!! Monday !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
!! Monday !!
168
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:52am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? 

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?

What's on your agenda this week?

 

 

 

 


 


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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:37pm

pumpkinangel wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;ducky1st89&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Jambles, why do you think these *support groups* exist in the first place?&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's family support for families going through the same things, They sources of peace and tranquility.  Another non-debatable point.  Do answer your own questions. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>No, they are not sources of peace and tranquility, they are sources of support...requests for prayers, updates and trying to understand the why of many things.  They are far from peace and tranquility.</p>

Not to mention, peace and tranquility can't come from *outside*.  That's totally an *internal* state; Peace and Tranquility MUST come from *within*.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:20pm
"Oh, and the cats. You mustn't forget the cats, Thardy." ---------- Just all a bit amusing coming from a housewife. At least Hammer does have a job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:14pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">rollmops2009</em> wrote:</div>"earned more than 75 college credits myself," ---------- They really ought to give you guys full degrees, considering what they put you through.</blockquote></p><p>And it's amounted to what?  The same night time shifts no one else wants.  The alone shift.  Hooray, time to buy another unusable dusty old sewing machine to not sew garments for her many friends and family.  Really valuable credits.  Not.</p>

Oh, and the cats.  You mustn't forget the cats, Thardy.

Could you get any more vicious and mean-spirited?  No wonder you didn't feel support from other women in the workplace.  Sheesh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:10pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Oh PKA, the whole private/public school debate is nothing new. We've been arguing that since you switched schools two or three times for you kid, Shrug...  Don't turn it around and attack the messenger, Defend your stand.  I don't agree that the place a kid is educated means a whole lot in the end, That's always been my position and you know that.  I also don't thiink my parents choice to catholic educate us for twelve years is debatable b/c they were confident in that choice, Comparing yourself to that is a new dig and unfair.  I question where your own confidence lies..</p>

So if you don't think that the place a kid is educated in means a lot in the end, why are you so hot and bothered about the places that PKA has used to educate her children?  I mean, if it really doesn't matter in the end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:03pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>Yes you have, bord. Maybe I'm confusing you saying it here for you saying it on the other debate board but it's out there.</blockquote></p><p>Yep, Jamblessed.  You are correct.  Bord, the great educator, earlier concluded autistic children are in a state of nirvana:</p><p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>  In that case, most everyone I know is "self-actualized." The "pretending/posing" bit usually wears off in high school or late teens, IME. I'm thinking that the most content/at peace person I ever observed was the severely autistic daughter of a friend, who at the age of three, had all if her needs met and was blissfully happy and at peace as long as she could sit by the window and sift puzzle pieces through her fingers. Funny how her patents lay siege to that particular state of nirvana.</blockquote></p><p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>  It means that her parents used every possible means they could think of to make her interact with a world she was perfectly content to ignore, because at some point, the parental gods would no longer be able to, or be around to, fulfill her every need so that she could remain on that state of perfect contentment.</blockquote></p><p>Talk about ignorance.</p>

I did not say that all autistic children are living in a state of nirvana.  I said that the closest that I ever came to seeing someone in a state of nirvana was the daughter of some people I know.  Here is what the mother wrote about the child as they came to recognize her disability.  You will see that the "nirvana" label is not my invention:

“I knew only that my fourth child was not like the others, who needed me and loved me, as I loved them.  The fairies had stolen away the human baby and left one of their own.  There she moved, every day, among us but not of us, acquiescent when we approached, untouched when we retreated, serene, detached, in perfect equilibrium.  Existing among us, she had her being elsewhere.  As long as no demands were made upon her, she was content.  If smiles and laugher mean happiness, she was happy inside the invisible walls that surrounded her.  She dwelt in a solitary citadel, compelling and self-made, complete and valid.  Yet we could not leave her there.  We must intrude, attack, invade, not because she was unhappy inside it, for she was not, but because the equilibrium she had found, perfect as it was, denied the possibility of growth.  We had not demanded; now we must.  We had accepted; now we must try to change.  A terrible arrogance, for what had we to offer her?  Which of us could call ourselves as content as Elly was?  The world we would tempt her into was the world of risk, failure, and frustration, of unfulfilled desire, of pain as well as activity and love.  There in Nirvana, why should she ever come out?  Yet she was ours as well as her own, and we wanted her with us.  If what we had to offer was not enough, we had nothing beside it.  Confronted with a tiny child’s refusal of life, all existential hesitations evaporate.  We had no choice.  We would use every stratagem we could invent to assail her fortress, to beguile, entice, seduce her into the human condition.”

In fact, the second book that the mother wrote about her daughter is called "Exiting Nirvana," and Jessy's book of art is called "Illustrating Nirvana."

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:01pm
:D
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:59pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Oh PKA, the whole private/public school debate is nothing new. We've been arguing that since you switched schools two or three times for you kid, Shrug...  Don't turn it around and attack the messenger, Defend your stand.  I don't agree that the place a kid is educated means a whole lot in the end, That's always been my position and you know that.  I also don't thiink my parents choice to catholic educate us for twelve years is debatable b/c they were confident in that choice, Comparing yourself to that is a new dig and unfair.  I question where your own confidence lies..</p>

I know it's nothing new and your passive agressive stance and lack of debate on this issue is also nothing new.  That you post it at irrelevant times is very telling on your part to divert from a current debate. I have defended my stand, multiple times and question not the messanger but the attacker and why you choose to attack based on that topic?  If you think that a place that a kid is educated doesn't mean a whole lot then your constant passive agressive comments about how my kids are educated confusing, not to mention uncalled for on your part.  If my choice on schools is debatable and you constantly compare that to your parents, then yes...that choice is also debatable and all the digs you make about private school is relevant to that decision.

Me saying that part of the choice is faith based is nothing new Jams, they have attended faith based schools for all but one year between the two of them and I am confident in that choice as well and have been for a lot of years Jams, a lot of years.  Nothing has changed in my stance on why I chose the path I did for my kids, not a single thing. 

I question your lies and your personal attacks.  If you want to debate public versus private, I'm all for it...start another thread, answer the questions and stop the personal attacks.   If you continue to p/s drop this subject into other debates, expect me to call you on that nonsense.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:46pm

thardy2001 wrote:
And it's amounted to what?  The same night time shifts no one else wants.  The alone shift.  Hooray, time to buy another unusable dusty old sewing machine to not sew garments for her many friends and family.  Really valuable credits.  Not.</p>

Laughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:46pm
LOL!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:44pm

thardy2001 wrote:
Why are you so angry?  You can't possibly know what it was like to grow up with the wonderful childhood Jamblessed has had nor to raise your son in the wonderful home Jamblessed and her devoted husband have always made for their beloved children.  </p>

I'm not angry at all, thard.  And at the risk of sounding ungrateful for the hypothetical opportunity, I would never have wanted to be raised by Jams parents, nor my son by Jams and her dh.  I love my parents and our awesome family and can't imagine anything better.  As for my son, I'm more than satisfied with how my ex and I raised him both while we were together and after he left me.  While I would never deny I would have preferred the ex and I to have stayed together back then, that doesn't change the fact that the ex has been a wonderful father and I definitely hit the jack pot in terms of having a reasonable ex to co parent with.

Thard, I can see that you are struggling mightily to find some way to either hurt my feelings or make me angry.  And I feel compelled to tell you that you are doomed to failure in both regards.  You simply don't have the means to make that happen.  I would have to actually care about your opinion of me for that to happen. I don't. 

But continue, if you must. I would never dream of stifling your need to be vicious. Laughing

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