Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:56pm

No, I see no purpose in sharing stories with you, none at all, in fact quite the opposite.  Just because I choose not to tell stories to a bunch of strangers on a public internet board, doesn't mean I don't have any.  

If you find that "in general" you can be nice to people and they will be nice to you, I find it very hard to believe that someone has done bad things against you, lied about you and things you did and do for years. I could go on and on and on. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:56pm

bordwithyou wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswifeee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;"So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes." Of course, we all have. Several of them are on this board. When you run into people like that you deal with them on your own terms. In the case of board people, hang around as long as you are amused and having fun, and then go off and live your own life when it's no longer fun. In real life, it's harder of course, if you are related to those people or if you work for them, but generally you can work around those issues, as well. There is no constitutional requirement that anyone consort with toxic people against his or her own will.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;There is NO ONE on this board as bad as what I have encountered. Even the sharp tongues is NOTHING close.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Well, if there is NO ONE on this board who has experienced what you have, then why are you asking people if they have.  Sounds as if your mind is made up.</p>

Still also sounds a bit like a competition....

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:00pm

Perhaps if you have such an issue with mean and manipulative on a regular basis, you might with choose to change the group you hang out with or change your own behavior?  Just a suggestion.

Again, you don't get it. Sometimes you can NOT change who is in your life. The only thing you can do is try to be cordial and keep your distance. I have ALWAYS been cordial and nice, ALWAYS. I do stand up for myself more than I did years ago though. My gf who is going through the same thing has NO choice either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:01pm

I hope that you're getting help for the many wounds you have suffered.

Yes, distance has helped, thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:02pm

<<No need for the definition. So you have been in those situations? Some examples?>>

Clearly there was a need for the definition since you incorrectly that I didn't know what you were talking about despite my comments clearly saying I did, thus the link to the definition again.  Yes and I haven't seen you give an example, so why must I?  I really so no purpose in giving you more personal information, none.

<<So you have no examples?>>

I do, but I see no purpose in sharing personal information with you.  

<<Nope no examples. Which leads me to believe you have none.>>

Well you have flip/flopped from me not answering your questions, when I clearly did to more assumptions.  You are welcome to continue to leap to those false assumptions, this is not a reflection on me, btw.  :)



PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:03pm

<<No need for the definition. So you have been in those situations? Some examples?>>

Clearly there was a need for the definition since you incorrectly that I didn't know what you were talking about despite my comments clearly saying I did, thus the link to the definition again.  Yes and I haven't seen you give an example, so why must I?  I really so no purpose in giving you more personal information, none.

Oh my...which one should I start with? 

<<So you have no examples?>>

I do, but I see no purpose in sharing personal information with you.  

Uh huh

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:04pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Mocking people is an example of being mean. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Ok, and? Who said ANYTHING about mocking anyone IRL?</span></strong></p>

I did, don't you remember you quoted my comments?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:05pm

bordwithyou wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswifeee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Well, if there is NO ONE on this board who has experienced what you have&lt;/strong&gt;, then why are you asking people if they have.  Sounds as if your mind is made up.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;From the examples I have heard (which seem to be NONE).&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Nobody wants to share their stories with you. They are smarter than that.  If it makes you feel better somehow to be the Queen of the Misunderstood and Maltreated, you are welcome to the crown.   I hope that you're getting help for the many wounds you have suffered.</p>

Of course it also gives more support to my generally being nice to people tends to equal nice in return.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:06pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">No, I see no purpose in sharing stories with </span><strong>you</strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">, none at all, in fact quite the opposite.  Just because I choose not to tell stories to a bunch of strangers on a public internet board, doesn't mean I don't have any.  </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>If you find that "in general" you can be nice to people and they will be nice to you, I find it very hard to believe that someone has done bad things against you, lied about you and things you did and do for years. I could go on and on and on. </span></span></strong></p>

Heck..just read this board.  LoL.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:10pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Perhaps if you have such an issue with mean and manipulative on a regular basis, you might with choose to change the group you hang out with or change your own behavior?  Just a suggestion.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Again, you don't get it. Sometimes you can NOT change who is in your life. The only thing you can do is try to be cordial and keep your distance. I have ALWAYS been cordial and nice, ALWAYS. I do stand up for myself more than I did years ago though. My gf who is going through the same thing has NO choice either.</span></strong></p>

We always have a choice, perhaps not in our location but in how we respond or let poor behavior affect us and I really haven't seen much evidence of cordial behavior, quite the opposite.

PumpkinAngel

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