Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:14pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">"You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?" Memories can be made baking cookies together</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You need to purchase the items to make the cookies</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">, raking leaves together, </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Bags needed to put the leaves in</span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">having a nightly ritual of having a cup of tea before bed together,</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Tea needs to be bought</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">reading books together as a family, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Those MIGHT be free if you go to a library to get them</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">going for walks on a nature trail, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Unless you live close to a nature trail, gas to get there. Appropriate clothes and shoes to go for a walk</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">playing badminton in the back yard, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Badminton rackets, birdie and possibly a net</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">all kinds of things. Zoos, museums, planetariums, things like that are either free or cheap. Not every memory needs mouse ears attached.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That all depends on where you live and what you consider cheap. Some people have limited funds and a day at the zoo might be expensive for them. The zoo I just went to with my ds's class would cost us way over $100 for the day. </span></strong></p>

Not always on your items...we don't use bags for leaves for example, we are close to a nature trail and our zoo and many museums are free.  I used to go to the zoo all the time with my kids, packed a lunch and we had a blast.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:15pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I agree, memories are found in the littlest things. There are many things my kids remember that I don't, There are things I remember my kids don't, Lol. My kid told me she missed me when I couldn't be home when she got home the other day, that means something to me.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I absolutely agree but I am a realist and know that almost everything has a money attachment to do it. </span></strong></p>

Maybe too much of a realist? 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:16pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yes, you did and you just did it again. You implied that bord needed to spend the money to make memories.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yes because almost everything requires money in one way or another.</span></strong></p>

You are missing the bigger picture....one can save money and still enjoy life, despite your comments otherwise.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:18pm

Not always on your items...we don't use bags for leaves for example, we are close to a nature trail and our zoo and many museums are free.  I used to go to the zoo all the time with my kids, packed a lunch and we had a blast.

That is great that you could do that for free. Not all people can and if you start thinking about it, there is a cost associated with most things. Not sure how you could deny that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:22pm

Maybe too much of a realist? 

Why? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:23pm

You are missing the bigger picture....one can save money and still enjoy life, despite your comments otherwise.

Again, I have said over and over that I DO save money also, did you miss my post about my savings? I also know that most things require money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:27pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">"You DO realize that there is not much you can get for free, correct?" Memories can be made baking cookies together</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You need to purchase the items to make the cookies</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">, raking leaves together, </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Bags needed to put the leaves in</span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">having a nightly ritual of having a cup of tea before bed together,</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Tea needs to be bought</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">reading books together as a family, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Those MIGHT be free if you go to a library to get them</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">going for walks on a nature trail, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Unless you live close to a nature trail, gas to get there. Appropriate clothes and shoes to go for a walk</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">playing badminton in the back yard, </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Badminton rackets, birdie and possibly a net</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">all kinds of things. Zoos, museums, planetariums, things like that are either free or cheap. Not every memory needs mouse ears attached.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That all depends on where you live and what you consider cheap. Some people have limited funds and a day at the zoo might be expensive for them. The zoo I just went to with my ds's class would cost us way over $100 for the day. </span></strong></p>

Well, I said "free or cheap."  The ingredients for cookies and tea and bags for leaves would be things that I would have in the house anyway, no special extra cost involved in creating family rituals around baking, having a cup of tea together, or an annual yard clean-up together.  A small amount of gas to get to the zoo or the trailhead isn't a problem for most people, and we always have appropriate clothes and shoes for a walk, that's not an issue.   $136 in admission for a family of four to go to the zoo is an expensive day, but for $189 you could get an annual membership to both the zoo and the aquarium, and if you visit each twice over the course of a year, it's less than $25 a visit for a family of four, which isn't that big of an expense.  Less than going to the movies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:33pm

Well, I said "free or cheap."  The ingredients for cookies and tea and bags for leaves would be things that I would have in the house anyway, no special extra cost involved in creating family rituals around baking, having a cup of tea together, or an annual yard clean-up together. 

You might have them in your house but you STILL had to buy them and the things to bake the cookies (baking sheets, cooling rack, etc). 

A small amount of gas to get to the zoo or the trailhead isn't a problem for most people, and we always have appropriate clothes and shoes for a walk, that's not an issue. 

It all depends on how far you live from these things.

$136 in admission for a family of four to go to the zoo is an expensive day, but for $189 you could get an annual membership to both the zoo and the aquarium, and if you visit each twice over the course of a year, it's less than $25 a visit for a family of four, which isn't that big of an expense.  Less than going to the movies.

Again, it all depends on how far you live to the zoo as we are not close at all and it all depends on the zoo in your area and their offers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:38pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">There are a lot of things for free, making memories can be one of them.  One doesn't need to spend money to enjoy life, one can save and spend and enjoy life.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Please give some examples.</span></strong></p>

Once again, I find myself amused that person who claims to know so many different people is once again asking for examples.

Taking a walk, having a picnic, reading books, cuddling/snuggling, talking, playing games in the backyard, those are examples of free activities.  Saving and spending can be a ton of things:  zoo, museums, local festivales, school functions, going to the dollar show...all kinds of things.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:39pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Well, I said "free or cheap."  The ingredients for cookies and tea and bags for leaves would be things that I would have in the house anyway, no special extra cost involved in creating family rituals around baking, having a cup of tea together, or an annual yard clean-up together.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You might have them in your house but you STILL had to buy them and the things to bake the cookies (baking sheets, cooling rack, etc). </span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">A small amount of gas to get to the zoo or the trailhead isn't a problem for most people, and we always have appropriate clothes and shoes for a walk, that's not an issue. </span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>It all depends on how far you live from these thing</strong>s.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">$136 in admission for a family of four to go to the zoo is an expensive day, but for $189 you could get an annual membership to both the zoo and the aquarium, and if you visit each twice over the course of a year, it's less than $25 a visit for a family of four, which isn't that big of an expense.  Less than going to the movies.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Again, it all depends on how far you live to the zoo as we are not close at all and it all depends on the zoo in your area and their offers.</span></strong></p>

Most people live close enough to a few things such as zoos, trails, rivers, beaches, parks, etc, that involve free or low cost opportunties for family recreation or "memory making."   If they don't, perhaps they had best stop bragging about what a wonderful, vibrant, forward-thinking area they have chosen to live in.

I guess "close" is relative.  Me, if I live within fifty miles or so of something, it's close enough to visit a few times a year.  You may think diferently.

The whole thing about baking sheets and stuff initially costing money is stupid.  Of course things cost money.  The idea is that you can make memories around your house, no EXTRA money, and you don't have to go and spend hundreds of dollars, or go on an expensive trip, to "make memories."

Or maybe YOU do.  I wouldn't know.

Pages