OT- Wedding gifts

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
OT- Wedding gifts
47
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 1:55pm
I was talking with my sil and she posts on some other website and the question came up about monetary wedding gifts...how much do you give?

My answer was $100. That's always what we give. She said the average on the site was $30-40!! I was really surprised...must be a lot of people attending potluck weddings! lol.

Anyway, what do you think? Or do you avoid money all together and go with a gift from the registry? What about highschool graduations? Money or gift?

Meldi

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 2:47pm
I will be attending a wedding in July. I will be buying a present probably in the $50 range. I have only given $100 once that for a nephew's wedding. I probably will do the same as other nieces and nephews marry but not for others.

For high school gradutaions I give money. $50 for nieces and nephews. $20 for others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 2:59pm
We sort of go by the rule that we should pay for our plate plus extra. So, the $100 is for the couple. Is that common in other areas of the country? We are in Michigan now, but it was the same when I lived in RI.

Meldi
Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 3:11pm
I have heard others say that the present should be at least as much as the meal. But I have never gone by that. The meal and the present are two completely different issues. The cost of the meal is based on what the host of the wedding can afford/wants to spend. The cost of the present is based on what the guest can afford/wants to spend. I have never attended a wedding where meals were that costly. Never attended a potluck dinner, all have been buffets.



I grew up in Michigan (and my family still lives there). At no time when I was living there (or since leaving) have I heard anyone there talk about a connection between the meal and the present. That is only something I have heard since coming on chat boards. The present was alway based on the finances of the guest and the closeness to the couple.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 3:26pm

It depends. I usually buy a gift from the registry, but have been known to do gift certificates too. I dont ever give cash. I usually spend $50-75 unless its a close friend, then I will spend at least $100.


Kind of the same with graduation $$. If I give cash, unless it someone we are very close to, its $50. Or a gift cert to somewhere fun for about that amount.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 3:38pm

I don't typically give money for any occasion.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 4:53pm
I always give money as gifts for hs graduation and weddings, however, it depends on how "close" we are to the family as to how much we give. if someone is getting married, usually friends we give $50, but family we give $100. i guess it just depends on how we are financially at the time, also. hs graduation is $25, except for family. i sent my cousin's son $100 because my cousin raised her kids pretty much by herself, doesnt have much, and is one of the most awesome moms i know in the whole world. she also sent my kids monetary gifts when they graduated, and i didnt expect her to at all. kids can use the money as well as newlyweds, so i feel it is a much appreciated gift.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: meldi
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:58am
I usually buy a gift from the registry and spend $50-$100, depending on how well we know the couple. We do sometimes give cash. Dh's cousin's wedding was the last one we went to, and I think we gave her $100.

For graduations, we usually give cash - again, $50-$100.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
In reply to: meldi
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:18pm

I usually buy a gift - and normally spend around $100.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: meldi
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:37am
Weddings usually cash...typically $100 possibly more depending on who's getting married. I despise registries and don't even buy off of them for showers. I usually shop waaayyyy off the "menu" but within the style/taste categories. How can it be a surprise when you specified what you wanted? I understand these things are needed but, I just think registeries are tacky....come to my party but first buy me this. How about changing the registry idea to "guidelines" instead of actual sku's......

Graduation...if the graduate is attending another undergrad/grad school I like to get items with that school's logo. I go online for out of state schools or actually to go the school bookstore if it's here. If they're done....I try to buy something specific to the discipline that they studied....teaching, engineering..etc. I typically spend $50 or so.

edited for a spelling "oops"


Edited 6/21/2004 7:40 am ET ET by mapana

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: meldi
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:06am
Funny that you mention the "cost of attending the wedding" itself. Just this past year I was in a friend's wedding and it was one of those destination weddings. We all had to go to Mexico, buy our dresses, host the shower and the bachelorette party, etc. I still felt guilty because I didn't buy them a gift.

What do you think of those destination weddings? I'm going to have to be in another one in about a year...go to Jamaica, fly my mom out to stay with the kids...I'm not saying that it won't be fun, but maybe we can't always afford *fun*, kwim?

Meldi
Meldi

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