a nightly ritual of having a cup of tea before bed together, reading books together as a family, going for walks on a nature trail, playing badminton in the back yard, all kinds of things. Zoos, museums, planetariums, things like that are either free or cheap. Not every memory needs mouse ears attached.

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