!! Monday !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
!! Monday !!
168
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:52am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? 

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?

What's on your agenda this week?

 

 

 

 


 


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:15am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?</p><p>Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?</p><p>Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? </p><p>At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?</p><p>What's on your agenda this week?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>

About five, We were married in 1992 and our first daughter was born in 1997.  We wanted DH done with school first. 

No, Not really.  We probably saw more movies out than what we do now but I don't miss that and I think really good movies have really fallen by the wayside.  Dinners out and adventures away from home we do a lot more as a family now.

10 years ago DS was born which was a pleasant surprise.  20 years ago I would not have anticipated the twists and turns our lives have taken. 

Yes, I believe in it.  I am at a loss at what age/point. 

We may hit an amusement park with friends, My birthday is this week so it will be my pick for dinner, The kids have orthodontist appointments.  I have to decide on a Fall school schedule. 

ETA the answer to number two. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:20am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?</p><p>Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?</p><p>Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? </p><p>At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?</p><p>What's on your agenda this week?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>

1. Not married.  My child is grown.

2.  Nope.  There's nothing I did before kids that I don't do now that I wish I still did.  There are some new things I do, but that wasn't part of the question.

3. No, Thank God.  How boring would THAT be!!

4.  Makes no sense as a question to me.

5. Lots of stuff.  Thanks for asking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:21am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?</p><p>Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?</p><p>Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? </p><p>At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?</p><p>What's on your agenda this week?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>

We were married 16 months, almost to the day when DD1 was born.

No

20 years ago would have been 1993. DH was active duty Air Force with  2 more assignments in our future.   I had no idea where we would be at in 20 year time, no idea where we we would living, what kind of jobe we would have etc.  Actually at that point I was still a SAHM and had no idea if I would return to the work force.  10 year ago would have been 2003,  the only thing different from what I would have expected is my job.  I took the job  because is worked so well with havng a family.   I kind of expected that when my nest became empty and that became less important I would look for something else.  Since with the journey we are one having a job that works well with family is so much more important I am grateful that I never made that change. It is so much easier telling my boss when I will be off rather than asking of I can take off.

I do not know exactly what that means.

Should be a fairly easy week at work.,  Chemo on Thursday, dentist apppointment on Friday. ball game on Saturday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:27am
1). We waited just over a year to start trying for a baby. We headed over to Europe for fifteen months right after we got married, and I didn't really want to deal with being pregnant while we were over there. 2) When the kids were little, sometimes I missed the freedom to come and go as I pleased, but that is no longer an issue. 3). Pretty much 4). I think it's a mistake to think of self-actualizarion as something you achieve, like a state of nirvana, once and for all. Life is a process of growing, changing, becoming. You're never done, and most of the time, it isn't about you, anyway. 4). It's a week of goodbyes. Two memorial services for remarkable people; my best friend closes on her house this week and is moving out of state. Back to work after two weeks of vacation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:42am
This leaves me wondering what lies ahead in the next 10 years, Lol. I will have a 25 year old, 24 year old and 20 year old, Wowzers! But I'd like to get into something I really want to do too, partly why I've chosen to return to school.

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:43am
We didn't wait, we were already old, and if we hadn't planned to have a kid, there would be no particular reason to be married at that point.When people talk about "self actualization" I tend to roll my eyes, but it is certainly important to feel happy and satisfied with your life. This week I have a work project I want to finish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:53am

bordwithyou wrote:
1). We waited just over a year to start trying for a baby. We headed over to Europe for fifteen months right after we got married, and I didn't really want to deal with being pregnant while we were over there. 2) When the kids were little, sometimes I missed the freedom to come and go as I pleased, but that is no longer an issue. 3). Pretty much 4). I think it's a mistake to think of self-actualizarion as something you achieve, like a state of nirvana, once and for all. Life is a process of growing, changing, becoming. You're never done, and most of the time, it isn't about you, anyway. 4). It's a week of goodbyes. Two memorial services for remarkable people; my best friend closes on her house this week and is moving out of state. Back to work after two weeks of vacation.

Self actualization is very real in the psychology world and it's a theory professionals in the field defend.  I agree it isn't something an individual recognizes in him/herself but I do see it as a point of peace instead of chasing some inflated dream or goal anymore. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:00am
"Self-actualizarion" is also a term that psychology professional reject or contest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:07am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?  We were married in 2002, and DD was born in 2006.

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?  Spontaneity.  We can do pretty much everything we enjoyed doing pre-kids, but now we have to plan to be able to do many of them. 

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? It's similar to what I thought it would be 10 years ago.  20 years ago, I thought I wouldn't be married until I was at least 30 and that I would be a doctor.

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?  I believe it's a theory.  I have no opinions on it.

What's on your agenda this week?  Work, housework, and Friday afternoon off of work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:08am
I guess the time when I am not working to realize some goal, or learn something new, will be on my deathbed. On the other hand, there have been very few times in my life when I wasn't also "at peace." When I wasn't, I figured out what was disturbing me, and I fixed it.

Pages