Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:40pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">&lt;&lt;It wasn't a burden (I don't think I used that word) to me but it was definately something that I wanted to get done as soon as I could.&gt;&gt;</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I'm pretty sure that you used that word...you stated that bord needed to redo her kitchen as not to be burden for her kids in the future.  I'm curious as to why that doesn't apply to you?</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Again, I stated why and when we were underage, that would be for our guardians to take care of, not us.</strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p>

You were underage when you purchased your home?  And no, you never stated why it was different.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:41pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Your kids have seen more of the world than I have. What's the hurry?  What is gained in having so many experiences so early? Perhaps they can take that to college and put that money of yours to good use... International study or travel perhaps? </p><p> </p><p> </p>

Personally, I think the more educational/enrichment activities that you can have with your kids, the better.  We all enjoyed traveling together.  Still do.  What is to be gained by putting off for tomorrow things that you can enjoy today. if of course, you can afford to do those things without compromising your longterm financial goals?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:41pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I don't agree, there are many low cost or free memories just waiting to be had.  Its interesting what kids remember...mine remember snuggles in my bed before they went to bed as children, reading books with funny voices.  One example.  One of my favorite memories as a child is spending time with my grandmother just doing things around her house, just me and her.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yes there is but again, I am a realist and know that almost everything requires money in one way or another. What you DO with the money to make memories, is another thing.</span></strong></p>

I don't focus on using money to make memories, I let them happen where they do.  I know that I can save money and still make memories and live my life, I don't live in your either/or world.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:42pm

Once again, I find myself amused that person who claims to know so many different people is once again asking for examples.

What does knowing so many different people have to do with asking for examples?

Taking a walk, having a picnic, reading books, cuddling/snuggling, talking, playing games in the backyard, those are examples of free activities.  Saving and spending can be a ton of things:  zoo, museums, local festivales, school functions, going to the dollar show...all kinds of things.

Again, most of these things require some type of money involved. 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:42pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Read.  The.  Posts.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I.DID</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></p>

Lol. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:43pm

Most people live close enough to a few things such as zoos, trails, rivers, beaches, parks, etc, that involve free or low cost opportunties for family recreation or "memory making."   If they don't, perhaps they had best stop bragging about what a wonderful, vibrant, forward-thinking area they have chosen to live in.

MOST, not ALL. 

The whole thing about baking sheets and stuff initially costing money is stupid.  Of course things cost money.  The idea is that you can make memories around your house, no EXTRA money, and you don't have to go and spend hundreds of dollars, or go on an expensive trip, to "make memories."

Why is it stupid? You STILL had to spend money to do these things. I never said you had to spend hundreds of dollars or go on expensive trips to make memories. 

Or maybe YOU do.  I wouldn't know.

Nope I don't and never said I did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:44pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Once again, I find myself amused that person who claims to know so many different people is once again asking for examples.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>What does knowing so many different people have to do with asking for examples?</strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Taking a walk, having a picnic, reading books, cuddling/snuggling, talking, playing games in the backyard, those are examples of free activities.  Saving and spending can be a ton of things:  zoo, museums, local festivales, school functions, going to the dollar show...all kinds of things.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Again, most of these things require some type of money involved.</strong> </p>

What part of "free or cheap" is confusing to you, Morty?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:44pm

You were underage when you purchased your home?  

Nope, I said I was close to Bord's older son's age when I did. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:48pm

mortysswifeelee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Most people live close enough to a few things such as zoos, trails, rivers, beaches, parks, etc, that involve free or low cost opportunties for family recreation or "memory making."   If they don't, perhaps they had best stop bragging about what a wonderful, vibrant, forward-thinking area they have chosen to live in.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></span><strong>MOST, not ALL. </strong><br /><br /><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">The whole thing about baking sheets and stuff initially costing money is stupid.  Of course things cost money.  The idea is that you can make memories around your house, no EXTRA money, and you don't have to go and spend hundreds of dollars, or go on an expensive trip, to "make memories."</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></span><strong>Why is it stupid? You STILL had to spend money to do these things. I never said you had to spend hundreds of dollars or go on expensive trips to make memories. </strong><br /><br /><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Or maybe YOU do.  I wouldn't know.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Nope I don't and never said I did.</span></strong></p>

You've been going on for years about how "always save" and "never spend," which is just stupid.  I pointed out that we always budget for travel and experiences, and that many of the things we do/did together to make memories on a regular basis are free or cheap.  I don't know what point you are trying to make now.  You keep pointing out how you need to "spend" to make memories. Nobody said everything was free.  Most people, if they have three brain cells to rub together, can figure out some free or cheap fun things to do as a family.  if the cost of making cookies or raking leaves is interfering with your savings goals, perhaps you had better rethink your budget.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2013
Thu, 10-31-2013 - 12:49pm

I don't focus on using money to make memories, I let them happen where they do.  I know that I can save money and still make memories and live my life, I don't live in your either/or world.

Neither do I but I am a realist and know that most things DO require money to do. 

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