!! Monday !!

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
!! Monday !!
168
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:52am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? 

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?

What's on your agenda this week?

 

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:36pm

"What's the motive behind the question.. I mean if I say I only know one does that make me less informed than someone that may know 100? "

Well Jambles, b/c there is a lot more to life with an ill child than what gets posted on message boards liek caring bridge.

"there are groups, both face to face and online communities that support and encourage eachother. Caring bridge is just one of thousands, That's not even debatable, It's a fact! "

Again Jambles, you might have a point if anyone had said otherwise.  We aren't debating the FACT that online communities like that exists.

Shaking my head.

*********

Ducky

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:39pm
Jams wrote: "And this nonsense, most parents are all happy & in bliss I've never said. You really need to stop putting words in my mouth. Thanks." ---------- That is exactly how your original statement came across. If that is not what you meant, then explain to us, please. I already asked you to clarify what you meant.
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:41pm
"Yes, it does support the point I made about the peace many families find in raising ill children." ------------ Not really. Do you know any of those families? I do. The caring bridge page is all about support and cheerleading and putting on a good face because grandma in Idaho will be reading it too. It does not mean that those parents are not utterly distraught IRL.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:42pm

ducky1st89 wrote:
<p>"What's the motive behind the question.. I mean if I say I only know one does that make me less informed than someone that may know 100? "</p><p>Well Jambles, b/c there is a lot more to life with an ill child than what gets posted on message boards liek caring bridge.</p><p>"there are groups, both face to face and online communities that support and encourage eachother. Caring bridge is just one of thousands, That's not even debatable, It's a fact! "</p><p>Again Jambles, you might have a point if anyone had said otherwise.  We aren't debating the FACT that online communities like that exists.</p><p>Shaking my head.</p>

The fact that both real life/face to face and online communities exist and are used is evidence on this debate board that many if not most families are thriving and at peace with ill/disabled children.  Thank you for recognizing that. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:44pm

Jambles, why do you think these *support groups* exist in the first place?

*********

Ducky

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:44pm
Jams wrote: "The fact that both real life/face to face and online communities exist and are used is evidence on this debate board that many if not most families are thriving and at peace with ill/disabled children. Thank you for recognizing that." ------------ No, not really. If anything it is evidence that people living in that situation are in dire need of support and counseling. That is why all those groups exist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:44pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>How familiar are you with caring bridge <em>cantbewrong</em>?</p><p><a href="http://www.caringbridge.org/" rel="nofollow">http://www.caringbridge.org/</a></p><p>And this nonsense, <em>most parents are all happy &amp; in bliss</em> I've never said. You really need to stop putting words in my mouth.  Thanks.</p><p> </p>

Yes I've used to, to get updates on a relative who was having surgery in another state.  Everybody could post well wishes to the patient on it.  And the parent can give everyones updates.  That site does not support what you are saying Jam.  And I did ASK YOU in my post about what you meant and you did not answer, as usual.  I will go by what you say and when I ask you if that's what you meant, and you don't answer i have to figure that's what you mean.  In this post in which you are saying you don't mean that, you  don't clarify what you mean.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:46pm
I don't know all the thousands of families that blog on caring bridge, No. I've also said there is no hard evidence to prove what real life families are going through outside what we do ourselves and who we know. If your image is that most are "utterly distraught" I don't agree.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:48pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
What's the motive behind the question.. I mean if I say I only know one does that make me less informed than someone that may know 100? FYI, I know a lot and I'm lucky there are groups, both face to face and online communities that support and encourage eachother. Caring bridge is just one of thousands, That's not even debatable, It's a fact!

Because parents NEED help in support groups to grapple with a tragedy of finding out that their beloved child will proably die soon means that many of these parents are at peace and in bliss (fantasy)?  Not because they are devastated and need help getting through helping their child, constantly dealing with doctors, constantly dealing with family & friends who don't know how to help (reality)?

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:51pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">litlmiss_cantbewrong</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;jamblessedthree&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;Kids I know striken with cancer and other terminal illness are there too, I do think there's a common link b/w them and their families however. I'd never come straight out and tell them that though.&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;You think families with autistic children are in general at peace and filled with bliss?  And you think families with children whose children have a terminal illness are at peace and in a blissful state also?  My experiencew would be the opposite.  I must be misunderstanding you--it's commonly known that these families are so assaulted with stress they have a very high rate of divorce.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Unless you have hard evidence to support this it's only your opinion.   And let me add that I have plenty of my own experience in families that are together and working through trials and that of their disabled and ill children.  Perhaps those you know with dismal family lives should surround themselves with others who are managing it well?  Heck, You should be a source for those resources yourself, You work in special ed, don't you? </p>

Not being at peace, or not being in a state of bliss is not synonomous with "dismal family life". Again, there is a world of gray between extremes. You and springy should try visiting gray sometimes.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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