Removing Shoes re:our recent side debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Removing Shoes re:our recent side debate
43
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 3:02pm

I saw this on Dear Prudence (advice on manners and morals on Slate.com) and I was LOL:


Dear Pru,
What do you think about people who invite you over for a social gathering, only to get you to their doorstep and politely direct you to take off your shoes—without explanation—but presumably so you won't soil their carpet or scratch their floors? Is this acceptable behavior? I personally find it offensive and ridiculous.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:04pm
The BEST solution I've ever heard to this problem is that the hostess that is requesting the removal of footwear should provide disposable/cheap slippers for her guests. THat way, she keeps her carpets/floors clean and guests feet aren't exposed or cold.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:13pm
LOL. I missed this debate. We are a no-shoes household. I don't ask guests to remove their shoes, but I do develop a bothersome facial tic when someone is in my house with shoes on. I'm exaggerating, but just a little. Why would someone voluntarily wear shoes in the house?
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:16pm

<>


ROFLOL!!!!

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:19pm
I am a halfway type of person. The downstairs of our house has ceramic tile. People can't damage it with their shoes. So when we have a party we don't ask people to take their shoes off.

When we have the kids friends over though I ask the kids to leave their shoes at the bottom of the stairs because I don't want the carpeting upstairs to get filthy. This is common practice in my neighborhood. I probably would not ask people who were attending a party to remove their shoes. It just doesn't seem comfortable to me. I have my carpets cleaned after we have a big party.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:20pm
Prudence has obviously never travelled to places where it is the cultural norm. In Alaska, its considered rude NOT to remove your shoes, as in many areas of Canada and the midwest. I think this originated from the fact that we have so much in the way of inclement weather, and has progressed to just be a *norm* for us.

I have wood floors and tile throughout most of my house, fwiw, so its not that much of an issue. But people still remove their shoes. I love the feel of cool floor on bare feet...

:o)

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:20pm
We are also no shoes. I never ask anyone to take them off, but since dh's whole family automatcailly we do, and our friends who know us automatcailly do, first timers see this and cathc on quickly.

I don't offer up slippers, since I don't require bearfootedness, but we have lots of spare outdoor flipflops if someone needs to run outside and doesn't want to put shoes back on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 4:57pm
>>Why would someone voluntarily wear shoes in the house?<<

A lot of reasons. Maybe they have ugly feet, or smelly feet, or they love the shoes they were wearing before you had them take them off, or their feet get cold without their shoes or maybe they're just more comfortable with their shoes on.

In case you can't tell, I'm not a huge fan of shoes-off households. I'll do it (so as to avoid any unwanted tics in my hostesses eye! ;)) but in certain situations (i.e a nice dinner party) I don't get it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 6:04pm
<>

I've never, ever "had" someone take his shoes off at my house. I just look like I'm blinking a lot. That's all. ;)

About the smelly feet: you know what causes smelly feet, don't you? Wearing shoes all day long! If people would take their shoes off at home, their feet wouldn't smell. And they wouldn't have e.coli and little wormies and salmonella all over their floors -- everybody wins! Yes, I'm exaggerating, but when you have kids playing on the floor or mouthing toys that have fallen on the floor, I do think it's a little rude to track dirt all over the place.

Seriously, though, if it's raining or snowing out, and you go to someone's house, you take your shoes off, don't you?

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 6:35pm
>>Seriously, though, if it's raining or snowing out, and you go to someone's house, you take your shoes off, don't you?<<

Sure. The only time I get annoyed is when I'm over for a "function" (like a dinner or shower) and the host asks me to remove my shoes. Cases in point:

One time DH & I were invited to a dinner and I was wearing tall boots and a skirt - I looked like a complete moron without the boots, plus I had these disgusting knee sock lines on my white, unshaven legs. Hadn't planned on taking my shoes off and I felt uncomfortable the entire evening.

Another time (different house) I was wearing sandals to a wedding shower. I was unloading stuff from my car and making several trips into the house. The host asked me to remove my shoes - so I had to slip off my sandals, walk in and set my load down in the kitchen, put my sandals back on, walk out to the car and bring in another load, take my sandals off, . . . you get the idea. I thought it was ridiculous and rude. But hey, it is HER house. I'll just opt to never co-host a shower with her at HER house again! ;)


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 6:42pm
I'm with you (and the Japanese)--I just think all that gross stuff should be left at the door. My friends and (some family) family know this and remove their shoes at the door (as does the SLP and Parent Education, I believe that's their standard practice so as not to offend anyone). My parents and ILs don't. My mom I understand as she has diabetic neuropathy in her feet as well as swelling, and if she takes her shoes off, she may not get them back on. But honestly, the fact that my ILs and dad don't do it, even though they know we prefer it, drives me nuts. I just think THAT's rude. Esp. since I have a kid who is all over the floor...

I always take my shoes off upon entering someone else's home, unless it's a swanky work party of DH's or something.

C

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