Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:37am
mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why do you equate spending money with enjoying life?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?</span></span></strong></p>

But SAH is all about mom and WOH is to provide the things for her kids that wouldn't happen if she didn't work...  The question is a very odd one, Lol. 

I just know that to do many things (that make memories), they require money. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:38am
I'm trying to decide that if we decide to give our house to one of the kids whether my future daughter in law would prefer a completely updated house decorated to my taste, or a house that's ten years out of date plus 100K to remodel/decorate to her tastes.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:38am
I agree, memories are found in the littlest things. There are many things my kids remember that I don't, There are things I remember my kids don't, Lol. My kid told me she missed me when I couldn't be home when she got home the other day, that means something to me.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:53am
ortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I totally agree with the first part, <strong>unlike Morty...I don't see my parent's house as in what is in it for m</strong>e and I hope my children see whatever house we have at that point in time the same way.  </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Wow, that is a really horrible thing to say. I never spoke ONCE about my parents house at.all. </span></span></strong></p>

I didn't mention your parents house in that comment either, I was talking about my parents house.  When I spoke of you, I was referring to your many comments about bords house and how she should update her kitchen so it wouldn't be a burden on her kids and for...I think you said, resale value for the kids when they pass.  Yes, I thought it was pretty horrible of you to say to bord, too.  Your comments were not cordial or kind, at all.  They were pretty tacky, actually.

"unlike Morty...I don't see my parent's house as in what is in it for me"---read your statement again. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:59am

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why are you memories tied to spending money?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I didn't say they were "tied" to money but there is not much that is free. Most things that you do require money. </span></strong></p>

Yes, you did and you just did it again. You implied that bord needed to spend the money to make memories.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 11:59am

"You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?" Memories can be made baking cookies together

You need to purchase the items to make the cookies

, raking leaves together,

Bags needed to put the leaves in

having a nightly ritual of having a cup of tea before bed together,

Tea needs to be bought

reading books together as a family,

Those MIGHT be free if you go to a library to get them

going for walks on a nature trail,

Unless you live close to a nature trail, gas to get there. Appropriate clothes and shoes to go for a walk

playing badminton in the back yard,

Badminton rackets, birdie and possibly a net

all kinds of things. Zoos, museums, planetariums, things like that are either free or cheap. Not every memory needs mouse ears attached.

That all depends on where you live and what you consider cheap. Some people have limited funds and a day at the zoo might be expensive for them. The zoo I just went to with my ds's class would cost us way over $100 for the day. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:00pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why do you equate spending money with enjoying life?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?</span></span></strong></p>

There are a lot of things for free, making memories can be one of them.  One doesn't need to spend money to enjoy life, one can save and spend and enjoy life.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:02pm

I agree, memories are found in the littlest things. There are many things my kids remember that I don't, There are things I remember my kids don't, Lol. My kid told me she missed me when I couldn't be home when she got home the other day, that means something to me.

I absolutely agree but I am a realist and know that almost everything has a money attachment to do it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:02pm

<<It wasn't a burden (I don't think I used that word) to me but it was definately something that I wanted to get done as soon as I could.>>

I'm pretty sure that you used that word...you stated that bord needed to redo her kitchen as not to be burden for her kids in the future.  I'm curious as to why that doesn't apply to you?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:03pm

Yes, you did and you just did it again. You implied that bord needed to spend the money to make memories.

Yes because almost everything requires money in one way or another.

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