OK, ladies it has been a week...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
OK, ladies it has been a week...
25
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 7:22pm

I am doing allright. I had to switch words because I have used doing fine so much. I am alone for the first time in months. The kids are with my mother visiting their aunt and uncle. Everyone is really worried but I have enjoyed the peace and quiet. I am cross stitching tonight and watching Kate and Leopold, Anger Mangement and Law and Order SVU.


I am taking next week off of work to just be. I feel kinda of lost-I have been so busy taking care of everyone else that I missed myself. I went to the doctor this week and found out I have a sinus infection and an UTI. I didn't even know about the sinus infection. I plan to sleep late and read and try to settle some of the estate business.


I found out that I get to keep Devin's health insurance free for a year. That is a wonderful benefit I knew nothing about. I don't know how much his life insurance is but it will all work out in the end. Everything else has. I have to also call Social Security and get them to do the paperwork for the kids. Hopefullly, it will be enough to make the house payment.


I really feel at peace. I think it is freaking people out that I am so calm. I am just so glad he didn't suffer for a long time. Also, I feel like I have been through hell and I am on the other side of it. I am frightened of being alone and being a stressed out single mother. I am so unstressed right now though that I think it will be allright. I miss him but I couldn't bear to see him suffering.


The kids are doing allright too. I have to call and get bereavement counselling for them. I found a letter that Zak wrote to Santa asking that Daddy gets better. It broke my heart.

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 7:46pm
I'm so glad you checked in with us, Kristi. I guess you deserve this calm after all you've dealt with these past weeks. God's peace to you and your children in these coming weeks; the grief will have to pass as it always does--in its own time--but may you have the peace that will temper it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 9:03pm
If I may be so bold....I am sure you are feeling a mixture of sadness at the loss but also relief that Devin's and yours ordeal is over. That is a lot to live with for 7 years and the last few months seemed to be the longest.

Enjoy your solitude. Enjoy your calm. Unlike a tragic accident, you had plenty of time to plan for this and grieve throughout the process.

I know you will do right by the children. AND if you weren't a stressed out Mom you'd be super mom, we all know she just doesn't exist. :-} (Heck I have children stress daily!) The big thing to remember is keep your support system now that you are a single mother and USE IT! Take a day off when you can. Don't feel guilty, the boys probably need a day off from you too! LOL.

You are in my thoughts! I know you'll be fine.(better than fine, you are a survivor.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 10:09pm

Well, I know I am not superMom so I guess I will just have to quit trying! Actually, Zak and I are alot alike which has caused problems before. We tend to bump heads at each other. Devin was our peace maker. We are learning to adjust and I am learning to let things go. He is 7-his room is going to be a mess and he is going to lose things. Heck, I am 28 and my room is a mess and I had to call my cell phone to find it today.


I am taking the week off while the kids go to school. Monday, Zak and I are spending a day to ourselves. I might take him to the Country Music Hall of Fame and ice skating. We are going to see Cheaper by the Dozen and eat at some fast food place. It will be lots of fun!

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it"

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 10:39pm

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 1:02am
Hi kristi. ive said it before and i will say it again, you are an amazing person. i know everything is new to you, and i am glad to hear you are just relaxing and spending time with *you*. that is probably very important to yourself and your children. how lucky for you having someone who is "in the same boat" and understands what you are feeling, and can hold each other up when needed. thank you for sharing your experiences and as usual, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 2:42pm
Love you too.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 3:56pm
{{Heck, I am 28 and my room is a mess and I had to call my cell phone to find it today.}}

LOL, you made me spit coffee on the screen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 8:59pm
Oh, p&j, what a kind offer! lets see how can i help? i can tell her some of the funny stuff that happens in this house, and get her to laugh!! im pretty good at that.....LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 11:54pm
(((((Kristi)))))) Your grace and strength continue to amaze and inspire me. May God and peace be with you. I'm praying for you and the boys. Hugs, Christi
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 6:49am

You are so strong, and you let yourself cry.

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

Pages