Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:36pm

GENERALLY.   TEND TO.  GENERALLY.   TEND TO.   PKA made no absolutes in her statements.   She left plenty of room for alternate situations to exist.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:39pm

<<I'm sorry, did you miss this part of her posts?:

perhaps I just iive in a society that is generally nicer?
"There are, of course, some just generally mean and unhappy people in the world - being nice doesn't seem to help there."

EXACTLY. This is NOT what PKA has stated in her posts.>>

I said generally, I'm not sure why you are confused on that word, it doesn't mean only.

So what about these posts from you?

I tend to find that if I'm nice, than I get nice in return.  :)"

My guess is that since I am a generally nice person, that I generally receive nice reponses in return, I realize that ymmv."  

You are saying since you are nice, you receive nice responses. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:41pm

GENERALLY.   TEND TO.  GENERALLY.   TEND TO.   PKA made no absolutes in her statements.   She left plenty of room for alternate situations to exist.

Did that backpedaling from you and PKA make you have to stop for some water? BAER.
It was clear from the posts to myself and Jams that she was indicating that WE are not nice so that is why we have encountered people in our lives that were not nice to us. That is a very narrow-minded statement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:42pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><span style="font-size:small">&lt;&lt;I'm sorry, did you miss this part of her posts?:</span></p><div style="text-align:left; font-size:14px; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:small">perhaps I just iive in a society that is generally nicer?</span></div><div style="text-align:left; font-size:14px; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"></div><div style="text-align:left; font-size:14px; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:small">"There are, of course, some just generally mean and unhappy people in the world - being nice doesn't seem to help there."</span></div><div style="text-align:left; font-size:14px; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:small"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:small">EXACTLY. This is NOT what PKA has stated in her posts.&gt;&gt;</span></div><div style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:small"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; color:#000000"><span style="font-size:small">I said generally, I'm not sure why you are confused on that word, it doesn't mean only.</span></div><div><span style="font-size:medium"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size:medium">So what about these posts from you?</span></div><div><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>I tend to find that if I'm nice, than I get nice in return.  :)"</strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>My guess is that since I am a generally nice person, that I generally receive nice reponses in return, I realize that ymmv."  </strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>You are saying since you are nice, you receive nice responses. </strong></p></div>

No, it says that it "tends" to be that way, it's "generally" that way.   

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:42pm

That's a good point morty, and there really are all kinds of people out there.  I can't imagine being so naieve as to think that my nice self only attracts nice people in return.  I've been shaken to the core by quite a few mean people in my life and those experiences are as much opportunities to learn from as having like minded friends. 

Yep and I truly don't think some posters have EVER encountered the type of ones that we have IRL. They are truly lucky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:43pm

No, it says that it "tends" to be that way, it's "generally" that way.   

So now you know people who are manipulative, mean, back-stabbers, etc. to you EVEN WHEN you were nice to them? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:44pm

I would like to bring in a quote from the mental health thread....

Jam's wrote:  Then change the company you keep b/c you lay a lot of blame on others.  It's the, I'm always right pill I read a lot of here too. 

If one in general isn't surrounded by "generally" nice people, then don't blame them, change the company you keep.   Or, try being nice, I have found that it tends to make people nicer.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:45pm

I would like to bring in a quote from the mental health thread....

Jam's wrote:  Then change the company you keep b/c you lay a lot of blame on others.  It's the, I'm always right pill I read a lot of here too. 

If one in general isn't surrounded by "generally" nice people, then don't blame them, change the company you keep.   Or, try being nice, I have found that it tends to make people nicer.

Sometimes you CAN'T change that company you keep. Again, you seem to be inexperienced in the type of people I am speaking of. Not just someone who is in a bad mood and if you are nice you can change their mood.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:47pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><div><div><div><p>GENERALLY.   TEND TO.  GENERALLY.   TEND TO.   PKA made no absolutes in her statements.   She left plenty of room for alternate situations to exist.</p></div><div><strong>Did that backpedaling from you and PKA make you have to stop for some water? BAER.</strong></div></div><div></div><div><strong>It was clear from the posts to myself and Jams that she was indicating that WE are not nice so that is why we have encountered people in our lives that were not nice to us. That is a very narrow-minded statement.</strong></div></div></div>

There is no backpedalling, however, there is a lack of reading comprehension.

Since I didn't make that statement, you will have to address it with "no one".  Again.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:49pm

It was clear from the posts to myself and Jams that she was indicating that WE are not nice so that is why we have encountered people in our lives that were not nice to us. 

You didn't blatantly come out with that but your run around surely indicated that. 

So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes.

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