To Rant or Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
To Rant or Debate
68
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 8:15am

in keeping with the tone of what GREATFULMOM shared, neighor kid who comes over to play with my 7 YO has assaulted me once again.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 12:40am

So basically, you're not looking for a long-term solution, you just want to place blame and forbid the kid to ever come to your house again.

So do that.

On the other hand, if what you're looking for is not just all of the above, but for everyone to circle 'round you and chant about what an awful kid he is, I think you've mistaken this board for something else.

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Kitty

"Adultery isn't a mistake. It is a choice to give your loins greater importance than your dignity." --From the Awesome Files of B

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************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 12:43am

You can either teach him the word "gentle" or you can whine about how he doesn't know what it is on the internet.

personally, I don't think teaching him sounds all that difficult. Especially since you ALSO don't want to tell your kid he can't play with this boy that you clearly detest.

At SOME point, you're going to have to do something you plainly dislike doing. Seems like teaching this horrible horrible horrible child what "gentle" is, is the easiest option of all the ones you hate.

************

Kitty

"Adultery isn't a mistake. It is a choice to give your loins greater importance than your dignity." --From the Awesome Files of B

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 12:57am

This is actually my parenting pet peeve, parents who think they know their kids well enough to know that if certain things occur, it could not have been their child doing it. As a child, I had a neighbor who blamed me for everything because she was so sure her little angel would never do it, since she did not do it when I wasn't around. The reality was that her little angel knew if she did it by herself, she'd get in trouble, if she did it with a sibling, she'd be told on, but if she did it while I was there, she had someone to blame.

Ha! You've reminded me of an incident that happened years ago at my Mom's house. John was.... oh, 9 or 10? My parents had planned to take an early retirement from the Government, but the first Gulf War had just broken out, Dad worked in Materiel (ordnance) and his early retirement got put on hold. Unfortunately, they'd already sold their house in Virginia and bought the house in Illinois, so Mom retired and moved back to Illinois and Dad got an apartment in Virginia for the duration.

it being the first Easter at the new house in Illinois and most of my family being in or near there, John and I traveled out to Illinois to join them in an impromptu Easter/family reunion. So all the nieces and nephews were there.

John's the oldest. Then my oldest sister's daughter, then my other sister's twins, then my oldest sister's son and my brother's older son was just a baby (and their 2nd son had not yet been born). The kids who were mobile/verbal were all downstairs playing around. Horsing around, truth be told. We could tell they were getting fairly rowdy, and at various times, my oldest sister or I would yell downstairs for them to chill out. Yes, we were totally doing the bad parenting thing. At one point my other sister went down stairs to confirm that HER children were golden angels amongst the heathens. ::::eyeroll:::

Well, soon enough (as I'm sure everyone has guessed by now) there came a loud crash and total dead silence. LOL. Nothing spells trouble like that. My oldest sister and her husband took point and went downstairs to see what happened. I forget now why the rest of us stayed upstairs--lazy, no doubt. I think Mom went down there, too. Anyway, the kids had been swinging on Mom's inside clothes line and pulled the entire bracket out of the wall stud. No real damage other than the clean clothes on the line needed to be rewashed again. My brother-in-law stayed down there to rehang the clothes line while Mom and my oldest sister grilled the kids to find out who was at fault. And it was all of them (they all confessed, btw, but basically it was the twins pointing fingers at my oldest sister's son, at which point both John AND my oldest sister's daughter jumping in and saying, "We were ALL playing on the clothesline. Even you." (and they agreed that was true). It was simply the one nephew who had been on it at the time it broke.

Anyway, they were all banished to various corners of the house for timeouts, except for the two oldest who were old enough to 1) help my BIL fix the clothesline and 2) start the wash for the clothes that had to be redone and 3) fold and put away the laundry that didn't need to be done.

It was at this point that my middle sister insisted her son (but not her daughter) could not POSSIBLY have done this because "He was reading his BIBLE."

My oldest sister let her finish out her rant about the unfairness of it all before quietly saying, "He said he did it, too."

Snerk.

When you have a roomful of kids and something breaks, you can rest assured that if any child there didn't actually DO the damage, it's only because it broke before they got their turn. ;)

Not that any of the above means much to the thread, but it was a funny story and I wanted to share :)

************

Kitty

"Adultery isn't a mistake. It is a choice to give your loins greater importance than your dignity." --From the Awesome Files of B

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Edited 6/24/2010 12:59 am ET by puss_boo_kay

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 5:21am

I enjoyed that.

I also have to add that IMO parents who want to identify a culprit in a room full of kids are increasing the odds that they end up with a tattler, and nothing drives me nuts more than the tattler. Break every knick-knack in my house, just don't come over every 2 minutes with that whining "he touched me. he broke it. he's not sharing"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 6:07am
interesting flip, a parent pet peeve.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 6:19am

LOL, i don't like to step into accusations among friends because it usually ends up a he said,s/he said,he did it first,no,s/he did it kind of thing.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 6:25am

forbiding the boy from coming over is what i'm

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 10:52am

i

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 1:00pm

wow, my accusations to this parent now, thanks.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 1:23pm

It was hard to tell from your post, but if this is a 10 yo coming to play with your 7 yo, I'd have a concern right there. Either don't have him over or supervise the entire time he's in your house.


And I totally get that having to supervise so closely defeats the purpose of a playdate, so if you do decide to have him in your house, do it sparingly.

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