To Rant or Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
To Rant or Debate
68
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 8:15am

in keeping with the tone of what GREATFULMOM shared, neighor kid who comes over to play with my 7 YO has assaulted me once again.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 3:15pm
thank you..the common interest this 10 YO has with my 7 YO are legos, those sophisticated kinds that are for ages 7-14+.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 8:34pm

Your kids may not be rambunctious (and I know what you're talking about, because mine aren't either), but NO 7 yo boy feels he has the moral authority to tell a 10 yo to stop doing whatever he's doing.


Both of my kids are devout Christians, very respectful of authority, but when they

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 9:31pm


?

My children are Christian too, but I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. They age appropriately question authority, e.g. stranger danger as youngsters, more discerning as a tween and teens. As a former Catholic, I have made sure that my children do not blindly respect their elders in the church or any other authoritative positions. I personally find that a dangerous parenting practice. They are, of course, respectful to authority figures, but I also hope they have the tools to determine that some in position of authority are not to be followed without question (teacher, coach, etc). As for peer pressure, we link the consequences of their behavior directly with their friends behavior. If their friends flout our rules in our home, then our kids reap the punishment.

My 3 will definitely call out their friends who do not follow the rules in our home. I've witnessed the self-policing and I've asked why friend x hasn't been around lately. We have the home where kids like to hang out, lots of snacks, pool, beach, soccer, baseball, basketball, and other entertainment and either my dh or myself are at home to supervise. We run a popular fun ship in summer, but my rules on some things are non-negotiable (pool, beach, electronics), and the kids who can't follow those rules are not invited back by my children so they can continue to do the fun stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 10:02pm

" personally find that a dangerous parenting practice. They are, of course, respectful to authority figures, but I also hope they have the tools to determine that some in position of authority are not to be followed without question (teacher, coach, etc). "


Not sure what you're getting at here. We're not Catholic, don't have any dangerous parenting practices--whatever those might be--except perhaps for an inattention to their financial

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 10:36pm

So very devout teen Christian don't now how to handle peer or inappropriate authority figures, IYO? What does this mean, if not paralyzed perceived aged authority and peer pressure?

I am very grateful that my kids, both respect and question authority. My kids are also influenced by peer pressure, but are also accepting of the results of peer consequences, e.g. if their friend breaks the rule in our home, e.g. unapproved net surfing, then our child loses net privileges. They police their friends, they are far from perfect, but they are great kids.

Well you did say you kids are very respectful of authority, but when they got with their friends, they didn't know what they should do to stop them. That's a huge red flag for me. I want my children to know how to act or react to any situation they finds themselves with friends or authority figures. Respectful is not always the reaction. Do you disagree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 12:31am
She pretty clearly said "at that age".

Both of my kids are devout Christians, very respectful of authority, but when they got with their friends, especially at that age, and someone wanted to do wrong, they didn't know what they should do to stop them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 5:48am
i don't know what being christian has to do with anything but yes, my DS and daughters, too are respectful of authority and follow rules.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 8:42am

My kids are 13 and 15, so they naturally question authority. I don't know any teens who don't do this. It's a normal developmental phase.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 8:56am

You

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 8:58am
Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

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