!! Monday !!

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
!! Monday !!
168
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:52am

If you are married, How many years did you wait- if any - to have children after getting married?

Are there any things you miss doing before kids?  If so, what?

Is your life now what you expected it would be 10 or 20 years ago? 

At what point do you self actualize?  Do you believe in it?

What's on your agenda this week?

 

 

 

 

 

Pages

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:39pm
"But when life hands you something so outside your control its even more the time to find peace in it. I think you'd rather defend your own stance than appreciate the wonderful communities that are out there, and that's a shame actually!" ------------- What exactly do you think "my stance" is? Of course it is good if people can find peace during difficult circumstances. That sort of statement is called a "truism." The fact that there are tons of support groups for people in these situations indicates that finding peace is extremely difficult and a long process for most people. To suggest otherwise is callous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:40pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Jambles, your comment about not judging a special-needs parent is an outright lie, since you've spent plenty of time judging me for the way we've handled our special needs son. You'd better fix that, cuz of right now, you're just as in eligible for the sacrament of Eucharist in your church as I am.</blockquote></p><p>Wow bord.  Your choice to school your kid at a private school b/c of incompetent public school teachers ( --&gt; your words not mine! ) is debatable, So is your knowledge of the catholic faith and doctrine. </p>

Really?  That's confusing because you never actually debate those issues, just comments like the above while ignoring questions and comments.  I haven't actually seen you debate these issues, just use them as judgements against parents...

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:42pm
Are families that are faced with terminal illness distraught at every turn? Of course not. Many find peace and joy in the little things, they count their blessings with every little bit of good news, they have hope and are often inspiring...but that's just a glimpse into their life, and quite frankly, nobody wants to go through the *trouble* of having an inspiring story.

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:42pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
The fact of the matter is their days are eased by support groups and relationships ...</p>

Which refutes your claims that people in these circumstances are uniformly at peace and tranquil about the situation rather soundly.  There's nothing to be eased in a life which is at peace and tranquil.  Your criticism of Ducky just seem churlish in light of that.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:42pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"But when life hands you something so outside your control its even more the time to find peace in it. I think you'd rather defend your own stance than appreciate the wonderful communities that are out there, and that's a shame actually!" ------------- What exactly do you think "my stance" is? Of course it is good if people can find peace during difficult circumstances. That sort of statement is called a "truism." The fact that there are tons of support groups for people in these situations indicates that finding peace is extremely difficult and a long process for most people. To suggest otherwise is callous.

Then we agree, There are people at peace with ill children!  The communities speak for themselves and I'm privleged to know a lot of the families that are there.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:44pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">rollmops2009</em> wrote:</div>Jams wrote: "The fact that both real life/face to face and online communities exist and are used is evidence on this debate board that many if not most families are thriving and at peace with ill/disabled children. Thank you for recognizing that." ------------ No, not really. If anything it is evidence that people living in that situation are in dire need of support and counseling. That is why all those groups exist.</blockquote></p><p>You mean consoling.  Counseling is certainly a program many are in/many are getting too. </p>

Rollmops grasp of English is demonstrably stronger than yours; she meant counseling.  If she had meant consoling, she would have said so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:44pm
"you'd rather defend your own stance than appreciate the wonderful communities that are out there" Not one single person has denied that these wonderful communities exist. Not one, Jambles. Do you even know what you're debating?

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:44pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
What's the motive behind the question.. I mean if I say I only know one does that make me less informed than someone that may know 100? FYI, I know a lot and I'm lucky there are groups, both face to face and online communities that support and encourage eachother. Caring bridge is just one of thousands, That's not even debatable, It's a fact!

I'm familiar with Caring Bridge, it's a support network and belonging to a support network doesn't mean one has found peace in caring for someone who is ill, there is a lot that goes on behind Caring Bridge that isn't put out there for the public to use in debates.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:47pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>Yes you have, bord. Maybe I'm confusing you saying it here for you saying it on the other debate board but it's out there.</blockquote></p><p>Yep, Jamblessed.  You are correct.  Bord, the great educator, earlier concluded autistic children are in a state of nirvana:</p><p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>  In that case, most everyone I know is "self-actualized." The "pretending/posing" bit usually wears off in high school or late teens, IME. I'm thinking that the most content/at peace person I ever observed was the severely autistic daughter of a friend, who at the age of three, had all if her needs met and was blissfully happy and at peace as long as she could sit by the window and sift puzzle pieces through her fingers. Funny how her patents lay siege to that particular state of nirvana.</blockquote></p><p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>  It means that her parents used every possible means they could think of to make her interact with a world she was perfectly content to ignore, because at some point, the parental gods would no longer be able to, or be around to, fulfill her every need so that she could remain on that state of perfect contentment.</blockquote></p><p>Talk about ignorance.</p>

I guess thardy.  I think some, including her find more fun playing sides than fair and intelligent debate. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 3:47pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">ducky1st89</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;"What's the motive behind the question.. I mean if I say I only know one does that make me less informed than someone that may know 100? "&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Well Jambles, b/c there is a lot more to life with an ill child than what gets posted on message boards liek caring bridge.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;"there are groups, both face to face and online communities that support and encourage eachother. Caring bridge is just one of thousands, That's not even debatable, It's a fact! "&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Again Jambles, you might have a point if anyone had said otherwise.  We aren't debating the FACT that online communities like that exists.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Shaking my head.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>The fact that both real life/face to face and online communities exist and are used is evidence on this debate board that many if not most families are thriving and at peace with ill/disabled children.  Thank you for recognizing that. </p>

No, it's the opposite...if all of these families were at peace, they wouldn't need a support network.  If parents were at peace, they wouldn't need support to get through these tough issues.

PumpkinAngel

Pages