A question for co-sleepers

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
A question for co-sleepers
19
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:18pm
Our 1 year old dd co-sleeps with us and unless she's *really* tired and falls asleep before she is put in bed, she will go to sleep only if I or my dh is in bed with her. I want to have her try to fall asleep on her own, but I am wondering how I would do that if she's not in her crib? That is, she doesn't really consider the edges of the bed as boundaries and will just fall right off if she's left there by herself. I can stay cose by but that, IMO, defeats the purpose. I was thinking about putting railing on the sides, but the ones I've seen are pretty low and my dd will surely climb over it. I guess the best thing may have been to avoid this whole issue by not starting to co-sleep, but since it's too late, I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:34pm
We co-sleep (and slimshady is horrified!) with our 22 month old. He falls asleep in his crib and then, when he wakes up, he gets in bed with us. Also, if he has trouble getting to sleep, then we put him in bed with us.

He will cry alittle in the crib but settles down pretty quickly. If he cries more than 15 minutes, we go get him. I can not stand to hear him cry. Where does she take naps? Alex takes naps in his crib and that is what has saved us.

I personally would start putting her in the crib at night so she can get used to it. If she cries longer than 10 or so minutes, then I would go get her. It will get her used to the crib at least.

Both of ours have co-slept. My eldest did until he was about 4. He will still get into bed with us when he is scared or DH is traveling to doctor appts. Alex will probably be in there until he is four or so. He is a cuddle-bunny.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:46pm
I think my problem is that she hasn't slept in her crib (naps or at night) since she was about 3 months old. She takes naps on the couch. She will wake up right away if she's put in her crib. I've tried to put her in her crib at night and she cried for a long time and tried to climb out of the crib. It was the most pathetic thing because she obviously couldn't climb out and kept putting her leg up the railing trying.

We started co-sleeping because her eczema was so bad that she would scratch her entire body to the point of bleeding. we'd hold her hands while sleeping and that controlled the scatching. Her eczema's better but she's gotten so used to having us there.

I will try the crib again this week . I hope it works out better than the last try.

Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:54pm
Alex hasn't climbed out of his crib yet but DH says it is because he is never there. We always turn the light on for him and play music. The music helps alot. We have a crib attachment that play music and it has lights that play on the ceiling. He loves it. You might want to move the mattress up, also.

We have not gotten a toddler bed yet because I know he will climb out and wander around his room. I am dreading the day he climbs out of his crib. I have a friend that has kept all 3 of her children in cribs until they were 3. I find that amazing. Zak was climbing out at 23 months!

I hope it works this week. I also hope her eczema is better-poor baby.

KG

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:00pm
My DD has never fallen off the bed. We put her in the middle and even if she moves a lot she has a lot of space. One of us usually lays down with her at her bedtime w/ the lights off and she is OUT within minutes.

For her naps, the Nanny tells her its time to sleep and my DD climbs on the bed by herself, grabs her pillow and sleeps for three hours! But we have never "trained" her...I guess we just follow her cues and do accordingly. We join her in bed at about 11 pm.

She just turned two by the way.

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:06pm
Neither one of my kids could ever stand a crib. They both spent the first several months in a moses basket next to our bed (usually they started out in the basket for naps and in the evenings and then moved into our bed at some point in the night). After they outgrew the basket, they ended up mostly in our bed. When I tried to get them to at least start out the night in a crib, it was an unmitigated disaster. What ended up working for us is getting a futon for the floor of their room. We did this with ds when he was about 11 months old and dd when she was a bit older. We made sure that everything in the room was safe and then put a safety gate at the door (effectively creating a giant crib, if you know what I mean). The futon worked perfectly because I could lay down with them until they fell asleep, just as they had been used to doing in our bed and they slept much better (usually until 1 or 2 am) than they ever had in the crib. They both took to the futon immediately, loved it for naps and adjusted to using it at night without any problems. It worked great for our sanity as well because while we didn't mind them ending up in our bed in the middle of the night, we really liked having the evenings in bed to ourselves.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:10pm
You are lucky! My dd actually *has* fallen out of bed once (shamed to admit, but true). It usually takes her about 30 minutes to fall asleep once we get in bed with her, and she only naps after a bottle, on the couch. I know... tsk tsk...

Maybe she'll understand the concept of falling asleep on her own when she gets a little older.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:43pm
The only reason Petey got a bed just before he turned 3 was that he was night potty trained and occasionally had to pee. If he was in diapers, you'd better believe he'd still be in the crib.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 5:04pm
I've co-slept w/ my kids pretty much since I had the oldest and this is how it goes down for me. When the baby was a little baby she'd usually fall asleep before me and the oldest and I'd put her in bed and put pillows around the edge of the bed. My bed is against a wall so I only had to worry about one side. She never fell out. Now I put them both in bed at bedtime and go downstairs and read, clean or watch tv. I usually put PBS kids on for them to watch a cartoon show before bed and instruct my oldest dd to turn off the tv after the program is finished which she does. When I come up to bed at 11:30 they are long past sleep. However if I didn't tell her to turn the tv off, my oldest would stay awake. You have to force her to sleep or else she can stay up all night long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 11:43am
I dont know, my ds is 4 and still falls out of bed sometimes, lol! Maybe that comes from co-sleeping, I dont know! I can only tell you what we did, dont know if it will work, but we put a toddler bed in our bedroom with us. It was right at the foot of our bed (and it had a railing) so that ds could still see us and get to us if he needed to, etc. We did this when he was about 2 and he got right into the habit of sleeping there. He still often liked me to lay near him in my bed while he was falling asleep (which really, is fine with me. I think its kind of scary for a little person to be left all alone in a room in the dark), but it freed me to be able to get up after he was asleep and not worry about him falling out of the big bed, etc.

I would like to add, for all those that swear that if you let your child co-sleep it will never end, they'll never learn to sleep on their own, etc.-we recently moved into a new house. Ds, who always slept in our room from birth, decided he wanted to sleep in his own room! He absolutely loves his new room, and went from sleeping with us to sleeping there without ONE word of complaint. There was no power struggle because we let him decide when he was ready. For all the naysayers, its funny that both my kids co-slept and both now sleep just fine in their own rooms with no issues or complaints....

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 11:47am
We didn't do complete co-sleeping after about age 1 (they stayed in our room and mostly in our bed up to that point). We started the kids in their own beds in their own room, but always allowed them into our bed when the woke up in the middle of the night. Somewhere around age 2.5, ds suddenly decided he liked his bed more than ours and stayed there and he has had no problem going to sleep on his own since. We are still working on dd :-).


Laura

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