Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:37pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p>&lt;&lt;<span style="text-align:left; font-size:13px"><strong>Again, we were talking what we all do for free&gt;&gt;</strong></span></p><p><span style="text-align:left; font-size:13px"><strong>No. *I* was talking about the opportunties that exist for doing things free.  </strong></span></p>

Exactly, she asked for examples, which were given. 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:38pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortysswifelee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;LOL!  I'm having a really hard time picturing that snuggling. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;img src="http://www.ivillage.com/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" border="0" style="font-size:13px; text-align:left" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;<strong>Maybe it is just a teen GIRL thing but they don't usually like much snuggling at that age. lol. My 10 year old BOY would snuggle all the time. She does have TEENS, right? I thought all this talk was in present term. No?</strong>&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Right, I just don't see the moms who've suggested it "snuggling" with their college-age and teen age sons.  I've got 2 huggers.  That's not bad.  But I sure wouldn't put that in the WIN column under ~ woohoo, a free activity.</p><p>Ermahgerd....</p>

I'm sorry.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:38pm

Morty, can't you just enjoy cleaning up your yard together as a family for free!?

It's one of Bord's free family activities that bonds everyone together.

Yeah that sounds like a TON of fun-NOT lol. My kids won't be remembering cleaning the yard for years to come and asking to do over and over. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:38pm

mortyswiffeelee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Right, I just don't see the moms who've suggested it "snuggling" with their college-age and teen age sons.  I've got 2 huggers.  That's not bad.  But I sure wouldn't put that in the WIN column under ~ woohoo, a free activity.</p><div><span style="font-size:small"><strong>lol. It is great to hug and snuggle but, yeah, I wouldn't say, ok kids tonight how about we snuggle to save some money as there doesn't seem to be anything free around to do. Bawahhhaa...My kids would look at me like I am INSANE. lol</strong></span></div>

Why do you like to make up things?  That is so odd...

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:39pm

mortyswiffeelee wrote:
I think kids remember both but it is usually the things out of their ordinary day that kids enjoy that they remember the most and ask to do again and again. </span></strong></p>

I don't know that I agree.  I do think that kids will remember the out of the ordinary. I do think they'll remember the expensive.  But I also think that often times - maybe even more often - the things that are the really meaningful, long lasting memories are the everyday things.

For instance, one of my fondest memories of my dad and me is that I used to pretend to fall asleep on the floor in the living room so that he'd carry me upstairs to bed.  I loved the feel of being all sleepy in his arms.  (I later found out he always knew I was faking ... but he enjoyed it too, so he played along.)  Another great memory (which happened quite often) is of my parents sitting around the fireplace singing and playing guitars.   And of my dad asking "Quick! Who is this?" everytime a Moody Blues song came on the radio.  And of my mom singing the absurdly wrong lyrics to so many songs. 

I remember our Disney trip. Sure.  But I remember those things above much more often and much more fondly.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:39pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortysswifelee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Just further proof that you'll make excuses of any kind just to insist that there is nothing you could do for free or cheap to create memories with your kids.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:x-small"&gt;&lt;span&gt;How is it an excuse when my kids are too old or not interested?<strong> Do you do free things JUST because they are free?</strong>&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I think they do what you do but call them a family bonding activites.  Folding the laundry together.  "Snuggling."  But you want more out of life because you have the means and are willing to pay a modest sum to enjoy activities because you can pay. </p>

So what you are both saying is one I said in the beginning...your memories are tied to money.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:39pm

Because it didn't matter, what part was confusing?

Why didn't it matter? Please explain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:39pm

So then, why can't one be free?

Again, there is NO free ones by me. Sigh.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:41pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p>"What has been glossed over is that, like it or not, kids do remember as fond memories the times money is coughed up and spent at Mickey Mouse ear type excursions"</p><p>Has anyone indicated that Disney isn't a fond memory? Or that activities that require (lots of) money don't create fond memories?</p><p>I love it when you people argue things that haven't been said.</p>

And I love how you misrepresent what I said, even here by cutting of my one sentence about volleyball games. What you did say and I corrected you with my volleyball post is that you can claim homecoming or "snuggling" with a college-age boy is a free activity which bonds the family.  But you'd be wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-01-2013 - 2:41pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;thardy2001&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;Yes, common sense dictates that good parents are all happily attending homecoming especially if their kid is in the marching band.  That's not really a freebie, it's just an Oh, that's what parents do and they aren't miserable doing it.  They're not really freebies.  In fact, your tax dollars are paying for homecoming.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Common sense dictated early on ~ though as usual a lack of common sense prevailed ~ that we were all kind of talking about meaningful events the whole family could enjoy and hold dear as a fond memory.   Dragging a kid kicking and screaming to watch his older sister in the marching bad at homecoming (for like, 15 minutes total?) is not a meaningful event nor fond family memory.   Again, I'm not singling you out, of course. &amp;lt;img src="/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" border="0" /&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Call me a bad parent then. I didn't go to FB  homecoming. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I've never had to drag my kid kicking and screaming to watch his sister. He's a band geek too. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Watching the HS band perform IS a meaningful event and fond family memory for us.   Shrug. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>No one called you a bad parent.  (Your kid doesn't want to play football.)  What has been glossed over is that, like it or not, kids do remember as fond memories the times money is coughed up and spent at Mickey Mouse ear type excursions.  Each and every time mom and dad attended a home and away volleyball game....not so much. </p>

I disagree, but then again I have experience with high school sports, your posts show a real lack of expereince.

PumpkinAngel

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