Paying someone to go to college?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Paying someone to go to college?
9
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 3:35pm
The "paying someone to SAH" discussion has made me think about the terms of my own kids' college funds. We've been putting money away -- should be done in six months, thank God!!! -- and have borrowed an idea from my uncle. We have told the kids that if they go to college, the money is there for it, but they must use it by the time they are thirty. If they wait past then, we may or may not pay for it. And if they want to use the money for something else, they'll have to convince us. I told them if they don't use the money, I'm going on a six month cruise, lol.....

Is that "bribing" them to go to college in a timely manner, or is that telling them that, "if that's the path you choose, I want you to know the money is there." It's not intended to be or presented as a gift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 3:42pm
IMO- the second part.

Our savings are in a 549 (is that the right one? I need some coffee...) so they'll have to use it for school (or not use it at all).

And I don't consider it a "bribe" because the money will be used up for school. If I said, "I'll give you $5000 to spend as you wish if you go to college" then it's a bribe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 3:54pm
I have a friend who operates on that very idea. He is saving for his children's education BUT he is making them pay for it first. He will pay off their loans or other expenses once they graduate. His thinking is this is not their inheritance. College is something he is willing to pay for once they graduate. I realize by going this route he can not take advatage of a 529 plan ect but he is assured that the $$ will either be used for their education or not used by them at all.
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 6:13pm
We haven't told our kids anything about how much college costs. We will have enough money to send all three kids to college. However, if they choose not to go the money is ours. If they don't go to college we will keep it. They each have money in their own names. That money is thiers to keep.

We don't intend to bribe them. We would like to provide a college education for each child. We have put away money for that purpose. If they choose a different course we keep the money. It's ours.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 8:18pm
I don't think it's bribing. I happen to think I owe my kids an education but I don't owe them the money for one if they don't use it for one. My dd's college funds have the stipulation that they must be used for some sort of schooling. I haven't decided if I'll just keep the money myself or pass it on to my grand kids if they should decide not to go to school but they won't get it. I don't owe my kids cash. I owe them an education but if they don't take me up on the offer to pay for one, what I do with the money that would have been used is my business.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 9:19pm
Quite frankly in Canada it is far more sensible for a student to go to college on government student loans. I didn't save for my eldest child's university education and she had to borrow. She took one year off school to work and save some money (which is a requirement to be considered independent from parents). She received in excess of $20,000 per year for tuition and living costs over 4 years. I believe her total loans and grants were 110K. I agreed to pay her loans (in lieu of the college fund). Total owing was just shy of $20K which I withdrew from proceeds of other investments (not principal - just dividends). So, my savings had that 4 years to earn interest/dividends. Remissions are getting bigger every year - along with the cost of higher education. Government education savings plans (in Canada anyway)are a hoaxe (IMO). Folks buy into the tax incentives, which are so minimal it makes no sense to go that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 9:26pm
I wouldn't call it a bribe at all. I would call it money to go to college. I think it is a great idea to give them until they are 30. It is my belief that I can give my children money for any purpose that I agree with. I would not just hand them a huge sum of money to do as they wish. Of course once dh and I die anything we have will be split among them and if they are adults we would not specify in our wills how they spend it. But as long as I am alive if I am contributing to them financially I have complete control over how it is spent. Maybe I am controlling, but I want to know where my hard earned money is going! I believe that since it is my money, I have every right to say how I will spend it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 6:37pm
Well, we weren't going to be able to pay all of John's tuition, but between my ex, my son and I, we were all going to split his tuition 3 ways. He barely passed his first semester, dropped out entirely his second semester and didn't even bother registering for what would have been his third semester. Since then, however, starting with the 4th semester after he graduated high school, he began going again, paying for all of it himself.

He has a 4.0 average. Granted, he's only taking 2 classes a semester (although the past 2, he's only had one, because each time the college has cancelled one for lack of enrollment), but he's doing it on his terms, and on his dime....and he's doing far better (and even seems to be enjoying it more) than he ever did when he was only responsible for 1/3 of the bill.

So...I dunno what to tell you....enjoy yourr cruise? ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:25pm
I'm already planning my ports-of-call, lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:51pm
Why do you say this? I'm in Canada and have RESPs for my kids. I find it doubtful there will be enough money saved in them for a full ride through a 4 year university, but I still think they are a good investment.

Carrie