Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 10:38pm

You said you can't choose family. I chose to marry my husband. He's family. Which means that you can, indeed, choose your family. And to answer your question, I choose my spouse because I love him. His family was a bonus.

Really? So you have NO problem with his family at all, ever?

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 4:04am
Ashmama, I am sorry you had to be subjected to snide comments about your kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 8:48am

<<Nope, you just WANT them to look black and white and NEVER read what I actually post.>>

Actually, that isn't true.  I read your post in reply about my comment that I generally have people around me that are nice, not rude and nasty.  That I believe that if you are nice, you often generally get nice in return.  You replied with only two options, no belief or understanding of my statements but only two options to the situation, aka a black and white situation.  Here are your exact words were you only give a black and white scenario.

<<Either you are very naive or you don't get out much and meet many people. >>

<<Again, I KNOW you do NOT know people like that AT ALL. >>

How do you know that?  Are you stalking me again or something?  But as I said, I generally do not run into your type of people in real life.  shrug.  


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 8:49am

jamblessedthree wrote:
If there's anybody that has a wide circle of friends its you morty.

How do you know that?  How many have you met?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 8:52am

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">If there's anybody that has a wide circle of friends its you morty.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Yep AND family. PKA has NO clue what type of different people I know and have come in contact with. I usually bring my dh into the mix because of how VERY different his family and friends were but after getting older and going to work and just meeting people through so many different avenues, I can EASILY say that I know how people ARE very different than myself AND that nothing is black and white. She just paints me with a brush that I only know people who are like me, which makes NO sense because NO ONE is EXACTLY like me. lol.</span></strong></p>

Where did I comment on the type of people that you know?   Please provide the post or stop making stuff up.

I don't know why you can't understand that people can vary widely, can be very different and still not be rude, mocking and nasty.  If you know so many people, how can you not know that there are a lot of good people out there that don't resort to that type of behavior?  Do you not know people who are nice?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 9:26am

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">You said you can't choose family. I chose to marry my husband. He's family. Which means that you can, indeed, choose your family. And to answer your question, I choose my spouse because I love him. His family was a bonus.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Really? So you have NO problem with his family at all, ever?</span></strong></p>

Not at all what I said. Are you taking reading comprehension lessons from your debating buddies?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 11:18am

I choose my spouse because I love him. His family was a bonus.

So a good or bad bonus? Haven't you had problems in the past with all of your dh's family? What makes you an expert on attacking others on their families if you have problems also?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 3:17pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; background-color:#f6f6f6">I choose my spouse because I love him. His family was a bonus.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; background-color:#f6f6f6">So a good or bad bonus? Haven't you had problems in the past with all of your dh's family? What makes you an expert on attacking others on their families if you have problems also?</span></strong></p>

I have a mentally ill mother in law. So we get along just fine when she takes her meds. When she doesn't medicate--that's a problem. Have I had disagreements w/his family over the last two decades? Sure. But at the end of the day, my kids have three grandparents and multiple aunts and uncles who adore them, and cousins who are among their best friends. I'd call that a good bonus. Wouldn't you?

I am not of the opinion that a disagreement equals the end of a relationship. How unfortunate that you seem to think that way...

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 10-21-2013 - 3:31pm
"I have a mentally ill mother in law. So we get along just fine when she takes her meds. When she doesn't medicate--that's a problem." -------- That can be very difficult.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2013
Tue, 10-22-2013 - 11:11am

I am not of the opinion that a disagreement equals the end of a relationship.

Did anyone say they think this? 

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