Moms who know better than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Moms who know better than you
1270
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 8:02am

Kind of joking there.  But the other day I met a mom who was certain she knew which area schools were the best.  I told her my children are happily in public school, but upon entering middle school and/or upon entering 8th grade, if any of mine wants, then we'll take a tour of all of the schools in the area ~ private, several Catholic.  Not a Catholic, lol, she told me unequivocally that, yes, I needed to take my children on a tour of the local Catholic schools NOW because they are the best schools in the area.  Because of course her kids went there.   Her children graduated from high school long ago, but I never quite got my answer on what they were all doing now.  Wink

Anyway, the "conversation" (monologue?) continued until my friend saw me cornered.  Has this kind of thing happened to you ~ older mom telling you how to do it better?  How do you handle moms with children older than yours who are a little too liberal and pushy with their advices?  ....Have you ever been that mom?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 2:55pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That's a good point morty, and there really are all kinds of people out there.  I can't imagine being so naieve as to think that my nice self only attracts nice people in return.  I've been shaken to the core by quite a few mean people in my life and those experiences are as much opportunities to learn from as having like minded friends. </p><div><strong>Yep and I truly don't think some posters have EVER encountered the type of ones that we have IRL. They are truly lucky.</strong></div>

I didn't realize you had turned this into a competition.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:02pm
"So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes." Of course, we all have. Several of them are on this board. When you run into people like that you deal with them on your own terms. In the case of board people, hang around as long as you are amused and having fun, and then go off and live your own life when it's no longer fun. In real life, it's harder of course, if you are related to those people or if you work for them, but generally you can work around those issues, as well. There is no constitutional requirement that anyone consort with toxic people against his or her own will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:03pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">No, it says that it </span><em><strong>"tends</strong></em><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">" to be that way, it's</span><em><strong> "generall</strong><strong>y"</strong></em><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"> that way.   </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">So now you know people who are manipulative, mean, back-stabbers, etc. to you EVEN WHEN you were nice to them? </span></strong></p>

Well, no...as in "now you know people" since I clearly said that in my first post, I haven't posted any absolutes throughout this thread, and I (and sav) have clarfied for you multiple times now, I'm really not sure where you have come up with the I am only around nice people to begin with.   Smile       

Anyone else see the irony here?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:06pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I would like to bring in a quote from the mental health thread....</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Jam's wrote:  Then change the company you keep b/c you lay a lot of blame on others.  It's the, I'm always right pill I read a lot of here too. </p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">If one in general isn't surrounded by "generally" nice people, then don't blame them, change the company you keep.   Or, try being nice, I have found that it tends to make people nicer.</p><div><strong>Sometimes you CAN'T change that company you keep. Again, you seem to be inexperienced in the type of people I am speaking of. Not just someone who is in a bad mood and if you are nice you can change their mood.</strong></div>

I don't know about you, but I'm generally not forced or confined in places where I don't have a choice of my company ,ymmv of course.  And no your "seem to be inexperienced"  is not true. Please don't make up things about my life due to lack of reading comprehension, because that would be mean and manipulative.

 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:10pm

mortyswifeee wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; background-color:#f6f6f6">It was clear from the posts to myself and Jams that she was indicating that WE are not nice so that is why we have encountered people in our lives that were not nice to us. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; background-color:#f6f6f6">You didn't blatantly come out with that but your run around surely indicated that. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left; background-color:#f6f6f6">So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes.</span></strong></p>

I didn't do any run around, I have already explained my comments multiple times, what part of generaly and tend still isn't clear to you?   I stated in my first post in this thread that I have encountered people like this, please go back and read my comments if they are still unclear to you.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:11pm

bordwithyou wrote:
"So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes." Of course, we all have. Several of them are on this board. When you run into people like that you deal with them on your own terms. In the case of board people, hang around as long as you are amused and having fun, and then go off and live your own life when it's no longer fun. In real life, it's harder of course, if you are related to those people or if you work for them, but generally you can work around those issues, as well. There is no constitutional requirement that anyone consort with toxic people against his or her own will.

Exactly, I hadn't realized that this was a unique situation that needed so many posts to explain.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:19pm

I didn't realize you had turned this into a competition.

Not a competition. I would not want anyone else to have to go through what I have gone through. Just a statement from telling people my stories that they have never met people like I have. Maybe you have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:21pm

"So again, have you encountered the type of people WE have that you just can not be "nice" to them for them to change how they are towards you are anyone else. Please explain if your answer is yes." Of course, we all have. Several of them are on this board. When you run into people like that you deal with them on your own terms. In the case of board people, hang around as long as you are amused and having fun, and then go off and live your own life when it's no longer fun. In real life, it's harder of course, if you are related to those people or if you work for them, but generally you can work around those issues, as well. There is no constitutional requirement that anyone consort with toxic people against his or her own will.

There is NO ONE on this board as bad as what I have encountered. Even the sharp tongues is NOTHING close.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:21pm

Anyone else see the irony here?

Why are you asking anyone else their opinion? You have never answered my question. Would you like to answer it now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 3:23pm

I don't know about you, but I'm generally not forced or confined in places where I don't have a choice of my company ,ymmv of course.  

So you really do NOT know what I am speaking of. 

And no your "seem to be inexperienced"  is not true.

Why not? Please explain. Do you have some examples?

Please don't make up things about my life due to lack of reading comprehension, because that would be mean and manipulative.

No one is making up anything about your life. I asked a question. You have not answered it yet. 

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