To Rant or Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
To Rant or Debate
68
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 8:15am

in keeping with the tone of what GREATFULMOM shared, neighor kid who comes over to play with my 7 YO has assaulted me once again.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 8:48am
After a similar experience vicariously through a friend, I would say trust your instincts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 9:05am

First, I don't think that counts as an assault against you.


Second, you've approached the mother once, with less than stellar results.


Third, the kid has exhibited poor behavior on numerous times. While some of it may be just typical boy stuff, it's still undesirable behavior. At the least the boy should recognize that and apologize.


So, I'd say just don't have the kid over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 9:58am
I would either not allow him over, or make sure to supervise the entire time he is there. That could mean no playing in the bedrooms, have them play somewhere you can watch them while he is there.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 10:04am
Was this child alone in the bedroom when the accident happened, or withone of your kids? What were they doing that led to the ceiling fan being broken? Was your child, if one of your kids was there, also engaged in the activity that led to the fan being broken?
Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 10:09am

I just wouldn't let him play inside the house anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 10:10am

the last time the fan broke, i got the same kind of flack from this boy, i didn't dooo it, blah, blah.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 10:14am

Is there anywhere to hang out upstairs if they do go up there? I have been known to be suspicious of too much rough housing, and find a reason to be cleaning nearby, or peek in a door crack to learn more about what is going on. We also have a "keep the door open" policy when we are worried about them doing something they are not allowed to do.

I can see getting lax on a rule after only one incident, but after two it's starting to look like it might be a pattern. Is he over or wanting to come over a lot, or is this just once in a while?

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Photobucket


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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 10:21am

"what am i to say, no, my kid cant' play with YOU."

Not exactly worded it that way.

You cannot control other people but you can control your household.

So when a child does something you do not agree with you can not only send them home but you can set up a time limit for when they can return to the house again. "You can come back in a week" etc. You can do that each and every time there is an incident.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 12:01pm
I have two rambunctious boys and they have rambunctious friends, and while the majority of the time they are generally respectful, stuff happens...windows get broken, carpets get stained, CDs get left on the floor and stepped on, PSP players get thrown in the pool, whatever. I have found the best way to turn something like that into a teachable moment is to use a very calm tone, and simply ask the kids all together, "tell me about the broken window." Usually they will hem and haw for awhile until one of them admits that they were being totally careless and swinging big sticks around and lot control of one and it smashed up against the window. That Hunter was holding the stick at the time, but it could have been any one of them, really, because they were all playing too rrough too close to the window. I will tell them that they are forgiven but ask them what they will do next time to make sure my house isn't damaged. They are usually good about recognizing what needs to be done diferently the next time that they are playing. We have had scores of kids play over here in the years of the boys growing up, and only two children who have not agreed to follow our house rules so I have had to tell them they cannot come back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 12:14pm

the pull/chain only broke this time.

 

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