!! Monday !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
!! Monday !!
168
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:52am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? 

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?

What's on your agenda this week?

 

 

 

 


 


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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:53pm

BTW, here's a good article with stats about the divorce rate in families with special needs kids.

 

http://drgrcevich.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/special-needs-and-divorce-what-does-the-data-say/

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:53pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
I don't know all the thousands of families that blog on caring bridge, No. I've also said there is no hard evidence to prove what real life families are going through outside what we do ourselves and who we know. If your image is that most are "utterly distraught" I don't agree.

I did post (when you asked for evidence) the hospice informatoin. Do you not find the hospice organization credible?  I think most parents would believe and understand on a gut level without any evidence that ANY other given parent would be utterly distraught if their child was dying.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:55pm

ducky1st89 wrote:
<p>Jambles, why do you think these *support groups* exist in the first place?</p>

It's family support for families going through the same things, They sources of peace and tranquility.  Another non-debatable point.  Do answer your own questions. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:55pm

Jambles, do you know what it's like to sit up with your child, night after night, when said child is in so much pain that there is litterally nothing that you can do to help her?  Do you know what it's like to be told that your child is not responding to treatment, the very treatment that is causing her pain, and that she will have to undergo more aggressive treatment.  Do you know what it's like to be told that your child will not be leaving the hospital alive?  Do you know how all of this effects the other children in your home?  Do you know about the challenges that face parents of an ill child, when they are trying to meet the needs of that child, and their other children, and their spouse...and their own needs?  Are you really going to tell me that families going through all of this and more are living in bliss?

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:55pm
I didn't send my kid to private school because of incompetent public school teachers. You are making that up. Anything in particular you want to debate, either about my decision to send my kid to private school or Catholic faith and doctrine?
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:56pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"Yes, it does support the point I made about the peace many families find in raising ill children." ------------ Not really. Do you know any of those families? I do. The caring bridge page is all about support and cheerleading and putting on a good face because grandma in Idaho will be reading it too. It does not mean that those parents are not utterly distraught IRL.

Also, if the families were blissful, then they wouldn't need caringbridge and other support communities, right?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for BeaArthurisMyReligion
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:58pm

If you only know a family with a terminally or critically ill child through what they present on caringbridge and other public sites then you only know part of the story.  My friend has a son with short bowel syndrome- a HORRIBLE condition that necessitates a central IV line at all time, puts her son at constant risk of infection, has him hospitalized multiple times a year and with the very real possibility of him not living a full life- he misses constant school and their life is a constant merry go roudn of hospitalizations and doctors and fear.. and through it all she's been chastized by friends who don't like it when she posts "downer" updates on her sons caringbridge site... they only want the posts about the sunny happy good little boy patient who is plucky.. not the ugly messy reality of vomit and infections on the line and fevers and siblings acting out b/c the sick kid gets all the attention and spouses who travel all the time and constant stress and worry.    Caringbridge can be great- I've used it myself when my friend Kim was dying - but it is only part of the story..  I wouldn't wish a critical, chronic or terminal illness of a child or family member on my worst enemy... it can rip a family apart.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:58pm
"It's family support for families going through the same things, They sources of peace and tranquility. Another non-debatable point." ------------- You can't be serious! If you go to a support group it means that you will be at peace and tranquil? I belong to a couple, online, and if it weren't unethical, I could cite a pile of examples to refute that point. Considering your field of study, I urge you to seek more information about this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 2:59pm
Evidently Caring Bridge makes everything A-OK. The path to self-acutalization appears to be dealing with the loss or serious illness of a child. In that case, I'm not interested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:03pm

BeaArthurisMyReligion wrote:
<p>If you only know a family with a terminally or critically ill child through what they present on caringbridge and other public sites then you only know part of the story.  My friend has a son with short bowel syndrome- a HORRIBLE condition that necessitates a central IV line at all time, puts her son at constant risk of infection, has him hospitalized multiple times a year and with the very real possibility of him not living a full life- he misses constant school and their life is a constant merry go roudn of hospitalizations and doctors and fear.. and through it all she's been chastized by friends who don't like it when she posts "downer" updates on her sons caringbridge site... they only want the posts about the sunny happy good little boy patient who is plucky.. not the ugly messy reality of vomit and infections on the line and fevers and siblings acting out b/c the sick kid gets all the attention and spouses who travel all the time and constant stress and worry.    Caringbridge can be great- I've used it myself when my friend Kim was dying - but it is only part of the story..  I wouldn't wish a critical, chronic or terminal illness of a child or family member on my worst enemy... it can rip a family apart.</p>

That's sad that her friends are like that.  Cariingbridge can be great for sharing information, but for another parent to look at that and assume that most parents are not in constant pain in this situation is extremely sad.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

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